Bostonsportsfan

I've started drinking everyday again. A fifth+ of vodka a day and now I'm worried about stopping without going back to detox, so tomorrow I'm going back. I convinced myself I could handle drinking and that was such a stupid mindset. If I could drink normal I wouldn't have become an alcoholic in the first place. I haven't been coming to this site because I've been drinking.

Another week in detox will be good for me. I want sobriety, but have struggled to get it. I'll be using SR for support and I hope you guys stand behind me. I'm also considering AA.

Thanks for reading, James.

Flying4Life

Glad you are back James! Detox sounds like the right thing to do. Just get back in the saddle, we will be here for you. (((HUGS)))

jaynie04

Glad you are back James and Merry Christmas. I know you are young and this is tough but I watched you grow so much….you've got this. You built some real sobriety equity. I think you are wise to consider throwing everything you've got at it..and adding face to face might be that last piece of the puzzle.

Carlotta

Merry Christmas and back. You know the SR crew has your back . Definitely give AA your best shot. It has worked for many (me included) and if you give it 100 percent it will work for you.

IOAA2

Hi. Good to see your perseverance and hang in there. Each day sober for me the road became less bumpy and today I'm comfortable in my own skin, a far cry from my drinking period. AAs doors are open as long as we have a desire to stop drinking. I don't know your area however there are a fair number of young peoples meetings around in general, if not starting one would be interesting and getting involved is so beneficial.

BE WELL

Bostonsportsfan

Thanks for the kind words and Merry Christmas.

Detox is the right option for me right now. It will sorta suck, but it's the right thing to do. Being only 21 and struggling sucks, but I'd rather move on with my life and stop drinking. The young culture is to drink, drug, and party. That does make it hard to stay sober. I'm gonna learn to have fun with any substances.

I hope 2 detoxs in 3-4 month span will be finally get me sober.

Bostonsportsfan

Southern Maine has a fair about of AA members and meetings. I just don't like public speaking. Something about talking in front of big groups of people has always scared me. That's the only reason I'm unsure about AA.

Carlotta

Meetings come in different sizes, some are tiny with 4 or 5 members and other are huge...
You do not have to speak if you are ill at ease.
Just say: I' m James, I'm new and I'd like to listen.
(you don't even have to say you are an alcoholic).

Bostonsportsfan

Where I detoxed and will go back to tomorrow had an AA meeting every morning we attended and just sat in the back and listened. I kinda get how it works, but it still makes me nervous.

JaylaaKent

Being dead makes me nervous. When I got out of detox the first time - my addiction dr told me to do AA, IOP, or in-patient. I was like "Nahhh I got this, I don't talk in front of people, I don't like people knowing my business." Then I went back out drinking - back to detox - this last time seems to have stuck - I did both IOP and AA.

Bostonsportsfan

I'm not afraid to admit my problem. I just can't speak in front of big groups of people.

IOAA2

Boy can I identify with speaking to a group of people.

There is NO rule that says we must speak until we MAY want to. We may go on for years only saying our nickname if we want to. I go to a daily noontime meeting and there are folks who have done that for a long time.
When I came around I was in fear of having to say something and I was so shaky a couple people suggested I just listen for awhile. It all works out as very few at AA meetings have public speaking backgrounds. Some times those that do, I don't care to hear their egos at work.

BE WELL

MattyBoy

I had my 2nd detox this year 9 weeks ago today. A Fifth a day can be beaten amigo, Just need to organise a battle plan. Glad to have you back here and don't be discouraged... It often takes one or two slips to really drive home the point that we alcoholics can't drink like normal people . If I were to relapse any time soon I'm sure I would be back on a fifth of vodka a day or more and that's just evidence to me that my drinking is out of control when I start.

In a way this good be timing for you BSF... Psychologically , it might be good to be get sober in time for the new year so it can be both a new year and a new start for you. Good luck !

Dee74

I'm glad you're taking care and going to detox James.

I think you're getting great advice from people about after detox too - I think you need to do something - whatever you have been doing for your recovery, it hasn't been enough, has it?

D

TomSawyer

Always enjoyed your posts and I know we are in similar boats being pretty young in recovery. I haven't had continuous sobriety throughout the year either but I'm back to 60+ days and I think we learn a bit from each go-round. All the best.

Bostonsportsfan

Fair to say what I've been doing isn't working.

Hevyn

It's brave to own up to what's going on James. There's no way at 21 that I would have. So I kept going and almost destroyed myself. I know it's hard - being so young - but you are saving yourself a world of hurt and grief.

Of course we are here for you - and always will be.

EndGameNYC

Hi James.

Happy to see you're back.

Sanantoniosober

Welcome back. If it weren't for second (and third and fourth) chances, where would any of us be?

Best of luck to you.

karate

Hang in there man ,I agree a fifth a day , you need medical help .

Just think of how good you will feel without all that depression ,Or just speaking for myself ,the depression was crushing .