BenPgh

I have no desire to drink for weeks, and then all of a sudden I get the sudden urge to drink, so I recently started treatment at the local alcohol treatment center.

After four treatment meetings, I seem to want to drink more often than before I started treatment. I have a history of panic attacks, and I have difficulty thinking clearly after group therapy.

I am kind of afraid to attend the alcoholics anonymous meetings because I am thinking that the meetings may make me want to drink even more. At first I thought I wouldn't quit drinking entirely, and just work on trying not to binge. However, I feel that I may have to quit drinking entirely.

Has anyone ever had an experience like this? Also, does anyone have any advice on complete abstinence?

bitmap

I am still early in this journey, but there times when I have been to AA meetings and also left with the desire to have a drink. I think, for me, it because there was such a focus on what happened when drinking that the bad parts just kinda faded out for me...

tomsteve

what I found out is it had nothing to do with meetings making me want to drink. it was the disease of alcoholism.the craving, compulsion, and obsession.

before long, I saw that nothing made me drink except the disease and my thinking.


for complete abstinence, I kept goin to meetings and worked the program. ben workin pretty good for a few years now.

EndGameNYC

I guess my question is, would your cravings or your desire to drink be less intense and less frequent were you to not be in treatment or stay away from AA meetings?

BenPgh

I haven't been to an AA meeting yet. I am currently in group therapy, and I have noticed the urge to drink more often.

Bubovski

It could happen at an AA meeting and I have heard of it happening.
AA isn't a perfect course in sainthood, and doesn't claim to be.
If it does happen AA cannot be blamed for every aberration.

AA is quite different from medical counselling IMO.
You may find it helpful;essentially we are all on a journey in progress.

hypochondriac

I had the same thing. I came here daily in early recovery and I felt like talking about drinking all the time made me want to drink, but at the same time it reminded me of the reasons not to. Basically everything triggered me in early recovery because I just wanted to drink. It may feel like it happens more if you focus on it but if you completely ignore it there's a good chance you'll just forget you're not supposed to drink. Catch 22 if you ask me. Just because something is difficult doesn't mean we should just walk away from it though. I have never heard of group therapy being damaging, maybe it is best to just stick with it and see how it works out.

RobbyRobot

Group therapy is working as advertised when you can have empathy for whatever is being discussed - and what is being discussed is always something personal to the speakers - and addiction driven people often make use of their addiction to disguise and keep hidden all sorts of skeletons and whatever. Therapy can work to bring all that to the surface.

You mentioned you are initially interested in controlling your binge drinking, and now you are considering quitting altogether?

This kind of situation creates dynamics which are pretty much akin to addiction ambivalence - both wanting to drink and not wanting to drink all at the same time and place.

Do you consider yourself addicted? Or perhaps you believe that a better life will in itself be sufficient to allow you to drink responsibly? Does drinking cause you problems as well, or do you feel that you just need to get your lifestyle changed up for the better?

Just want you to know I'm a recovered alcoholic drug addict. I've both been in and facilitated in group therapy. I've also been successful in AA.

Those panic attacks can more easily be dealt with when living a life style of abstinence is my opinion speaking from my experience.

FeelingGreat

I found that at certain times SR reminded me of drinking too much. On the other hand it's also helped me with reminders of why I don't drink now. I would take a short break from SR until the feelings went away.
Not sure how this relates to your therapy, but hope it helps to know others have had similar experiences.

LadyBlue0527

This is an interesting thread because both I (sober for 76 days) and my daughter (sober from opiates for 19 months) felt this same way. That is, previously.

It took me wanting to get sober for myself to recognize that what tomsteve's quote is stating was true. Previously I would say "I hate AA meetings, it's nothing more than a bunch of drunks sitting around bit&hing about not being able to drink. Now that I think back on it that's what I was hearing because that's how I felt. I was resentful because I couldn't drink. Therefore I was hearing resentment in their voices because that's all that I wanted to hear.

To be fair also, there are many AA meetings and where the format is somewhat the same across the types that exist, I'm sure that in some meetings this could possibly be true. However, after seeking out and attending different meetings I found one and it became my home group. The statement is made before open discussion is allowed that even though you might have had a bad day that shouldn't be the entire message. This is because if you're talking only about the problem then you're not focusing on the solution. That's when I made the decision that this would be my home group. It may take attending different meetings to find the one that works for you.

To be honest too, there were days in extreme early sobriety that I didn't want to go to a meeting or come here because my head was ok with the fact that I wasn't drinking and to attend a meeting or to come here was activating the thought process that I wasn't drinking. However, I can't be more thankful that didn't mean that I could never attend a meeting nor come here. You have to play it day by day. Sobriety is work and what may be doing it for you one day may not be working the next. You have to figure that out and do whatever it is necessary to make it through that day without picking up.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that you find what works for you.

nancylee

AA meetings made me want to drink. I am so sensitive, and I was still very functional, and the stories made me want to hit someone. Child abuse, child neglect, animal abuse. Ugh. I had to stop going. I ended up getting sober with 10 days of inpatient, and then womenforsobriety.org, online. I can ignore painful stories and not have to suck that pain and abuse inside.

Different approaches work for each of us, don't let anyone tell you that AA or WFS or Rational Recovery is the only way. Nonsense! Pick what feels right for you and then WORK IT!
Peace,
Nancy

Lightning Bug

Yes, I relate. I have come out a few timefrom an AA meeting and had an overwhelming desire. My AV tried to kick my ass a couple of times when I said "no no no"

Through experimentation I discovered why. The meetings in which people romanticized drinking are the ones I get desire from. If no one does that and just offers hope and encouragement. I am fine.