People hate me
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
kayla, thres something in the big book that they may be following:
If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more
Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
could it be, since your drinking now, that maybe they are doing what is suggested?? how many times have you called them while drunk? maybe they realize they cant help you until you make the decision to put in the footwork?
there have been a few times I have had to stop chasing someone. its not easy, but for me and my sobriety, I have had to step away. that didn't mean I don't care. it means I will not be around people who are in self destruction mode. its no good for me.
I hope that after detox ya get back to a meeting.
If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more
Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
could it be, since your drinking now, that maybe they are doing what is suggested?? how many times have you called them while drunk? maybe they realize they cant help you until you make the decision to put in the footwork?
there have been a few times I have had to stop chasing someone. its not easy, but for me and my sobriety, I have had to step away. that didn't mean I don't care. it means I will not be around people who are in self destruction mode. its no good for me.
I hope that after detox ya get back to a meeting.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
I don't think anyone hates you at all Kayla - whats to hate? 
I get it though - I used to think the same near the end of my drinking days.
Alcohol warped my mind - even when I was sober.
Do something for your recovery - get sober - I bet you'll see things differently
D
I get it though - I used to think the same near the end of my drinking days.
Alcohol warped my mind - even when I was sober.
Do something for your recovery - get sober - I bet you'll see things differently
D
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
People may not be happy about seeing you in pain, suffering, and this may even come across as dislike for you at times, but it's more about them defending themselves against their own feelings of helplessness. It's less threatening to feel angry that it is to feel frightened.
Worse for me than any assumed hatred was knowing that most people just stopped caring. All that changed for me when I got sober.
Worse for me than any assumed hatred was knowing that most people just stopped caring. All that changed for me when I got sober.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
By your own admission you have been drinking quite a bit today. I know at Celebrate Recovery we allow someone who has been drinking to listen but not engage bc you cannot have meaningful conversation w someone who is currently under the influence at that moment. So its possible they are just waiting until you are sober to try and have meaningful conversation with you. You have to safely detox and get help.
Good luck and God Bless
Good luck and God Bless
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
Sponsors are always at a premium. There are always more people looking for a sponsor than there are sponsors.
It may be frustrating, but it just takes time. Everyone gets turned down a few times before they finally get accepted as a sponsee. Do not get discouraged--you will get a sponsor!
It may be frustrating, but it just takes time. Everyone gets turned down a few times before they finally get accepted as a sponsee. Do not get discouraged--you will get a sponsor!
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