AA meetings in early sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 639
AA meetings in early sobriety
Hey everyone I'm Brian I'm an alcoholic. I'm at 63 days sober by the grace of God today. My question is for the AA people. How many meetings were you going to when you were in early sobriety like me? I ask because it seems like if I miss more than 2 days my attitude begins to change for the worst.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
I was unemployed, so I walked to 2-3 meetings a day, sometimes I got a ride to another one. I made it to day 12 and luckily I found someone to guide me through the steps. I don't know how I could have made it past 2 weeks without a new solution.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Johannesburg
Posts: 203
Hi Brian; well done on your 63 days!
I have never been to more than 3 meetings a week, that was for the first month or so.
I don't believe in the 90 in 90 philosophy outright. Mainly because there were some meetings which made me feel much worse and I badly wanted a drink after leaving. So its important to find a group that supports your recovery. Nothing wrong with the others, they just weren't for me. I also did a lot of AA reading and journaling at that time as well as see a therapist each week and those were probably of more value than simply sitting in meetings.
You need to stick with what is supporting your sobriety, if it's a meeting every 2 days at the moment, fine. Whatever is working. If it feels like its getting less effective, keep trying something new until you find what's optimal for you.
All the best
I have never been to more than 3 meetings a week, that was for the first month or so.
I don't believe in the 90 in 90 philosophy outright. Mainly because there were some meetings which made me feel much worse and I badly wanted a drink after leaving. So its important to find a group that supports your recovery. Nothing wrong with the others, they just weren't for me. I also did a lot of AA reading and journaling at that time as well as see a therapist each week and those were probably of more value than simply sitting in meetings.
You need to stick with what is supporting your sobriety, if it's a meeting every 2 days at the moment, fine. Whatever is working. If it feels like its getting less effective, keep trying something new until you find what's optimal for you.
All the best
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 557
I did anywhere from one to three a day for the first few months, but that was what I needed. Some people need more, some less. I also was unmarried and without children at the time, so I had no responsibilities other than my job. There is no way I could manage that now that I have a husband, a toddler, and a newborn. But my husband is understanding (also an alcoholic), so when I need more meetings he helps me make it happen. I'm currently making about five a week, but that's because I'm struggling with some things. Normally I do one or two a week. I've been sober six years.
So basically, I would say that the right number of meetings to make is however many you need. Early sobriety is rough, so do whatever you need to do to stay sober. It doesn't mean you'll always need that many meetings. And congrats on your two months!
P.S. Remember too that the meetings can't replace the steps. The steps are the solution.
So basically, I would say that the right number of meetings to make is however many you need. Early sobriety is rough, so do whatever you need to do to stay sober. It doesn't mean you'll always need that many meetings. And congrats on your two months!
P.S. Remember too that the meetings can't replace the steps. The steps are the solution.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
My wife and I did ninety meetings in ninety days a year ago. We both feel it gave our sobriety a solid foundation.
Now, I'm not saying there's no such thing as a bad AA meeting, but I learned something even at meetings I "didn't like."
edit--we were both unemployed at that time. She stopped going to meetings when she got a job, but I go a couple times a week before or after work.
Now, I'm not saying there's no such thing as a bad AA meeting, but I learned something even at meetings I "didn't like."
edit--we were both unemployed at that time. She stopped going to meetings when she got a job, but I go a couple times a week before or after work.
Last edited by Coldfusion; 12-26-2013 at 08:06 PM. Reason: add something
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,124
Hi,
I, too walked or rode a bus the first 6 months of my Recovery. I personally just love to go to a meeting a day. I very quickly found meetings that 'fit' with me, I'd say within the first month. So, bottom line: For over a year I go to AA Noon Meetings 3 days in the week. And I attend a Big Book Study every Saturday morning, and a CA meeting on Sunday morning. I went to my first Convention at 5 months sober. And, we're attending a BIG AA Convention in Long Beach in May 2014 ( I believe that's the date). Picnics, bbq's, just fun things with my new friends. Beats hanging with my drinking "friends"! Loving my Recovery in many areas of my life ODAAT.
Bobbi
I, too walked or rode a bus the first 6 months of my Recovery. I personally just love to go to a meeting a day. I very quickly found meetings that 'fit' with me, I'd say within the first month. So, bottom line: For over a year I go to AA Noon Meetings 3 days in the week. And I attend a Big Book Study every Saturday morning, and a CA meeting on Sunday morning. I went to my first Convention at 5 months sober. And, we're attending a BIG AA Convention in Long Beach in May 2014 ( I believe that's the date). Picnics, bbq's, just fun things with my new friends. Beats hanging with my drinking "friends"! Loving my Recovery in many areas of my life ODAAT.
