When and how did you finally have it in you to stop drinking?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
It wasn't negotiable ...i was killing myself , my doctor told me i am dying slowly .
Fatty liver , fatty pancreas , high blood pressure , Alcoholic diabetes, liver enzymes all elevated, high cholesterol, weight gain,anxiety, night sweats , leg jolts , depression, blurred vision , nausea , sore teeth , insomnia , diaorrhea , isolation. Biggest and worst symptom was unhappy children.
NEVER AGAIN . IM DONE .
Fatty liver , fatty pancreas , high blood pressure , Alcoholic diabetes, liver enzymes all elevated, high cholesterol, weight gain,anxiety, night sweats , leg jolts , depression, blurred vision , nausea , sore teeth , insomnia , diaorrhea , isolation. Biggest and worst symptom was unhappy children.
NEVER AGAIN . IM DONE .
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 396
If I do not stop, I will not see my young boy grow up, and this will destroy his life being with a single mother. I am scared of death, I only have 1 choice now. Just as i was typing this, he came over and said he was hungry. I had to stop typing and give him a hug. I do not want him suffering the same upbringing I had. I lost my dad early last year. Alcoholism was the killer.
Back soon after we raid the food cupboards.
Back soon after we raid the food cupboards.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
The realisation that at nearly 40 years old I was a fat alcoholic chain smoker. My younger self would have been horrified, I used to have such drive and ambition. I used to be a long distance runner. The sheer anger I had at that moment has kept me from drinking. I just hated my life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
My kids were starting to get old enough to know what was going on and I was sick of hangovers. I knew from experience that moderation is a myth. Once I got started it just gained momentum. Cravings and the mental roller coaster are better than alcohell, more every day.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
There was a lot of time building up to it. I can remember putting bottles of wine in the fridge and thinking, "I don't want this," and then cracking it open. I can remember thinking, I have to stop because I was so flipping miserable. At the end, if I drank too much, my legs would swell and I would be incredibly uncomfortable and I had this sneaking suspicion it was from drinking.
But my last drunk, I was really drunk. Two bottles of wine and shots and I dropped my cell phone, it cracked and I freaked out on my partner. Like, total a-hole diva flip out and the next morning seeing how upset she was and that I had caused that.... I stopped. And man! I am so glad I did! I don't swell, I don't have hangovers, I'm generally in a good mood. Life is great sober! Thanks for the thread, I got that off my chest. Lol
But my last drunk, I was really drunk. Two bottles of wine and shots and I dropped my cell phone, it cracked and I freaked out on my partner. Like, total a-hole diva flip out and the next morning seeing how upset she was and that I had caused that.... I stopped. And man! I am so glad I did! I don't swell, I don't have hangovers, I'm generally in a good mood. Life is great sober! Thanks for the thread, I got that off my chest. Lol
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I watched my mother do things in her alcoholism that even five years ago I would have sworn on my children that she would never do such as show up to family events featuring children loaded, stumbling drunk, babble on drunkenly at 8 o'clock in the morning, etc. I faced my drinking patterns honestly and I knew that if I didn't stop drinking I could end up just like her, probably at a younger age and I could not bear that thought.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by cocopuff3315 
When and how did you finally decide to kick the booze for good and never touch it again?
There was nothing me, myself and I could do to get sober. But when I surrendered the idea that I could somehow "achieve" sobriety - sobriety found me.
I know it does not make any sense. But spiritual principles don't need to make sense to get results.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I knew I didn't want to be that person I was. Who did those things, who ceased to make choices, just reached for a pill or a bottle.
If I was going to be alive, which takes effort and energy, then I wanted to actually live it, not be alive to be pouring my work, money, relationships and time into getting stupid and blotting my life out.
The last time I drank was the day I got divorced. I had purchased a bottle of very nice whiskey to "celebrate" with. When I was alone that night I poured myself a shot and took a sip and was like "WTF?" I mean how was THIS a celebration? How was this me stepping into a new life? it wasn't. It was pointless. It was pathetic. An expensive drunk was still just a drunk.
I didn't finish the shot. I was done. I picked up a book, read and went to bed.
I should add that I had gotten into recovery 2 yrs prior, and had relapsed twice, so the event described above was not my first attempt, nor had I been drinking a lot in the days prior. When I was done for good, I had been drinking intermittantly and when I stopped I didn't suffer withdrawal the way I had in earlier attempts.
