6 months sober feeling weak help!! will i ever have fun sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: belfast
Posts: 10
6 months sober feeling weak help!! will i ever have fun sober
hi everyone im 6 months sober and this past week or so i can't stop thinking of drinking planning what im gonna do say to people about drinking just one last time!! i haven't been to aa in a while and i don't know whats stopping me from going i know its the best place for me i honestly think if i stay away ill start drinking again. Im even dreaming of drinking. keep reminding myself why i stopped, i am an alcoholic, i know this but my head tells me it will be different this time ill just drink at weekends or in the house, just beer, my heads like a washing machine really trying to convince me to go get that friend who will drink with me and be glad to have me back. i miss my girls nights out. no one invites me anywhere now. im 37 and just don't want my whole future to be sitting in the house with takeaway and dvds, will i ever have fun or party again without the booze. any advice would be gratefully appreciated. i really need a meeting and a good kick up the bum too. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Sounds like you are planning a relapse jolene;
Think hard if you really believe you can moderate.
I tried after two years of sobriety and fell right back into the boozing.
Many others here have found the same results.
Consider this my polite kick up the bum :-)
I do have fun but it isn't the same as when I was getting drunk.
You have a different focus. Conversations are much better, but
honestly I really hate talking to drunks now. No fun.
So if you are hanging around a bunch of drinkers, fun may be less.
Mixed groups or sober folk are a much better bet.
Well done on six months! I suggest waiting at least a year before you even
consider moderation. It takes awhile to get used to being a sober person.
Good luck
Think hard if you really believe you can moderate.
I tried after two years of sobriety and fell right back into the boozing.
Many others here have found the same results.
Consider this my polite kick up the bum :-)
I do have fun but it isn't the same as when I was getting drunk.
You have a different focus. Conversations are much better, but
honestly I really hate talking to drunks now. No fun.
So if you are hanging around a bunch of drinkers, fun may be less.
Mixed groups or sober folk are a much better bet.
Well done on six months! I suggest waiting at least a year before you even
consider moderation. It takes awhile to get used to being a sober person.
Good luck
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Six months sober and miserable? That's abstinence, not recovery.
If you know AA will help, go. If you don't go, knowing it will help, then your addiction has taken you over and a relapse can't be far behind. Like you said, don't let this be your future; don't entertain one last blow out.
If you know AA will help, go. If you don't go, knowing it will help, then your addiction has taken you over and a relapse can't be far behind. Like you said, don't let this be your future; don't entertain one last blow out.
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,143
Originally Posted by jolene22976 
... im 37 and just don't want my whole future to be sitting in the house with takeaway and dvds, will i ever have fun or party again without the booze. ...
This is easier said than done, but you don't have to sit in the house. Go to a museum, walk in the park. For me, those things feed on themselves and end up making me want to do more, get out more. Hang in there. 6 months is so great, don't let the AV take it from you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
Oh I hate those thoughts. I relapsed after 1+ years of sobriety. I told myself, yup just one night. Sure it was however 2 weeks again it was another night. Then both weekend nights. Then drinking 1 night a week. Then multiple nights. Then full time drinker again.
It is sick I know.
I'm 4 months sober again and it just goes to show how incredibly vulnerable we still are. This weekend was the worst for me yet. I went to a meeting Friday night, 3 Saturday and 3 Sunday just to get my mind off it and to occupy my time so I didnt make a stupid mistake and drink. My advice would be to get back into the rooms. I don't know about you, but I need the rooms.
Take Care.
It is sick I know.
I'm 4 months sober again and it just goes to show how incredibly vulnerable we still are. This weekend was the worst for me yet. I went to a meeting Friday night, 3 Saturday and 3 Sunday just to get my mind off it and to occupy my time so I didnt make a stupid mistake and drink. My advice would be to get back into the rooms. I don't know about you, but I need the rooms.
Take Care.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by jolene22976
hi everyone im 6 months sober and this past week or so i can't stop thinking of drinking planning what im gonna do say to people about drinking just one last time!! i haven't been to aa in a while and i don't know whats stopping me from going i know its the best place for me i honestly think if i stay away ill start drinking again. Im even dreaming of drinking. keep reminding myself why i stopped, i am an alcoholic, i know this but my head tells me it will be different this time ill just drink at weekends or in the house, just beer, my heads like a washing machine really trying to convince me to go get that friend who will drink with me and be glad to have me back. i miss my girls nights out. no one invites me anywhere now. im 37 and just don't want my whole future to be sitting in the house with takeaway and dvds, will i ever have fun or party again without the booze. any advice would be gratefully appreciated. i really need a meeting and a good kick up the bum too.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Derby, UK
Posts: 203
Thanks for the post Jolene. I totally know where you're coming from as I have 6 months 'abstinence'. I also attend AA, have a great sponsor and try to work a programme but I like you find myself thinking 'is this it, is this my life'?