Bobbi
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
Hi Brian,
Great to see you have got to 63 days. I believe the first 90 days is the worst. I certainly remember some pretty wild mood swings. For reasons I won't go into I can't go to meetings. Short story, my wife is against the idea and rather than argue over it or go behind her back I've found applying the steps, reading AA and recovery literature, checking online meetings and coming to this forum on a daily basis helps me a lot. I wish I could go to meetings only because I know that to keep it we must give it away. I tend to wallow in self pity too and often get the feeling that I might as well be a mute alien, I forget to rely on my Higher Power and my self will snaps backs at me without fail every time. I honestly believe that meetings would do me a world of good, especially as I have no mates to confide in that would understand me as an another alcoholic would.
I'm just mindful of one thing that my therapist said at the start of my recovery, to be careful that we do not become dependent on people, places, things or circumstances as part of our recovery. All of these are there to help us and we take what we need and leave the rest but ultimately only our personal relationship with our Higher Power, our faith and spirituality is eternal and vital. If we lose everything we still have God.
I do feel something is missing if I don't do my daily readings, prayer and meditation. Same feeling I get if I skip exercise for a couple of days. I get edgy and restless and down. I don't know if all of that was taken away I would lose it and regress back into alcohol. As long as I can commune with God and my faith is strong I trust that nothing is bad enough to force me to pick up.
Its great that you have taken to AA the way you have. All I would say is go as often as you feel you need to go but once you have found your feet try not make your recovery contingent on attendance at AA meetings alone. It really is a journey of self discovery.
Great to see you have got to 63 days. I believe the first 90 days is the worst. I certainly remember some pretty wild mood swings. For reasons I won't go into I can't go to meetings. Short story, my wife is against the idea and rather than argue over it or go behind her back I've found applying the steps, reading AA and recovery literature, checking online meetings and coming to this forum on a daily basis helps me a lot. I wish I could go to meetings only because I know that to keep it we must give it away. I tend to wallow in self pity too and often get the feeling that I might as well be a mute alien, I forget to rely on my Higher Power and my self will snaps backs at me without fail every time. I honestly believe that meetings would do me a world of good, especially as I have no mates to confide in that would understand me as an another alcoholic would.
I'm just mindful of one thing that my therapist said at the start of my recovery, to be careful that we do not become dependent on people, places, things or circumstances as part of our recovery. All of these are there to help us and we take what we need and leave the rest but ultimately only our personal relationship with our Higher Power, our faith and spirituality is eternal and vital. If we lose everything we still have God.
I do feel something is missing if I don't do my daily readings, prayer and meditation. Same feeling I get if I skip exercise for a couple of days. I get edgy and restless and down. I don't know if all of that was taken away I would lose it and regress back into alcohol. As long as I can commune with God and my faith is strong I trust that nothing is bad enough to force me to pick up.
Its great that you have taken to AA the way you have. All I would say is go as often as you feel you need to go but once you have found your feet try not make your recovery contingent on attendance at AA meetings alone. It really is a journey of self discovery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Congrats on 63 days, that is awesome.
I go to almost the same amount now that I went to at the beginning. I find that is not so much the amount but the quality I find at each meeting I attend.
Monday - Big Book meeting. I find this one has been the most valuable to me
Tuesday - Home group, lead meeting.
Wednesday - Mini-lead/topic with discussion
Thursday - no meeting
Friday - no meeting or a lead meeting. Honestly it depends how tired I am..lol
Saturday - Discussion meeting
Sunday - no meeting. Housework and plain relaxation fills this day.
For me it is about balance. I can't attend all lead meetings just as I could not attend all discussion meetings. I get something different from each one so I feel I get all aspects of the program.
Just find what works for you. We are all different and we get different things from the different types of meetings. Once you find what you like best and what helps you the most then that is what you will do.
I go to almost the same amount now that I went to at the beginning. I find that is not so much the amount but the quality I find at each meeting I attend.
Monday - Big Book meeting. I find this one has been the most valuable to me
Tuesday - Home group, lead meeting.
Wednesday - Mini-lead/topic with discussion
Thursday - no meeting
Friday - no meeting or a lead meeting. Honestly it depends how tired I am..lol
Saturday - Discussion meeting
Sunday - no meeting. Housework and plain relaxation fills this day.
For me it is about balance. I can't attend all lead meetings just as I could not attend all discussion meetings. I get something different from each one so I feel I get all aspects of the program.
Just find what works for you. We are all different and we get different things from the different types of meetings. Once you find what you like best and what helps you the most then that is what you will do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
I asked this to a man real early one. he said,'how many days a week did ya drink?"
I said,"all of them."
"then ya might want to start by only goin to meetings only on the days ya drank."
"welp, that would mean im goin to meetings only on days that end in Y."
I wanted what they had so I needed that many meetings and more.
" I ask because it seems like if I miss more than 2 days my attitude begins to change for the worst. "
I don't go to a meeting every day now, but this starts happen to me,too, when its time for a meeting.
I said,"all of them."
"then ya might want to start by only goin to meetings only on the days ya drank."
"welp, that would mean im goin to meetings only on days that end in Y."
