Anoronha

So yesterday I went to a meeting and immediately afterwards wanted to go to liquor store and drink. I called my friend and talked to her and then I still went to the liquor store and I went and looked at all the liquor for 5 minutes. Left without buying anything was going to buy a shooter and drink it after work. I was going to call my sponsor and tell her what I did but I heard a voice telling me I needed to do that so I called her and told her what happened. She had me do some journaling and then I was supposed to meet her to go over some other AA recovery material in a womans ways workbook but I had an epiphany in the car on the way to her house I just felt it was time to move onto step 11 that if I didn't continue I would relapse for sure and I don't want that to happen. I told my sponsor that I was ready and we read step 11 in the 12 by 12 and talked about it. Now it is onto step 12. I feel that I am ready to do it now. My sponsor says I need to move on and stop acting like a newcomer that I have been in the program for a year and a half. I also have 6 months of sobriety. After I am done with step 12 we will go over the traditions and I will actually think about being a sponsor.

I had been neglecting praying for two weeks and not making as many meetings and I let old habits creep in. I think this experience I had at the liquor store has taught me a lot. Doesn't mean I am going to do it again. I am not saying it was a good idea.

digdug

I heard once in a meeting that there will be times when you need that drink but your sponsor won't be around. Your AA friends won't be around. It will just be you and that bottle. So if you aren't on solid spiritual ground with your higher power, you will lose every time. The steps, especially the 11th, are for when you're in this exact situation and it's just up to you and your HP to make the right decision.

EndGameNYC

Good work, Anoronha.

All our suffering is meaning less if we don't learn from it.

tomsteve

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.

DayTrader

The way one "works" step 12 is by being helpful to other drunks. You don't "do" 12 any other way.........well, you do the "practicing in all your affairs" but that's ongoing for the rest of your life.

Don't be afraid to reach out to help other ppl. You don't even have to be their sponsor to help. Just offer... God will put the right ppl in your path.

And you're right about the store experience. We get some subtle nudges from time to time but then we get some not-so-subtle ones too. Thankfully, we usually get them when we need them.

keithj

I've never seen the need to separate Steps 10 and 11 in time. They tend to blur together in the actual BB text, and are both all about me growing a deeper contact in trust in a higher power through specific actions of prayer, meditation, and continued inventory.

I'm a huge fan of getting into working with others (Step 12) as soon as possible. Obviously it's between you and a sponsor, but I would be looking for some serious guidance and direction about this if I had walked into a liquor store yesterday planning to drink.