If I was going to be alive, which takes effort and energy, then I wanted to actually live it, not be alive to be pouring my work, money, relationships and time into getting stupid and blotting my life out.
The last time I drank was the day I got divorced. I had purchased a bottle of very nice whiskey to "celebrate" with. When I was alone that night I poured myself a shot and took a sip and was like "WTF?" I mean how was THIS a celebration? How was this me stepping into a new life? it wasn't. It was pointless. It was pathetic. An expensive drunk was still just a drunk.
I didn't finish the shot. I was done. I picked up a book, read and went to bed.
I should add that I had gotten into recovery 2 yrs prior, and had relapsed twice, so the event described above was not my first attempt, nor had I been drinking a lot in the days prior. When I was done for good, I had been drinking intermittantly and when I stopped I didn't suffer withdrawal the way I had in earlier attempts.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Quit or die was my when my ticket got punched good. Not like it happened all of a sudden, I justified more drinking even after I knew I was finished. I couldn't stay quit because I wouldn't really accept that my life was already done for because of my alcoholism. I kept playing with ideas that I could change, that it was my fault for my troubles, that if I just could figure it out I wouldn't have to quit forever. This after being in hospital and jail for drinking and drug abuse - I still didn't get it.
Even when I finally quit for the last time, it wasn't to get sober, I was too far gone to care about a "better life." I successfully quit when I decided dying wasn't working for me either. Ironically, all my ******** caught up with me and I wanted to live anyways, even if it meant no more booze. I didn't want to die drunk on the street like I was human garbage.
I couldn't and didn't do it alone. I did three months intensive residential rehab living with other addicts. We worked together lived together and helped each other out. Not all of us made it, and I learned plenty what not to do, and what to do to be successful in my last quit.
So for me, the very thing that was killing me, my alcoholism, was also the thing that saved me. Having alcoholism is a completely different experience when you don't drink, lol. Now I'm a recovered alcoholic drug addict. Being recovered has made all the difference in my life time and time again no matter whatever challenges and opportunities come my way.
Even when I finally quit for the last time, it wasn't to get sober, I was too far gone to care about a "better life." I successfully quit when I decided dying wasn't working for me either. Ironically, all my ******** caught up with me and I wanted to live anyways, even if it meant no more booze. I didn't want to die drunk on the street like I was human garbage.
I couldn't and didn't do it alone. I did three months intensive residential rehab living with other addicts. We worked together lived together and helped each other out. Not all of us made it, and I learned plenty what not to do, and what to do to be successful in my last quit.
So for me, the very thing that was killing me, my alcoholism, was also the thing that saved me. Having alcoholism is a completely different experience when you don't drink, lol. Now I'm a recovered alcoholic drug addict. Being recovered has made all the difference in my life time and time again no matter whatever challenges and opportunities come my way.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 133
My drinking got progressively worse over the course of 8 years. I was working from home so I had the privacy and time to drink as I pleased - which was day and night at the end. Because not drinking triggered anxiety, I was in an awful downward spiral. My health was in decline. I'd vomit after taking the first few shots, and then just keep going. Then one day I woke up with such an awful hangover that I literally couldn't get a drink down. I decided that was the day I was going to stop for good. I quit and never drank again. That was over two years ago. Life is still life - ups and downs, but it's a million times better than it was before. xox
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Dreamer0
Waking up in a red wine saturated bed, holding an empty wine glass, *trying* to remember what happened the night before, feeling so physically terrible. Staggering to the closet for some clean clothes, opening the doors and having so many empty bottles tumble out I suddenly remember that's not where I put my clothes anymore. Falling back on the wine saturated bed, praying I can come up with some good excuses to get out of whatever it is I committed to do that day. Recover. Deny it's a problem. Repeat.
That was at least 6/7 days of my week. Recently, I started to notice something strange... I became infuriated with the alcohol. I was so beyond fed up with the miserable, hideous, life wasting hangovers, the broken relationships/friendships, being tired of being the pathetic drunk.
Something snapped, and I just couldn't lie to myself anymore, not even alcohol could help me shut the truth out. Basically, the alcohol stopped working and I finally had to face the music.
That was at least 6/7 days of my week. Recently, I started to notice something strange... I became infuriated with the alcohol. I was so beyond fed up with the miserable, hideous, life wasting hangovers, the broken relationships/friendships, being tired of being the pathetic drunk.
