The thought of drinking has become a dark place
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
The thought of drinking has become a dark place
Yesterday I was on im chat with a client who is in our state. This is the first time in 75 days (10 weekends) that someone has said the words
"We'll have to go tear it up sometime". (or implied that I should be included in going drinking).
He's talking about coming to the area and getting a bunch of people at the company here to go out.
All of my people around me are aware that I have quit so no one has verbally included me or spoken the words that I should go out and drink.
The old me would have gotten all excited at the prospect of having a reason to drink. However, the feelings that rushed into me when he expressed that thought were so dark.
The term "drinking" no longer brings feelings of excitement or contentment. It scares me and thoughts of the person I was when I did drink come flooding into my head and it's not pretty.
I am slowly realizing that drinking had nothing to do with "going out with friends and having a good time". It was an excuse to pour alcohol down my throat and nothing more. I couldn't have cared less if they were there or not.
Sad thought but I'm glad that my way of thinking about going out has changed.
"We'll have to go tear it up sometime". (or implied that I should be included in going drinking).
He's talking about coming to the area and getting a bunch of people at the company here to go out.
All of my people around me are aware that I have quit so no one has verbally included me or spoken the words that I should go out and drink.
The old me would have gotten all excited at the prospect of having a reason to drink. However, the feelings that rushed into me when he expressed that thought were so dark.
The term "drinking" no longer brings feelings of excitement or contentment. It scares me and thoughts of the person I was when I did drink come flooding into my head and it's not pretty.
I am slowly realizing that drinking had nothing to do with "going out with friends and having a good time". It was an excuse to pour alcohol down my throat and nothing more. I couldn't have cared less if they were there or not.
Sad thought but I'm glad that my way of thinking about going out has changed.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
At least you are sober and your ways of thinking have changed. Congrats to you.
I know there will be many temptations for me as I begin my journey of recovery. I just pray I have enough strength to change my thinking and remain sober.
I know there will be many temptations for me as I begin my journey of recovery. I just pray I have enough strength to change my thinking and remain sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Hi. "The term "drinking" no longer brings feelings of excitement or contentment. It scares me and thoughts of the person I was when I did drink come flooding into my head and it's not pretty.."
Congratulations that is what "REMEMBER WHEN" does for me now, I stopped Romanizing something that wasn't. BE WELL
Congratulations that is what "REMEMBER WHEN" does for me now, I stopped Romanizing something that wasn't. BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: US
Posts: 637
Great post, LadyBlue. And, as you wrote, I now have a negative view of my use of alcohol. This was never the case prior to stopping which was only 7 months ago. I abused alcohol for ~30 years. It's hard to believe I never thought to stop drinking to see if life would be better. A very nasty drug that alcohol. Good riddance.
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