AA4life

I haven't posted to the forums in quite awhile. But tonight, as I was laying here trying to fall asleep I was thinking of how Christmas used to be for me. I am not saying that I am perfect now but I am sober now.

I used to drink daily. I had to. Didn't know how not to. So I always drank on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I knew I wouldn't have to work on Christmas day so I would often overindulge and then the next day I would be putting together toys for my oldest. They always were so frustrating and complicated when I was hungover. And I would feel sick of course. Not enough for others to notice but enough for me to definitely know I drank the night before.

Not only that, I would have to stockpile beer because nothing was open on Christmas day except 7-11 which works but isn't close at all. And, not to mention, I was embarrassed by how much I drank so I felt I had to hide beer in the garage or behind the bed etc. Especially if other family members were staying with us.

Tonight though is different than the past. One day at a time I am slowly approaching five years sober. I never thought that could happen! AA is what helps me, I know it isn't for everyone but I am thankful it is effective for me.

Contrasting tonight to previous Christmas Eve's is interesting. And for those who are unsure of sticking with it I can tell you first hand that it does get easier and life slowly does rebuild itself. One day at a time. Tomorrow, Santa's gifts will be put together with calm nerves, I won't be sharp with my wife or kids, and the day will go by much more smoothly sober.

Keep on keeping on people. This site really helped me starting out. I started lurking back in probably 2008. Had an account in 2009 when I sobered up. Then eventually switched to my AA4life name.

Please keep trying and please keep going. One day at a time, we can all do this. Be vigilant. Be grateful. Be sober.

Regards,

Dee74

My family casually reminded me today of the year I threw up over the kitchen counter.
I didn't remember that...until I was reminded.

I don't miss the shame, or the gargantuan effort to try and 'be cool' when I was anything but cool.
Today (My Xmas day) was good
D

TDInstall

Yeah, Christmas was always a bit of a weird one.

'Fortunately', I lived far enough away from my family that I physically couldn't go to see them during the holiday period, when my drinking was at its worst.

I do remember going to see them and my younger cousins being amused by what I thought was entirely reasonable drinking; I was holding back from my usual assault on my self, yet they still thought I was going for it; I put this down to them being young, but in retrospect, they were entirely correct in it being noteworthy.

To all those of you who are doing their first sober Christmas, spending it with your family who themselves are all drinking, I applaud your steel, and resolve. Fight it, and get through it. You have to.

Matterhorn

Well stated AA4life...being sober for Christmas is great! I too remember the painful Christmas days being so hungover from multiple weeks of drinking hard. I do not miss the shakes, nausea and regret...I remember pounding a couple of brews in the basement to calm the nerves to get through the long Christmas day...true insanity. As I sit here relaxed and having a cup of coffee waiting for the kids to wake up and see what Santa brought them, I look forward to the day all refreshed and ready to help install batteries and help put the kid's toys together. This is the way it is supposed to be...Merry Christmas!

Mountainmanbob

I guess that also sums up my drunk Christmases of the past
sure glad that we are sober today

wished for all
Mountainman

Nevertheless

I too am approaching 5 years sober,which makes this 4 sober Christmases.
I was always EXTREMELY hungover Christmas day. There were always a couple "hard to buy for" presents I put off buying until I got off work Christmas eve. Which meant I would slam a bunch of beers and wander around stores trying to figure out what to buy,while fighting the crowds. Which lead to more beer slamming,until I figured out I was running out of time and said hell with it and just bought something.
Of course then when finally home comes the wrapping phase. 4 beers to wrap one present? Sheeeese.

I still last minute Christmas shop Christmas eve. But I do it sober,with a fraction of the chaos of 5 years ago. And no hangover on Christmas day.

Merry Xmas.........
Fred

thebluewolf

Today is my first sober Christmas day since I started drinking 25 years ago.

It's.........interesting lol

Actually I am quite enjoying the festive season without any alcohol in my system and it's quite pleasant

AA4life

Thanks for all the replies. This really is a great resource for people. Very active and people seem to be so genuine.

Keep on keeping on...

readerbaby71

Congrats on five years! Glad you're enjoying Christmas.

TomSawyer

I've wrote about this before on here, but Christmas last year was a bad one for me. I was going through a vicious cycle in which I was starting to finally grasp the gravity of what I was dealing with and coming to terms with accepting that I was a true alcoholic. Christmas Eve of last year I woke up from a multi-day bender in withdrawals and realized I had intended to sober up days before so that I would be functioning for family festivities. It was one in a series of mornings when I realized this thing had gone off the rails somewhere. Glad to be sober this Holiday season.

Brian316

I can't think of any bad detox stories from my Christmas past (off the top of my head) but I do remember Christmas as being part of the downward slide I always felt like I was on. Several times I like another poster mentioned, would pound several beers before I went to anyone's house. One year I signed everyone's cards while being fairly intoxicated. Another, I went to my grandma's house while being highly intoxicated, one of the last years she was alive. This year, I feel I was really exposed to the true miracle of sobriety. I didn't dread going to a large family gathering. I could eat well not being hung over. I didn't spend a Christmas bonus on expensive beers. And I didn't have to justify my behavior saying it's the holidays. Actually I didn't have to justify my speech or behavior at all.

Sanantoniosober

Nothing to say but

This place is full of inspiration!

joshlyman

Christmas then: a hangover to start the day, mimosas with breakfast, beer to follow, fights starting by 2pm, by 5pm cops were either there or on their way, 8pm cops might have been there again, 10pm onwards-who knows, I was blacked out

Christmas now: a wonderful morning watching my family opening gifts, a full 3 course breakfast, an afternoon full of watching Christmas movies, a fantastic dinner and a night spent drinking hot chocolate and watching even more Christmas movies.

I love sobriety!

Elisabeth888

This is my second sober Christmas on my own volition. I say that because in 2011 I was sober but only because I had an alcohol detector on my ankle courtesy of the county. I could not stay sober while on probation for my second and third DUIs so they made sure I would or else I could sit in jail.

That Christmas I was at my inlaws and every 15 minutes this vibrating noise would go off. I was terrified they would find out, so I acted like it was my phone.

So this year as well as 2012 I am sober (thank God) because I want to be and it feels great!!