Something snapped, and I just couldn't lie to myself anymore, not even alcohol could help me shut the truth out. Basically, the alcohol stopped working and I finally had to face the music.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: na
Posts: 151
There wasn't an exact incident or breaking moment although I'm sure there could have been the way things were going.
After a rocky six months with different people around me, I have been back and forth about giving up. I can be a happy drunk or a mean drunk. But over the last six months, my violent outbursts against my spouse were frequent. Last year, at the bottom of my addiction, I lost all care for my hygiene. I cleaned up in summer and fall, but still continued the daily drinking. No one knew how much I was drinking so they blamed it on anxiety issues, maniac personality problems. Both good and bad that they thought that. Now that I've given up alcohol, I almost want to tell my family that it was the alcohol making me into that demon.
This fall, I had several blackouts, began throwing up in the morning and quickly downed a shot. New territory for me. My embarrassment at the round of liquor stores in my rotation, the concerned and patronizing looks of the clerks as they wondered why this young, professionally dressed person was buying a half pint of the cheap stuff, the lady in at Kum and Go who was onto me when I'd regularly buy wine at 8:15 in the morning and finally said 'BE WELL TODAY' with scorn in her eyes, the way I'd watch that bottle so quickly disappear and contrast that to the joy and reprieve from guilt I'd experienced when I had a new one to crack open, my self-loathing when my drinking reached a half pint a day which meant I was at the store every other day, the number of empty pints and pints, liters, four packs of wine that would tumble out of every crevice and be stowed away in every pocket of old coats, my children going into my purse to find my keys and seeing wine bottles in there, the bruises, waking up in the morning and thinking I'd done a good job by drinking less than usual only to find that a liter was more than half gone, the constant need to liquor up before going out on any occasion, to meet anyone, to be professional, on and on.
That list has been alarming me but the bigger reason I need to quit is for my sanity. I have been in more or less of a fog for two years, have hurt relationships, have disappointed people, have lied to feed my habit, have been exposed after leaving shot bottles on the car floor, because I'd quickly down one of them before coming into the house just to deal with people, have had to worry that every time someone goes into a room, a carelessly hidden bottle might fall out of a coat pocket. Weight would not budge off of my usually thin figure. I have hard liquor belly and puffy alcohol face. It's only day two and maybe it's in my head but it seems like my face is already different!
I need to stop for my health. There is nothing specific yet. There are some stomach pains but the thought that I may die someday soon as a result of my own making scares me. I some of us eventually die because of our habits whether it's bad eating, not exercising, but this just seemed like I was picking the fastest way to die. I hope this sticks and reading here will be my most important tool.
How: I'm am taking things one day at a time. I've quit before for five days and had no side effects so until I feel like something is really amiss, I'm just stopping. I drank heavily for two years and 2 a night for five. I'm not saying I won't go through withdrawal but I don't see the point in checking myself in somewhere or going to ER when I'm not craving or experiencing any physical effects. Tomorrow is day three. I hear that's the worst. I will have my benzos close. I'm hoping to do this all without heading to the hospital because that will just make me more anxious.
After a rocky six months with different people around me, I have been back and forth about giving up. I can be a happy drunk or a mean drunk. But over the last six months, my violent outbursts against my spouse were frequent. Last year, at the bottom of my addiction, I lost all care for my hygiene. I cleaned up in summer and fall, but still continued the daily drinking. No one knew how much I was drinking so they blamed it on anxiety issues, maniac personality problems. Both good and bad that they thought that. Now that I've given up alcohol, I almost want to tell my family that it was the alcohol making me into that demon.
This fall, I had several blackouts, began throwing up in the morning and quickly downed a shot. New territory for me. My embarrassment at the round of liquor stores in my rotation, the concerned and patronizing looks of the clerks as they wondered why this young, professionally dressed person was buying a half pint of the cheap stuff, the lady in at Kum and Go who was onto me when I'd regularly buy wine at 8:15 in the morning and finally said 'BE WELL TODAY' with scorn in her eyes, the way I'd watch that bottle so quickly disappear and contrast that to the joy and reprieve from guilt I'd experienced when I had a new one to crack open, my self-loathing when my drinking reached a half pint a day which meant I was at the store every other day, the number of empty pints and pints, liters, four packs of wine that would tumble out of every crevice and be stowed away in every pocket of old coats, my children going into my purse to find my keys and seeing wine bottles in there, the bruises, waking up in the morning and thinking I'd done a good job by drinking less than usual only to find that a liter was more than half gone, the constant need to liquor up before going out on any occasion, to meet anyone, to be professional, on and on.
