trent333

Everyone knows that weddings are very tough for newly sober people. There are tons of strong emotions mixed in with social anxiety and celebration. Well I'm just over three months sober now and this wedding which I hadn't been thinking much about until two days before has shaken me up. I'm 22 and my cousin the bride is my age making the crowd lean towards the younger generation. I told my parents I wasn't drinking and all was fine with that. As the night went on more and more drinks flowed and I became more and more disconnected from the people who were on their fourth or fifth drink( obviously). I started getting fidgety at around ten and decided to leave. I felt really bad that I was leaving and most of my family other than my parents were quite surprised. My uncle even asked what was I thinking and I was crazy to leave a place with free booze and dancing. So I left feeling good about my choice to keep my sobriety above anything else. I felt very bad for leaving so early and part of me was screaming inside to tell them all why I needed out of there. I'm fishing for justification for leaving at 10:45. Should I tell the bride privately why I left her wedding so early?

awuh1

Yes

Sudz No More

Yeah, get in touch with her.

trent333

Okay I will.

trent333

Thx that's all I wanted to hear.

longbeachone

I'd wait a bit...unless it was a very intimate wedding, and it was obvious you had cut out, she very probably didn't notice. Wedding days are all about the bride, and why make her think that her day wasn't as wonderful to you as it was to her. Let her memories remain about how beautiful and special it was, not about why you left because weren't comfortable (not that you were wrong...you did exactly the right thing!).

bigsombrero

Hold on a minute. First of all, you don't need to explain anything to anyone. Telling people about your sobriety is your choice. Secondly, 10:45 - that's not "early" by any means! I went to a wedding last month and left right after desert! Sounds like you stayed quite long and should not feel the need to apologize anyway, even if you left at 7pm. Thirdly, was the wedding just this past weekend? If so, do you think you might want to let this whole thing "settle" for a while before you start texting a newly married woman who is probably more concerned about her honeymoon and new husband?

I'd say slow down, you did everything just fine. You don't owe anyone an explanation at all. Congrats on being a sober warrior and you did the right thing.

trent333

Long beach one. She knows I left because I hugged her goodbye. Maybe ill just leave it alone I'm probably over thinking it.

trent333

Bigsombrero that's a good point and ya it happened Saturday. I'm sure she's more than busy enough with the new husband. 10:45 just feels early because before I'd be upset last call is at one.

Jsober

Good for you! You shouldn't feel guilty- you did what was best for you. I agree that you should wait a bit before explaining why you left. That may not even be necessary. Let her enjoy the honeymoon phase and see how things go from there.

In the meantime, don't worry about it. You didn't do anything malicious. Your reasons are your reasons and completely justified.

trent333

Thanks guys ya I won't worry about it so much.

Boleo

That's about the time I leave any social gathering now that I am sober. At first it felt uneasy, but after awhile, I started to see that lots of people leave around that time.

It is now part of what I call my new principles and boundary's.

LadyBlue0527

You did something really hard and you got through it. You should feel so good about it! It does get easier, it really does.

DoubleBarrel

10:45 is a totally acceptable time to leave. The wedding is over, the reception is mostly over, just drinking. Tons of people check out around then, even earlier.

Matter of fact, nothing really good ever happens after that point. People getting drunker, the conversations getting louder and less intelligent, not too cool when you're sober.

Welcome to the club.

LadyBug66

Good job on resisting the temptation to drink at the reception! I hope I can be that strong in that situation! I wouldn't worry about telling the bride why you left. Again, great job!!!

trent333

Ya you've put it into perspective for me thanks for the replies everyone. Over time this will get easier as I get more used to acting differently.

Pedro1234

Better to be remembered as the one that gave the bride a cuddle and politely left that the one that was drunk asleep in the corner or the one that fell over or the one that created a scene etc. Well done on your strength

sunset01

What have you got to feel bad about, you were there to celebrate her big event. You did everything right as far as I can see. If she's upset with you and you feel the need then explain it to her, then do so.... otherwise let it go. Well done for sticking to your sobriety!!!