Anoronha

I just cant snap out of this bad funk of feeling worthless on the inside and anxious all the time. Im meeting my sponsor to talk to her tomorrow and it is time to get real and honest with her. I have been hiding what has been really going on from her for awhile because I don't want to disappoint her and her to think I am not working a good program. I also am afraid she will dump me as a sponsee. I have to increase my bipolar meds and it is hard to wait till I see the doctor. I cant get any appointments earlier than September 13th. I just don't want to call anyone and talk to them and just feel crappy. Just needed to vent on here. Anyone have advice on how to get through this? if your bipolar share or even if your not. I have been having thoughts of drinking lately and I had a weird drinking dream last night where I was sniffing whiskey but refused to take a drink of it.

EndGameNYC

Alcoholic or not, we all have an internal struggle with our healthy and unhealthy parts. Sometimes just below the surface, and sometimes way over the top. While drinking, we are ill-equipped to manage these struggles.

Tamerua

My advice Is to lay it all out with your sponsor. That's what she's there for, dump all the crap!

zjw

bi polar disorder and alcoholism are 2 different things. That being said both can manifest in many different ways causing many more problems. Just like a bad diet can lead to obesity and a long list of health issues. So can alcoholism. Think of a house with a leaky pipe that pipe leaks start causing all sorts of damage first hte floors then the walls then mold starts growing carpets are ruined etc... If you stop that leak nothing further gets ruined and you can repair the rest but you cant repair the problems while that leak persists.

The point is a lot of the other issues your having relate very heavily to the drinking etc.. Its normal to have the issues your having considering where your coming from in time they will get better hang in there.

Your sponsor will probably be rather helpful I'd imagine. Before I came to this board I thought i was the only one in the world with the problems i had. I realized i wasnt it and that there where a lot of other folks with the same problem.

A couple folks here even made comments of "oh yeah your so different your so unique your problems ae different etc.." there point was to point out to me that it was totaly ok that i was having the issues i was having its apparently pretty normal for recovering alcoholics.

Anoronha

I am disappointed I couldn't see my sponsor today they changed my work schedule so I had to work all day. I have the day off Thursday so I will stop by the intergroup office and talk to her then. I really desperately need to talk to her about what is going on. Something is not quite right with me I feel burned out and down in the dumps. I just started a new job two months ago.