TDInstall

Hey,

I am over one year clean now, and have no intention of drinking ever again.

I seem to have lost a lot of the initial drive that quitting gave me though, now I have passed the one year mark. I was super motivated to get fit when I quit, and did just that. Now I have 'arrived' I kind of feel everything is an anti-climax.

Anyone else get that feeling after they got passed the one year mark?

sugarbear1

Congrats on one year!

Make some new goals and go after them!!

MIRecovery

I go to AA because the program challenges me every day to grow as a person and to have a purpose in life. I have come to learn my alcoholism was a symptom of bigger problems. By working on myself I seldom feel stagnent

EndGameNYC

Well, considering that most people can accurately describe most days as "anticlimactic" for one reason or another, and if this is an acceptable reason for you to change horses, then any given day is a good to to give up.

There are fits and starts in every life, with and without alcohol. Giving in to temporary mood states, misfortune, and just plain bad stretches renders much of our hard work meaningless. What's the point of living if I'm unwilling to weather life's inevitable storms, or to struggle through just plain 'everydayness'?

You need to decide whether or not it's worth it for you to risk ruining your life by reaching for temporary relief.

We often get caught up in the idea that working harder is the solution, though we continue to fail no matter how hard we work. Hard work is everything, right? Working 'different' comes with very little risk, and can yield life-changing benefits.

Boleo

I no longer use calendar days spent not-drinking as my benchmark. Instead I use time spent with POMJSOP (Peace Of Mind, Joy, Sense Of Purpose).

TDInstall

As I stated in my initial post, this is not in any way making me consider alcohol. I am never drinking again. I

tootsl1

Hi TD, and congratulations on your first year, I am nearing nine months. I guess you are at the point now, having passed the first anniversary, where you are ready for your recovery to sit in the background while you look at doing something more with your life than getting and maintaining your sobriety. Perhaps you need to look at what you want to do, go back to studying, find a better job, do some volunteer work? Sounds like you want something more worthwhile now in your life. All the best!

1undone

For the love of gawd!

You are being honest and sober but maybe I shouldn't read anymore. A year and still the "angst."

Don't get me wrong!!!! I don't want to be a jerk about your post. It's just hard. Not that you don't know that!

indakut

Excellent advice!!! I arrived and found myself saying now what? I set new goals and worked to meet them. No way do I want to go back to that lifestyle no matter how mundane life temporarily feels.

Congrats on 1 year

doggonecarl

While a year is a great milestone, and congrats on that, it's just a mark on the calendar. I made greater strides in my recovery from year one to year two. I learned how to live and be happy sober.

Like others have said, determine what you value, create goals that align with those values, and pursue them.

24hrsAday

i agree. anyone can get in a Blah Spot in their Recovery. i know i have Many Times.. (too many) it is a widely known saying in AA that nobody stays STILL in their Recovery for Long. you are Either moving FORWARD or... you are Moving backwards. find something to Challenge yourself with.. Recovery is to be Enjoyed!

Threshold

Hey TD, congrats on your recovery time...maybe a case of the honeymoon being over?

Don't know where you live, but I'm in the Northerns Hemisphere and I get the the dark mood that goes with the dark days. I don't plan on drinking either, but I definitely don't feel motivated to set new goals, etc. I have been through this before...sometimes due to season, sometimes just...who knows why. And like the other times, I'm pretty sure it will pass. That helps me just keep on keeping on.

Part of what led me to drink and drug was me thinking something was wrong with me when I didn't feel "good" or right, or purposeful or able to leap buildings in a single bound or whatever. I used to try to "fix" that, push myself, prove myself. Now I am accepting that stages and phases are part of life, and when I am brain dead and blah...washing windows, shoveling snow, and deleting old emails are productive things that make my life less cluttered when ideas and energy start flowing again.

I used to think in early recovery that EVERYTHING was related to drinking/using or NOT drinking/using. I was hyper alert of every feeling, thought etc, analyzing it. Then got to realize that once I got over a certain hump in recovery...life was life was life. Not everything I ever felt, did, or didn't do was about addiction, not even when I was in active addiction. Accepting that was actually a huge step forward in recovery, because I was able to let go of drinking/drugging on a deeper level. Realizing I could move forward addressing life for what it is, rather than in some fog of thinking all of life was still in relation to addiction.

A down phase didn't mean I was on the brink of relapse.

I've never been a goal oriented person, so I can't address that. I'm more about the experience as I bounce along. Setting goals sort of keeps me from enjoying the ride and seeing the scenery, but that's just my own mind and personality. Sounds like goals are a positive for you.

jdooner

Its an interesting word choice you have "arrived." This is used in the Big Book. I relate bc I used to go to company meetings in my Hertz rental car and when I got to the destination for a big meeting, the Neverlost would say you have "arrived," and I would say out loud with nobody in the car "yes I have." I felt I deserved something. I had earned everything that was to come to me. 25yrs of schooling, overcoming much adversity, all my achievements, meetings with CEOs of Fortune 500 companies - I work hard and play harder and admit I have "arrived."

Congratulations on the one year sober and getting into shape. I thought I was much further ahead (3 1/2 months - I know you want perspective for >1yr people) and went through most of the exercises including calling myself an "alcoholic" at the meetings. But there was this little 1% that was not convinced. I then started to move away from my own program. I had a mini intervention, which just pissed me off and actually pushed me further from AA too. I posted several OPs about this and was distancing myself inch by inch. I started reading more, thinking I knew more than others on this Forum and started to believe I might not be an alcoholic after all.

This is when last week I was hit by a crushing thought that turned into a full blown obsession. I had an idea of having a glass of wine, nice wine, one of my best actually by the Christmas tree. Then I said nah, forget the wine, I bet you could handle a vodka martini, one with the olives that have the stuffed blue cheese. Then that shifted to 4 martinis. Then we added some lines of coke, now I was back to where I started.

Anyhow, last week was a tough but important lesson and pill to swallow for me personally. I too thought maybe I had "arrived" like I had so many times before. Only the destination was a train right back to my personal Hell. The only thing I would suggest is explore the underlying motivations (go back to your early posts) - even with brutal honesty this last one was tough for me to grasp a hold of.

Also, "arriving" suggests a destination, which breeds complacency. I like to think of this process as constant change.

ADaisyifyoudo

Exercise was a big goal for me too - get in shape and stay there. I now put races (running) on my calendar every few months and use that to keep me motivated. Just did a big relay race with 11 friends (Reach the Beach in New Hampshire) and it was great to have 11 friends to train with and keep me interested. Is there something like that (on the fitness side) that could keep you interested?

I like the suggestions though about larger goals. . .and thinking about what else you'd like to do with all the free time and mental energy you can now enjoy. Volunteer for a non-profit? Learn a new skill? I know that sounds trite, but my best advice (at 2.75 years. . .give or take) is to keep yourself busy, physically and intellectually. Don't allow boredom or complacency into your life.

Good luck!

Daisy

Dee74

My first year was pretty much all about not drinking - my second year and beyond was about a wider focus looking at me and my life and deciding what changes I needed to make there...

maybe you're at this crossroads too TD?

D