Kayla50

I have done it again. I am still drinking despite my self talk that I will get better. I had tapered it down until last night and got in a fight over the phone with a new friend/ possible boyfriend. He sent me a text saying WE ARE DONE! I get it. I kind of wanted it to happen. I ruin relationships when I feel like they are getting too close. I've done it many times. Can anyone relate?

safe2breathe

with alcoholism?YES!

safe2breathe

with all of it really ... maybe it is time to start rethinking whatever strategy doesnt seem to work here? prioritize some ... focus on you for a bit ... idk maybe im wrong .. it is pretty late and im finally getting a little tired.

needtostopthis

I'm sorry. I caved in last night too and now I am beating myself up. I can also relate with the getting close to people. I always hate getting to close because I feel like it will only go wrong and they will desert me somehow. Heck I am married and i swear i try to ruin this relationship because being close makes me feel vulnerable. It is so weird.

safe2breathe

plus side of it - it is a new day and you can live it how you choose.

Johno1967

I can relate to this. I tried by myself for years and watched me ruin one thing after another until one day I realized I was no longer in control and surrendered my problem to my higher power and let go of trying to do it myself, I turned it over. The problem was lifted. Never drunk again. Self talk and self will never got me anywhere.

Steps 1-3 are very powerful.

Kayla50

It is such secretive disease. However, you don't fool as many people as you try to. It is a lonely place to be.

safe2breathe

i think JohnO will agree that there is a solution ... you just have to be ready and willing to take the steps.

KateL

Just try again Kayla and needtostopthis, then things will just fall into place. Relationships are a struggle at the best of times xx

readerbaby71

Therapy helps. It really does.

SlapheadClown

My last drink was eight hours ago.....so at least I haven't had much of a chance to backslide lol. I can relate....I've pushed a lot of people away myself.

My daughter is what's getting me to stop doing this...I want her to have a living, sane daddy <3

safe2breathe

why dont you all go ahead and commit to the 24 hr club?

quitter13

I've been sober for a month and I'm still sabotaging my marriage like I have with every other relationship. As I spend time sober and not drinking my problems away, I realize that I have many more problems then just alcohol. Alcohol definitely intensifies my problems and certainly never helped anything but quitting drinking is just a small step on a big journey

SlapheadClown

I just signed up for it, thanks for passing along the club

karate

Heck ,I think we are a majority of nutty people ,I can only speak for sure ,on my own mental issues .

ALCOHOL IS THE SYMPTOM OF A LARGER PREBLEM .

Dee74

How are you doing now Kayla?

D

Hevyn

Kayla you are not hopeless - none of us are. Please don't ever give up on yourself. You can still have the life you want - it is in your power to stop.

Brian316

Through my alcoholism I self sabotoged many things including relationships. I am just now starting to see this. Part of my recovery is learning where my side of the street is and not only trying to clean it up, but also avoiding playing in traffic.

Kayla50

Being alone right now is torture. I wish I could talk to someone.

Lifewillgetbet

Being alone is the toughest thing for me as well. I inevitably end up spending hours on the phone talking to supportive people but in the end, I just need to be with someone.

It does get better though .Try going to some meetings. I am no poster child for sobriety either, but I have had several bouts with long term sobriety.

Keep positive.