That list has been alarming me but the bigger reason I need to quit is for my sanity. I have been in more or less of a fog for two years, have hurt relationships, have disappointed people, have lied to feed my habit, have been exposed after leaving shot bottles on the car floor, because I'd quickly down one of them before coming into the house just to deal with people, have had to worry that every time someone goes into a room, a carelessly hidden bottle might fall out of a coat pocket. Weight would not budge off of my usually thin figure. I have hard liquor belly and puffy alcohol face. It's only day two and maybe it's in my head but it seems like my face is already different!
I need to stop for my health. There is nothing specific yet. There are some stomach pains but the thought that I may die someday soon as a result of my own making scares me. I some of us eventually die because of our habits whether it's bad eating, not exercising, but this just seemed like I was picking the fastest way to die. I hope this sticks and reading here will be my most important tool.
How: I'm am taking things one day at a time. I've quit before for five days and had no side effects so until I feel like something is really amiss, I'm just stopping. I drank heavily for two years and 2 a night for five. I'm not saying I won't go through withdrawal but I don't see the point in checking myself in somewhere or going to ER when I'm not craving or experiencing any physical effects. Tomorrow is day three. I hear that's the worst. I will have my benzos close. I'm hoping to do this all without heading to the hospital because that will just make me more anxious.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I had a boatload of fits and starts. I was never a one and done kinda girl. I needed to go back out and do more and more field research until it just about killed me...
But then I gave up the fight. I realized that booze would win every damn time and there was no way to circumvent that reality for me. And believe me, I tried. Every trick, I tried. To no avail.
I believe I dodged a bullet. Well. More like a thousand bullets. I'm glad to be alive and damn grateful to have let the booze finally win.
I just gave up the fight.
But then I gave up the fight. I realized that booze would win every damn time and there was no way to circumvent that reality for me. And believe me, I tried. Every trick, I tried. To no avail.
I believe I dodged a bullet. Well. More like a thousand bullets. I'm glad to be alive and damn grateful to have let the booze finally win.
I just gave up the fight.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Cocopuff,
When? After about 10 years of heavy drinking after work and all day weekends, and finally 700 days of spiking my morning coffee because I was shaking so badly, and vomiting it up a third of the time, then had to try again. I would swear daily I would quit on the morrow that I knew would never come. I knew I was sinking fast. I was committing slow suicide and could not stop. I told my doc finally about six months before I figured out how for me. He was very clear that at my level of 30plus drinks a day, every day, morning to night that whenever I decide to detox and quit, to be sure I have medical support. I despaired as I am not rich and can't afford rehab. It took a few months to find that the VA hospital here would admit me to a medical seven day detox that I qualified for free of charge! I planned it for a couple of weeks in advance and my SH (Significant Harassment) gave me her full support. Our A/C unit died in mid summer so my detox with follow on 28 rehab day was delayed for another few weeks while I got it replaced as it was summer in the South and we had to sleep in the steel building out back that has its own unit until the house was inhabitable again.
I checked in, quit a three pack a day habit while in the hospital and used patches until I was over them too. I did quit the rehab after a few days because of a number of reasons but the number 1 reason was that I was free and not going back ever! No one at the VA believed that more than three years ago. I joined here and a local AA group, but did not need AA after three months where they were instrumental in my getting through the first three months.
The VA doctor and head counselor were convinced I was just trying to get back to drinking, and I understand they heard it all before. My otherwise wonderful AA home group were convinced I needed to keep on workin cause it works when you work it. They didn't realize that SR was all the ongoing support I needed. And that just to let others know that if I could, anybody can. The most valuable thing I got from here at about six months was that after reading all the relapse posts that there were a lot of commonality between them. The biggest one was that the most craving convinced themselves they were able to moderate their drinking as their plan to go back. The thoughts and obsessions before was their planning stage to go back to drinking.
I was fine once I realized that years into my sobriety I wasn't going to suddenly start craving a return to the prison it took me so many years to escape, unless I chose to. The devil didn't make do it, I do not hear voices, and a substance cannot be cunning.
