Brian316

Hey everyone. I am going through a somewhat rough time right now but I am proud to say I am 57 days sober. And I am very grateful for that. However, I am also facing foreclosure, divorce, and loss of child custody rights. Yeah. Hey this is what a lifetime of alcoholic drinking can bring you. AA and the world's best sponsor have helped me ALOT. I typically go to about 5 meetings a week. Anyway due to all of this I am living with my parents temporarily. They both drink pretty heavy and sometimes are easier than others. Tonight I missed my AA meeting and in its place got a bonding life counseling session with my very inebriated step-father. Other times it's my mom drinking 2+ bottles of wine in a sitting. If they keep to themselves or don't get so intoxicated I don't have a big problem with them drinking. But when they get trashed and want to interact and talk about stuff I don't feel like discussing with them when they're drunk it's difficult. My step-dad had me questioning my desire to stay sober tonight. Don't know if anyone else has experienced this. I feel like it's partly my fault and now I am not drinking over my troubles but someone else is? Argh I gotta get out of here soon!

anyistoomuch

Oh gosh - Brian, that sounds soooo rough. I don't know what to do to help, but I am sending you hugs and positive vibes. You can get through these tough times.

Is there a place you can go and give your time? A place you can volunteer so you can be out of the house as much as possible?

Tamerua

I would talk about it in meetings. At least get it off your chest and then the topic would likely go from there. I know that has to be tough... I've spent the last couple of weeks with drunk people and I know I used to be one. But eesh! Stay strong!

gaffo

Hopefully this experience will strengthen your resolve not to drink.

foodie1

I don't think any of it's your fault: they're drinking, and that's their thing; you're staying there temporarily and out of necessity. It's obviously a terrible environment for someone in recovery! Finding somewhere else to stay asap would be ideal. Lots of great suggestions so far, good luck!

Brian316

Thank you for the input everybody. Anyistoomuch, there is but I have no vehicle right now and it's cold winter here. I am very thankful to have been able to get to a lot of meetings though ( my mother lets me borrow her car) and my sponsor helps me with rides some. I appreciate the hugs and good vibes tho, and I apologize that the OP sounded kind of negative. Tamerua, I may bring it up in a meeting. That's a good idea. I am sorry you have had to go through similar. There is nothing worse in early recovery than having to deal with a practicing drunk sometimes. I almost feel like I am getting paid back in a way for all the times I used to confront and get in people's faces when I was drunk. I had people tell me to call them when I was sober a couple times. Thank you Foodie, I needed to hear that. I knew they both drank daily I guess I just didn't realize to what extent. I am making plans to get out ASAP.

KyrieEleison

I just had this weird image of you pulling out your big book at the dining room table, and saying "Hey guys"! Let's check this book out."

"Mom, drinking two bottles of wine is too much, and father in law...you were drinking alot too."

"I have a problem with drinking, and this program I go to has a book which we can all read together."

"It's cold outside...we are all stuck in the house together....maybe we could read a personal story out of the back and talk about it."

"Maybe we will set a goal to have a sober healthy Christmas and go through this book together as a goal by the New Year!"

Attraction not promotion...ok, caught myself.

How about you sit at the table with your book, and when they ask what you are reading, say...pull up a chair. Let's check it out together.

If that is totally out of the question...try to get out of the house together and go somewhere to have some fun...encourage them to go to the movies with you, go see something inspiring...

Hang in there....we can be sober regardless of anyone or anything.

Use this as an opportunity to be helpful to them. People drinking for oblivion need help just as we do, and we must try to see why they are doing it, so we can be helpful to them.

Maybe get them in the kitchen to bake some cookies...or cook something different...make up some kind or project.

I wonder if you sat them down and said, this drinking is bad for all of us, how can we get healthy together...Let's make this a changing time for us all...let's go shopping and buy healthy food, let's go for a walk daily together to get some fresh air and try to spend some quality time together...

Be the catalyst for change in your home.

They say in AA create the fellowship you crave...and maybe it will start right in your home.

Maybe you don't run...maybe you are the light and in changing yourself, your inspire them to change, and you don't have to go anywhere.

Imagine all of you sober, and healthy. Imagine.

As my past sponsor would say...when I said I had a problem...

"What you have is an opportunity."