LadyBug66

Today is one month alcohol free! It feels great. I have been very private about my quitting drinking because I didn't want to explain or feel like people were waiting for me to fail. Well, this weekend I will be on a retreat that I help put on. Me and the other two people that put this on always have a drink together the last night and toast to us for the hard work and the success of the weekend. I feel that if I don't partake in the toast then I will have broken a 10 year tradition but if I partake then I lose. I've been playing it in my mind on ways to fake it! LOL I'm pretty stressed about this. I know I wont drink too much because it's one drink and it's wine.... I hate wine........ I just want to be completely alcohol free...... It's an everything or nothing kinda thing for me. Anyway.......... thoughts and suggestions would be soooo welcomed.

neferkamichael

LadyBug66, Today is one month alcohol free! You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. Early in my sobriety I worried about thing you've just written ,but tradition went the same way as the booze did, out of my life. I think about me first these days. Rootin for ya.

doggonecarl

Congrats on a month.

You've gone a month without telling anyone about your decision. Now's your chance. You can't risk faking a toast, you definately can't risk drinking a toast. So you tell the people who you are working this retreat with that the tradition of the last night toast is important to you, but that you are launching a new tradition...your sobriety, and you'd appreciate their support.

Please don't project your thoughts about the situation onto the other two people. As far as you know, you are the only one that is placing such importance on an alcoholic toast.

EndGameNYC

When I drank after twenty five years, I broke a twenty-five year tradition of living a good and sober life.

When I put down the drink after a three-year relapse, I broke a three-year tradition of killing myself, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly.

realizingtruth

CONGRATS, Lady! PLEASE don't pick up that glass! You have so much to be proud of in accomplishing this month! It would probably break your heart to have it reversed so quickly. Stay strong!

KyrieEleison

One of the gifts of sobriety is that we exchange old ideas for new.

That we would "always" have to drink on certain occasions is an old idea that is now replaced with the new idea that we are non drinkers.

We know we must never drink.

Attaching ourselves to old ideas, and false beliefs delude our real purpose which is to live and be of service to eachother. To love and to live.

We don't have to hurt ourselves anymore.

We never have to take another drink.

We have grasped and developed a new way of living.

Thank You God

Bluebird1927

I drank at a wedding last weekend to "keep up tradition" and have regretted it ever since. By all means enjoy the weekend but please don't spoil your months sobriety to please others. You're quitting for yourself so please be a little bit selfish :-)

huntingtontx

I would suggest that no one but you really cares if you drink. Bring a bottle of grape juice to fill your glass for the toast and just say, " I no longer drink." End of story. I have been to drinking parties many times where there is someone for reasons of their own not drinking. I brought green tea to a party I was at, and no one even asked me why I was not drinking. I think we think more about it then others do. Have a great time and you are doing great. I am proud of you. One month is AWESOME.

LadyBug66

Thank you thank you thank you! I will not make the toast with wine. I will just say.... I'm not drinking today but I want to toast with my club soda with a splash of lime.

Soberpotamus

Now's the ultimate opportunity for your actions to become congruent with your decisions, values and lifestyle, LadyBug

I vote for authenticity in this situation... let them know this toast isn't healthy for you anymore, nor is it something you'd be ok with doing if it involves alcohol.

fini

LadyBug,

you're right about the "everything or nothing".
can't be sober and have a drink, too.
breaking a ten-year tradition with friends to stay sober....welll worth the discomfort.
this is the kind of thing people mean when they're talking about sobriety involving some changes.
if you want to be sober, put staying sober first and do what it takes.

congratulations on starting your second sober month!
you can do this; keep going

john44

I think you answered your own question.

LadyBug66

You are right John. When I re-read my post I thought the same thing.
When I was drinking, being at a function where there is alcohol was not a big deal (if I got home before I made a fool out of myself) now it seems that alcohol is in involved in everything. The TV shows, our work dinners, bbq's.... just everything! My fridge in my garage still has the remnants of what was left from the last binge. I had forgotten until yesterday when I went to put some bottled water in there. I need to throw it out. #@!rambling#@! LOL

Dee74

Start a new tradition

I had a tradition of drinking and passing out, falling over missing appointments, being sick, embarrassing myself...

some traditions need to be put to rest.

D