JustODAAT

These are the situations that are hardest for me: I am traveling, alone, on business. I of course notice the liquor store within walking distance of my hotel. I'm done for the day now; my meetings tomorrow don't start until late morning. There are so many ways I could "get away with it." Working hard to remind myself how much I don't want to drink.

terry9

But YOU would know !!!!! Don't let YOURSELF down xxxxxxx

ChefWolverine

Someone would know, and that someone is you. Be honest with yourself, you have to quit drinking for yourself or it won't work.

zjw

yeah gotta fight that little voice. you'd regret it later anyhow. I have the same issues. one that gets me is the thought of picking up again but hiding it. I never had to hide it when i drank. Having to hide it for me is taking it to a whole new level. But yes that voice tells me "go on just get a little bottle of something and stash it take a sip now and then to take the edge off it'll be fine" one day i hope that voice SHUTS UP! for now i just tune it out.

Serenity1972

Just - Don't let your AV get the best of you. You can beat this. I don't know how early you are in your recovery. Just think about how horrible you will feel tomorrow in your meeting. Hang in there and remember why you came here in the first place. I know it is hard and nobody said it was going to be easy. YOU will KNOW if you pick up that first drink and that is all that matters. Be honest with yourself.

Wishing you well.

visch1

As said above. It will hurt yourself far more than anyone here. And what happens if you pick up and ending up in lets say jail or beat up or............ Remember we need to be honest with ourselves to stay sober. If I don't pick up the first drink I don't have to get sober again! BE WELL

Olive1

Funny, I was just this morning listening to an interview with Robin Williams. He was talking about his relapse a little bit ago. He had twenty years sobriety and he was working on a film in Alaska and he said the same thing.
Nobody would know.
He started with a little airplane bottle. Less than two weeks later he was far worse than when he had stopped originally. Three years later he went back to rehab.

ForMyGirls

I know your pain... I travel upwards of 30+weeks a year. In fact, the same exact thoughts you're having now crept through my head earlier today as it has been a real crappy day (and I'm staying at a hotel with FREE happy hour beer and wine).... I've decided to hit the gym and then then the icecream store instead...

Maybe you should do the same?

FlyerFan

Someone would know. You would. and you would feel guilty as hell if you did. So don't do it.

Ptcapote

I also travel for work about 20-30 weeks per year and most of it is international travel to war zones or former war zones where there is tons of booze and expats but very little in the way of support for sobriety. In the beginning it was not only "no one will ever know" but the added excuse that there was no other support (and I was surrounded by it) so how could I control myself, really?

Asinine. The one time I did give into that voice after six weeks of sobriety was one of the single worst experiences of my life. Thank goodness there was SR and a decent internet connection or who knows if that two-day binge would be over yet. Willing to be it wouldn't.

The "no one will ever know" is the sneaky alcoholic/addict mind at work. Same reason we hide our bottles or our paraphernalia. Shame but maybe also that rush that we think that we're pulling one over on someone else. That fantastically immature, "Haha, you cannot stop me, I'll do as I please!" impulse.

In the end, I have learned, as with most things in life, sobriety is an internal job. All the support, platitudes, entreaties, and threats will never do diddly for you if you're not willing to change yourself as well.

So I'm not screwing anyone in the end but me. I know that now and it keeps me away from the drink or the temptation when no one else is "looking." No point kicking my own a$$...done plenty of that already

Good luck to you!

Boleo

Even more important - your body and brain would know. If you are an alcoholic of my type, you would experience withdrawal and cravings for several days afterwards. In some cases those cravings would be worse than ever.

Nuudawn

Gosh your post reminds me of "Flight" which I just watched yesterday..and the hotel room mini bar scene. Yikes. As others have said ..it's the you in that room that is most important. The damage breaking commitments to ourselves is soul and esteem destroying. Wherever you go, there you are. You are the one who has to live with you. I shudder to think what I will do to me should I succumb to relapse. It would be really ugly. I'm a pro at kicking the sh*t outta myself.

FBL

I could go out and get a beer any time I wanted to...the fact that I DON'T want to is what makes me happy these days

Outdoorsman

What matters most is that you would know!

afloatsober

Fella, remember where it takes you. One day you may not get back.... Be kind to yourself, leave the cork in the bottle and live.

freshstart57

I look at a drink and say I can have it, or, I can have my life as I have chosen it, but I cannot have both. It is not a matter of who knows, or tricking myself, or any other of that AV cr@p. It is an extremely simple choice.

RobbyRobot

You know, these situations don't have to remain the hardest for you. In fact, sooner or later you'll need to resolve these kind of challenges without struggling because the struggling actually indicates you're being ambivalent in your sobriety, and addiction ambivalence is not a great place to be for anyone.

I'm thinking you've sometimes already in your past have drank while struggling with your ambivalence?

When we need to earnestly remind ourselves to not drink, and this effort feels difficult, this becomes an insightful experience to realize it well may be time to tweak and change up ourselves into a better real-time experience that matches better with our new life-style.

Perhaps some changing is needed to help you get past your doubts?

Spinach

You could.
Do you remember how it goes !
How much better are you going to feel knowing that you didn't for all the right reasons ,and for those who believe in the AV you'll have got the upper hand there as well.
Keep going and congratulations.
John.

collinsmi

Weren't a lot of the original AAs businesspeople? It can be done. They would travel and back then there were almost no meetings anywhere.