I wanted what they had so I needed that many meetings and more.
" I ask because it seems like if I miss more than 2 days my attitude begins to change for the worst. "
I don't go to a meeting every day now, but this starts happen to me,too, when its time for a meeting.
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
I went to 2meetings,I knew nothing about AA then.I was amazed when I found out how many there were I could get to,I soon started going to more and more meetings.
I have never stayed away from meetings,these days I go to at least 3 a week.
I have never stayed away from meetings,these days I go to at least 3 a week.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Brian316 
Hey everyone I'm Brian I'm an alcoholic. I'm at 63 days sober by the grace of God today. My question is for the AA people. How many meetings were you going to when you were in early sobriety like me? I ask because it seems like if I miss more than 2 days my attitude begins to change for the worst.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 25
Congrats Brian...Some long termer put it to me like this...We have a disease and AA is our medication, and in early recovery we need as much of this medication as possible...over time we may need a little less medication, but if we try and live without it then were playing a very dangerous game.
If you had a heart defect (for example) and the doctor gave medication for treatment, then you would never stop taking it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I had to learn and be taught the importance
of what meetings were to my own recovery
program. It never failed that I would hear
something useful in one of those many
meeting I went to take home with me and
help me stay sober one more day.
I too, like you, if missed a meeting or
2, I would become restless, irritable or
discontent and not knowing why. I go
to a meeting, take the cotton out of
my ears and listen intentively to the
messages provided by other members
that had learned to stay sober for a
number of one days at a time.
Those messages I heard from their
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
of what their lives were like, before,
during and after alcohol or drugs, gave
me hope, strength, inspiration, to learn
to stay sober myself.
Even when I come here to SR, after
23 yrs sober, I never leave my computer
without a message I needed to read to
keep me on track with my own recovery.
You, SR, as a whole, as a fellowship, never
fail to give me what I need each day to stay sober.
You may not know it, but YOU do..!!!
It's going to any and all lengths needed to
remain sober, happy, content, honest,
understanding, considerate, openminded,
caring, trusting, forgiving etc.
of what meetings were to my own recovery
program. It never failed that I would hear
something useful in one of those many
meeting I went to take home with me and
help me stay sober one more day.
I too, like you, if missed a meeting or
2, I would become restless, irritable or
discontent and not knowing why. I go
to a meeting, take the cotton out of
my ears and listen intentively to the
messages provided by other members
that had learned to stay sober for a
number of one days at a time.
Those messages I heard from their
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
of what their lives were like, before,
during and after alcohol or drugs, gave
me hope, strength, inspiration, to learn
to stay sober myself.
Even when I come here to SR, after
23 yrs sober, I never leave my computer
without a message I needed to read to
keep me on track with my own recovery.
You, SR, as a whole, as a fellowship, never
fail to give me what I need each day to stay sober.
You may not know it, but YOU do..!!!
It's going to any and all lengths needed to
remain sober, happy, content, honest,
understanding, considerate, openminded,
caring, trusting, forgiving etc.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Huntsville, AL
Posts: 47
In the beginning I definitely went everyday. At almost 8 months sober I still go 5-7 meetings a week. I told myself early on that I have to spend as much time in recovery as I did drinking! I also read and meditate as well, got a sponsor and worked the steps. Congrats on your 63 days!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 6
90 meetings in 90 days really worked for me. I sometimes had to fight with myself to go to some of them, but I was always glad I went afterward. Every meeting is one more step in the right direction.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
I went to 4-5 a week and my substance abuse counselor once a week. I am at 8+ months sober and I am pretty steady at 3 a week now. Rarely less, sometimes more.
Edit to add that I was actively working the steps early in recovery and also met face to face with my sponsor once a week. IOW I wasn't totally relying on meetings to keep me sober. That's just me and what my sponsor suggested. My sponsor said it was up to me whether or not to do 90 in 90. I was working on my sobriety every day whether I was in a meeting or not.
Edit to add that I was actively working the steps early in recovery and also met face to face with my sponsor once a week. IOW I wasn't totally relying on meetings to keep me sober. That's just me and what my sponsor suggested. My sponsor said it was up to me whether or not to do 90 in 90. I was working on my sobriety every day whether I was in a meeting or not.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
I went as often as I could in early sobriety. Sitting alone, or even with other people, with my alcoholic drinking, PAWS and my daily and intense cravings was agonizing.
I didn't always leave meetings feeling as though I'd treated myself to a week at a spa, but it helped me to get sober and later to do the work I needed to do to achieve sobriety. When I came out on the other side, I had in place a treatment program, a reliable support system and an enthusiasm for living life. Priceless.
I didn't always leave meetings feeling as though I'd treated myself to a week at a spa, but it helped me to get sober and later to do the work I needed to do to achieve sobriety. When I came out on the other side, I had in place a treatment program, a reliable support system and an enthusiasm for living life. Priceless.
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