OrdinaryBoy

Really itching for a drink tonight. Been pi**ed off all day. Girlfriend and kids out at a party. Have been invited to two but just decided to stay in to avoid temptation but suffering. Hard knowing shop is directly over the road from my house and I've got money to go buy booze but can't, or could go get drunk with family/friends but can't. Just feel like punching something or smashing something up! It's been 7 days today since I last drank, determined not to crack. I could scream.

Cathryn2001

Awww, Ordinary Boy, it's always hard in the beginning (esp. when that coincides with major holidays) but I promise you, you CAN get through this.

You're already off to a magnificent start--7 days under your belt, making the choice to stay in, posting here. Give yourself tons of credit for that. Is there anything you enjoy doing that can distract you--reading, watching a movie, going to sleep for a bit? Make sure that you aren't hungry--make a huge sandwich or eat a bunch of cookies (I think that there's controversy over this, but sugary items always helped diminish my cravings).

Also, reread your first post--think about all of the reasons why you have chosen to stop drinking. Right now, you are making huge strides towards being the person that you are meant to be. I know that it's frustrating initially, but it will get better.

Thinking of you.

karate

It won't make a thing better , but will make things worse .

Remember HALT , hungry , angry , Lonley , tired . That's when alocohol
Will really call your name

KyrieEleison

The goal is happy sobriety, not forcing yourself not to drink sobriety.

What has your experience been with drinking? Has it been good?

To long for something that has been destructive makes no sense.

The shift from forcing ourselves not to drink...not drinking, mad about it...shifts to focusing on what awesome things that we can do in life...

Think of good things, healthy things...what is something you could do that would be something you could never do if you were wasted drunk, or sick from drinking?

OrdinaryBoy

Thank you both. I know getting past tonight is a big step. It's just sheer frustration at minute and needing to vent. Feel knackered though because been at work and being on my own doesn't help. My girlfriend offered to stay in with me but it's not right she misses out because I've got a problem. Think I'll just watch a film and go to bed.

DarkDays

Grind it ! Just surf the urges ! You will be ok, been there many times, early days of course

Cathryn2001

So true, KyrieEleison! There are so many positive aspects to living a sober life--one of the immediate ones, relevant for for NYE, involves not losing most of New Year's Day because we need to sleep off a hangover (yuck--head pounding, room spinning, throwing up until it's just dry heaves, shame, guilt).

OrdinaryBoy

Most times it's bad experiences. I know if I drink I'll still be going when everyone else is in bed because it always ends that way. I'll probably end up making a t*at out of myself and I'll feel like death come tomorrow afternoon. 2 days into taking Omeprazole also to calm stomach acids down, the pain is terrible just reminding myself how bad I'll feel if I have a drink. It doesn't make any sense to want a drink, it doesn't stop me from wanting one though. I used to do a bit of Boxing and would love to do that again one day so keep thinking about that to distract me.

Cathryn2001

Vent away--that's what we're here for! You're doing an awesome job! I went to bed early many times during the first month (and I didn't have to contend with NYE)--it's a great strategy in the beginning. Without a doubt, you're going to feel GREAT when you wake up tomorrow!

aasharon90

Alcohol is nothing but pure poison disguised
in all shapes and forms of bottles, container,
never worrying who it kills in the meantime.

Today, some 23 yrs. of many one days at
a time added together sober, I still visualize
all those pretty packages of liquor as a bottle
with the word POISON written in large letters
on it. And if injested, it will kill me.

Today, tonight will eventually be over and
tomorrow will be here before you know it.
Sure, all those folks that will be drinking,
will have to wake up tomorrow. Some many
not make it as sad as it maybe.

Those waking up with hangovers, may have
regrets, shame, remorse, guilt, resentments,
and will have to deal with it. For those laying
their heads on their pillows sober, have no
shame, remores, guilt, to worry about.

Staying sober under any circumstance is and
has been my number one priority, even if others
don't understand or agree with it. My recovery,
staying sober, is mine and my responsibility
and I refuse to let anyone stand in the way
of my progress to becoming, happy, healthy,
and honest in all my affairs.

If you had a friend nearby that is also in
recovery, then the 2 of you can chill out
doing something sober while the rest of
the family is doing their own thing.

It is not meant for us to be miserable
in recovery. Laughter is the best medicine.

flutter

Hang in there, just get through today. It's so hard to find replacement 'fixes' to life when we're so used to the instant gratification of drinking. It's not impossible though!! Someone sometime on here said something that has always resonated with me, "I have never regretted NOT drinking". You will not wake up tomorrow and think "damn.. I should have drank last night!", I promise!!

OrdinaryBoy

Yeah you're right. Feel like I've got a pretty lonely existence at the moment. Not because I potter about on my own all day, more because I'm surrounded by a load of people I don't want to be surrounded by. Think I need to take up some new hobbies and make new friends.

DarkDays

Nearly 2 years sober and I can see no positives to drinking, I really can't.

Drink again you are in the same position , it's all bs.

Dominica2

I am in the same place you are. I have a headache from wanting to drink so bad. Just easy ****, like my xbox messing up is triggering me. It is going to be a rough night, but we can do this. One day at a time.

OrdinaryBoy

Yeah that's it, slightest thing winds me up. I think in honesty though I've probably used the slightest thing as an excuse to justify drinking because of my dependency on it. Every year for God knows how long I've said I'm stopping and now I have to for my health and my kids. Just seems like such a long road back to where I was before I started and clawing back some kind of respect off people who know me but it's the right road to be on.

Good luck for tonight, stay strong.

Thepatman

Boxing? And you feel mad... You need a punching bag to let your frustration on! ;-)

Threshold

this may sound super lame, but it got me through many friday nights and holidays in early sobriety...I cleaned. Laundered the blankets, detailed the car, vacuumed behind the fridge, cleaned out the fridge and wiped down the shelves etc. It broke the habit and association between those times and boozing/drugging.

In fact I am doing that very thing a lot these days, even into recovery because a case of the Winter blahs and stress had me slip sliding into a dark space in my mind. It really does help me to look and see that I've accomplished something and some damned annoying job is out of the way. I mean...face it, I'd rather do that when I feel lousy than waste a good day on it. know what I mean?

OrdinaryBoy

Didn't crack

KateL

Bloody well done, you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

readerbaby71

Good for you! You made it through. Anger has always been one of my biggest triggers for drinking. I hate it. Honestly I just breathe deeply and think the drink through. Think about how horrible, guilty and angry I'll feel tomorrow. It works.

BTW, I love your profile picture. Did you know Morrissey recently came out with an autobiography? I am going to treat myself to it in the New Year.

Good job on hanging tough. You can do this!