My AA friends tell me that this is common and that most people don't have sudden spiritual experiences but that they grow with time, effort and experience.
If you drink you know ya gonna regret it. Prayers for you.
Brit
My AA friends tell me that this is common and that most people don't have sudden spiritual experiences but that they grow with time, effort and experience.
If you drink you know ya gonna regret it. Prayers for you.
Brit
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
I personally did not do well with abstinence. Take the alcohol out of the alcoholic and you still have an alcoholic! She's just dry. No fun. For me, rewiring my mind was the key to freedom.
Adding AA to my plan really did the trick.
Adding AA to my plan really did the trick.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn't done so yet.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition
when i got sober, the party just began, but i had to make it happen.
advise: get to a meeting
or you can try to hold onto your old ideas.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition
when i got sober, the party just began, but i had to make it happen.
advise: get to a meeting
or you can try to hold onto your old ideas.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Hugs.
Sometimes our issue is that we don't know other ways yet to enjoy life. We were in the drinking rut...so, stopping just leaves a void.
That void can be filled with all the good things life has to offer, if we let it. We can do more than let it by inviting new good things in.
Girls aren't calling you for gals night out? So, can YOU call someone (a different friend) for a non drinking outing?
12 steps helped me focus on cleaning up the past and moving forward with a positive attitude.
I ALSO had to learn that it's normal to have lousy days, rough patches, etc...that everyone has them, sober, drunk, people who never had a drinking issue, it's part of life and I don't have to freak over it, or worry that it is going to last for ever.
I used to think that if I wasn't drinking and life wasn't going my way, it meant I was doing something wrong. Not neccessarily. I could often help myself by doing something differently though.
I'm glad you checked in here. There are two things that are NOT helpful, drinking, and fantasizing about drinking. Those will take us to the bad place.
Coming here first to get strength and fresh ideas was GREAT thinking.
Get back to an AA meeting, get on track, work the steps, the relief DOES come. I didn't understand how, or why those steps would work, but i did them and it worked.
Hang in there. We can do this.
Sometimes our issue is that we don't know other ways yet to enjoy life. We were in the drinking rut...so, stopping just leaves a void.
That void can be filled with all the good things life has to offer, if we let it. We can do more than let it by inviting new good things in.
Girls aren't calling you for gals night out? So, can YOU call someone (a different friend) for a non drinking outing?
12 steps helped me focus on cleaning up the past and moving forward with a positive attitude.
I ALSO had to learn that it's normal to have lousy days, rough patches, etc...that everyone has them, sober, drunk, people who never had a drinking issue, it's part of life and I don't have to freak over it, or worry that it is going to last for ever.
I used to think that if I wasn't drinking and life wasn't going my way, it meant I was doing something wrong. Not neccessarily. I could often help myself by doing something differently though.
I'm glad you checked in here. There are two things that are NOT helpful, drinking, and fantasizing about drinking. Those will take us to the bad place.
Coming here first to get strength and fresh ideas was GREAT thinking.
Get back to an AA meeting, get on track, work the steps, the relief DOES come. I didn't understand how, or why those steps would work, but i did them and it worked.
Hang in there. We can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: belfast
Posts: 10
everyone your advice has been amazing and im glad i checked in here too. i know ive been over thinking drinking. if anything it should prove to me i do have a problem. i really need to think about abstenence and recovery. thats whats wrong im not recovering im just not drinking. i feel more positive this evening and i thankyou all from the bottom of my heart. xxj
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Jolene,I have never heard anyone who has been out drinking again say what fun it was.
Get back to a meeting before your head talks you into picking a drink up.
Look forward to hearing how you get on.
Get back to a meeting before your head talks you into picking a drink up.
Look forward to hearing how you get on.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
We always go out for dinner after meetings on Fridays/Saturday nights. Find myself leaving before everyone else to get home and get to sleep (11PM or later). So I don't think life is "over" - just need to find sober friends to do things with.
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