GracieLou

Dear bigsombrero, Your wish is my command. Love, Karma

oak

Oh GracieLou, that is so sweet. (I cannot believe a Denny's meal actually looks good.)

I can understand wanting acknowledgement for doing good things. It is very cool that you cleaned around the mailboxes at your apartment. Reminds me of a neighbor (when I was young) who cleared the debris around the street's storm drains right before it rained.

You do technically get a free meal at Denny's on your birthday. I hope that is soon! (or else your arm is going to get mighty tired!)

john44

What a cool and funny post to wake up to! Put a smile on my face as I sit here with my morning coffee.

Gratitude. Practicing gratitude is my answer to combatting these kinds of feelings as they arise.

Thanks for starting my day out with a smile.

High five!

caboblanco

I know this is just a fleeting thought for you sombrero. I didn't mean to be tooting my own horn on my previous post. I didn't know Denny's was still around. Grand slam breakfast. I'll take one too thanks

1undone

I haven't read all the replies here but THANK YOU for the laugh!!!!!

With your sense of humor you will Bo okay. Did you have one while drunk? Probably thought you did but this is real stuff! Sorry no one has thrown you a parade but we think you are great!!!!!!

GroundhogDay

Maybe a goal of some type would help. My goal is to write a novel. Also, have you thought about getting back into dating and finding a significant other?

jkb

bigsombrero-

Thanks for the rant. I feel the same way sometimes. Good to know I am not alone in this.

Jess

DoubleBarrel

Its funny that as addicts, we expect to be rewarded when we finally behave in a manner befitting society and the human race.
Something the rest of the population has been doing all along.

GracieLou

The rest of the population?, lets not go wild with it now..lol

Many may not drink but that does not mean they walk around with their street clean. I know LOTS of people that feel, for real, that the world owes them a favor and they never drank or did drugs. That entitlement cloud hangs over many people.

DoubleBarrel

I am not overly concerned with other peoples deficiencies.

From my perspective, most people try at various levels to take care of themselves and others, work at their jobs, they are responsible, pay bills, brush their teeth, don't drink to excess if at all, etc.

The fact that we literally demand a medal for acting like this is pretty funny stuff.

Sasha4

I think the last time I had breakfast at Denny's was when I was about 7 years old.
I would love to go to for breakfast at Denny's with you Sam.
I'll even pay!

xxxx

GracieLou

While the OP was making light, I agree some do want at the very least acknowledgement for their hard work in recovery. I think many are looking for it from their family and friends. They want that "Atta boy" slap on the back. I don't feel there is anything wrong with it and in fact it does make me smile when someone tells me how great I am doing. But expecting it or looking for it can be detrimental to recovery. This is where "Expectations are just premeditated resentments" can come into play.

What I personally have come to embrace is the feeling of being grateful. I get this from helping others. This is my reward. I never thought in a million years that five months ago I would be helping others. I could not even help myself, yet here I am.

DoubleBarrel

Oh yeah, I want acknowledgement too.

But I think its detrimental to get on my high horse and be like "look at me!"

Just for doing the right thing. When clearly I haven't for my entire adult life.

Yes, getting sober, and staying is sober is hard work, and we all deserve kudos for staying on track.

That being said, I just reached a year, and not a word from anyone in my family. I would feel ridiculous expecting them to be like, hey Dad, way to not get drunk and **** up any MORE of my childhood!

I just need to remain humble to stay in the right mindset. YMMV.

ZoeM

Bigsombrero - I was happily sitting on the bus today, after food shopping in town. Nothing major going on and a bus full of people.
Out of nowhere, I remembered your 'burp in a dust storm' comment on another post.
The grin that spread over my face was embarrassing. I was trying SO hard not to laugh that tears sprung into my eyes. Boy was I relieved to get off that bus. They must have thought I was nuts!
Thanks for cheering me up this week, even if it was by accident lol

longbeachone

Funny, and heck yeah, want to see a great big billboard all lit up saying "Longbeachone is the Worlds Greatest Person" when I drive down the 405.

There's an old saying..."Virtue is its own reward". It sounds old fashioned, like some very old, tall, skinny guy on a pulpit should be spitting it at you with a nasty glare. But when I really think about what it says, I guess it means that when I do something right, something that takes a bit of sacrifice and elbow grease, then I can walk away satisfied, free from guilt, knowing I did my best, and that IS a pretty good reward.

When people say "You need to get sober for YOU, not for anyone else", I think it follows that we need to enjoy the fruits of our sobriety for ourselves first too. "I made my bed" doesn't mean I deserve a medal, but it does mean that when I walk into my bedroom and it looks neat and nice, then I should feel pretty good about it. Same with cleaning a common area...it's for my enjoyment first and foremost. It's so foreign for many of us to feel great about ourselves, our accomplishments, since we screwed up so bad already. Forget what everyone else has to say, I think that we should all have permission to praise ourselves for our incredibly tough new choices and achievements from now on. An official "Pat Yourself on the Back Day"!