Only I am in my head. Only I can be cunning. Only I can fool myself by foolish belief that I am not the master of my own fate. Whether saying God helps those who help themselves, or like the Big Book speaks about recovering as I did, and the obsession lifted, I believe that if it is to be, it is up to me. Relapsing proves that. It is up to me to seek out all the help I need. Including but not limited to getting a head start in the hospital, joining a great AA home group, reading and having practiced Albert Ellis' RET, which is the foundation for the Rational Recovery and SMART, the latter resources I also used extensively, local counseling, my several doctors, and my support from family and friends, and obviously SR! See, I take just what I need and leave the rest. If I relapsed I obviously left something I should have taken, or wasn't looking hard enough or exploring all the options without conditions like must have religion / must not have religion, must be hidden and not public / must be face to face support, must be tomorrow / must be today.
If it isn't working I wasn't working. Oh dear! Not that! I shall just keep doing the revolving door then I can be a victim and not be at fault for my drinking. To succeed, at some point, we have to take full responsibility AND have all the support we can get and afford to keep it going until we are recovered. That doesn't mean we can drink again. Just that we won't, and are secure in that knowledge inside.
No beliefs were harmed in this post. Mine are solely the responsibility of three winged monkeys, and Skylar "The Wonder Dog," who are solely responsible for this content.
When? After about 10 years of heavy drinking after work and all day weekends, and finally 700 days of spiking my morning coffee because I was shaking so badly, and vomiting it up a third of the time, then had to try again. I would swear daily I would quit on the morrow that I knew would never come. I knew I was sinking fast. I was committing slow suicide and could not stop. I told my doc finally about six months before I figured out how for me. He was very clear that at my level of 30plus drinks a day, every day, morning to night that whenever I decide to detox and quit, to be sure I have medical support. I despaired as I am not rich and can't afford rehab. It took a few months to find that the VA hospital here would admit me to a medical seven day detox that I qualified for free of charge! I planned it for a couple of weeks in advance and my SH (Significant Harassment) gave me her full support. Our A/C unit died in mid summer so my detox with follow on 28 rehab day was delayed for another few weeks while I got it replaced as it was summer in the South and we had to sleep in the steel building out back that has its own unit until the house was inhabitable again.
I checked in, quit a three pack a day habit while in the hospital and used patches until I was over them too. I did quit the rehab after a few days because of a number of reasons but the number 1 reason was that I was free and not going back ever! No one at the VA believed that more than three years ago. I joined here and a local AA group, but did not need AA after three months where they were instrumental in my getting through the first three months.
The VA doctor and head counselor were convinced I was just trying to get back to drinking, and I understand they heard it all before. My otherwise wonderful AA home group were convinced I needed to keep on workin cause it works when you work it. They didn't realize that SR was all the ongoing support I needed. And that just to let others know that if I could, anybody can. The most valuable thing I got from here at about six months was that after reading all the relapse posts that there were a lot of commonality between them. The biggest one was that the most craving convinced themselves they were able to moderate their drinking as their plan to go back. The thoughts and obsessions before was their planning stage to go back to drinking.
I was fine once I realized that years into my sobriety I wasn't going to suddenly start craving a return to the prison it took me so many years to escape, unless I chose to. The devil didn't make do it, I do not hear voices, and a substance cannot be cunning.
Only I am in my head. Only I can be cunning. Only I can fool myself by foolish belief that I am not the master of my own fate. Whether saying God helps those who help themselves, or like the Big Book speaks about recovering as I did, and the obsession lifted, I believe that if it is to be, it is up to me. Relapsing proves that. It is up to me to seek out all the help I need. Including but not limited to getting a head start in the hospital, joining a great AA home group, reading and having practiced Albert Ellis' RET, which is the foundation for the Rational Recovery and SMART, the latter resources I also used extensively, local counseling, my several doctors, and my support from family and friends, and obviously SR! See, I take just what I need and leave the rest. If I relapsed I obviously left something I should have taken, or wasn't looking hard enough or exploring all the options without conditions like must have religion / must not have religion, must be hidden and not public / must be face to face support, must be tomorrow / must be today.
If it isn't working I wasn't working. Oh dear! Not that! I shall just keep doing the revolving door then I can be a victim and not be at fault for my drinking. To succeed, at some point, we have to take full responsibility AND have all the support we can get and afford to keep it going until we are recovered. That doesn't mean we can drink again. Just that we won't, and are secure in that knowledge inside.
No beliefs were harmed in this post. Mine are solely the responsibility of three winged monkeys, and Skylar "The Wonder Dog," who are solely responsible for this content.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I ran out of edit time and the post above might be misread. AVRT works for some, AA for others, obviously SR is working for many of us, we are here reading. What I am trying to get across is that if what one is doing does not work, or goes against the grain or your beliefs then you may need to expand them. I do believe I am powerless over alcohol, bot totally in control of my sobriety. I do agree that we have internal dialogs, but for me those are with myself and I find that important, but if the other in the voice works great!
When the constraints of the belief system you are using fails, add what you are not doing. Not all are victims who fall, but as we all know we do plan relapses very carefully. If the system you are using works then by all means we are in this together and our goal was met. Having the beat method is not the goal, just being sober is enough. If it works keep working it! If not drop it! Keep trying and be willing to do whatever it takes to quit for good is always enough.
Improvise, adapt, and overcome. There is nothing wrong with using the Voices and personification of a chemical anthropomorphically as a convenient way to express our own cravings and justifications.
The craving to drink and the desire to stay sober is what is called cognitive dissonance. Which is when our beliefs and behaviors disagree. Humans have only two options to get out of the high stress of cognitive dissonance and only two options. We can change the belief or change the behavior. We believe drinking is bad and unhealthy so we decide to change the behavior so our not drinking behavior is in congruence with our belief it is harmful. Then we crave it so badly in early sobriety that we change the belief that we can't stop and alleviate the stress of not drinking by changing our belief to that we can moderate to be congruent with our drinking behavior. Which for us alcoholics lasts from one night to maybe ten days to a month, before our belief that we can drink is proved wrong by our behaviors of being sick and blacking out and hurting ourselves and those around us.
So long as I remember that, be it by AA, RR, here at SR, SMART, inpatient or out detox and rehab or going it alone with your doc read in, then I have validated my method for only me. What works for me will surely not work for all others. Just me and some others. If my belief is one method suits all, my behaviors may have to be denial when it does not. That is as tedious as drinking. I always remember that one size does fit all, of that one size.
When the constraints of the belief system you are using fails, add what you are not doing. Not all are victims who fall, but as we all know we do plan relapses very carefully. If the system you are using works then by all means we are in this together and our goal was met. Having the beat method is not the goal, just being sober is enough. If it works keep working it! If not drop it! Keep trying and be willing to do whatever it takes to quit for good is always enough.
Improvise, adapt, and overcome. There is nothing wrong with using the Voices and personification of a chemical anthropomorphically as a convenient way to express our own cravings and justifications.
The craving to drink and the desire to stay sober is what is called cognitive dissonance. Which is when our beliefs and behaviors disagree. Humans have only two options to get out of the high stress of cognitive dissonance and only two options. We can change the belief or change the behavior. We believe drinking is bad and unhealthy so we decide to change the behavior so our not drinking behavior is in congruence with our belief it is harmful. Then we crave it so badly in early sobriety that we change the belief that we can't stop and alleviate the stress of not drinking by changing our belief to that we can moderate to be congruent with our drinking behavior. Which for us alcoholics lasts from one night to maybe ten days to a month, before our belief that we can drink is proved wrong by our behaviors of being sick and blacking out and hurting ourselves and those around us.
So long as I remember that, be it by AA, RR, here at SR, SMART, inpatient or out detox and rehab or going it alone with your doc read in, then I have validated my method for only me. What works for me will surely not work for all others. Just me and some others. If my belief is one method suits all, my behaviors may have to be denial when it does not. That is as tedious as drinking. I always remember that one size does fit all, of that one size.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
I have no idea. I honestly don't but I think I was tired of being angry more than I was tired of drinking. It was getting harder and harder to function but I did not look at the booze as the cause of it until I was sober for three or four months. Then it became very clear it was the alcohol that caused many of my fears and anxiety.
I was just done. I had admitted defeat but I had no idea when I got to that point of surrender that I was not giving in or giving up, in reality I had open the door to the cage I had lived in for 26 years and I was finally free. The war stopped because I stopped playing.
I was just done. I had admitted defeat but I had no idea when I got to that point of surrender that I was not giving in or giving up, in reality I had open the door to the cage I had lived in for 26 years and I was finally free. The war stopped because I stopped playing.
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