Booze
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Walton on Thames
Posts: 1
Booze
Drink has totally distroyed my life has lost me my family and kids and if I am not careful will cost me my new relationship.
Anything drives me to drink, problems at work, meeting people general stress.
I suppose its my excuse to drink. I cant just have a couple have to have more and more and make excuses for drinking.
Am struggling to cope as history is repeating itself again. Have tried AA but didnt work Just dont know what to do???
Anything drives me to drink, problems at work, meeting people general stress.
I suppose its my excuse to drink. I cant just have a couple have to have more and more and make excuses for drinking.
Am struggling to cope as history is repeating itself again. Have tried AA but didnt work Just dont know what to do???
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Hi and welcome. I noticed myself saying "oh bad day at work, I deserve a drink". "Someone was mean to me, I deserve a drink". The main thing I had to change was my thinking. To view drinking as bad and negative, not a reward. With not drinking being the reward. Stick around here, you will see many others have felt the exact same way. I love sobriety. It makes me feel good and I can feel good about it. Come to the chatroom and talk in real-time. It's a great community here.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
AA didn't work for me either, until I committed to doing the work. What this meant was finding a sponsor to guide me through the Big Book Twelve Steps. Going to Big Book Studies and Step Meetings instead of Beginner's and Topic Meetings. Being honest with myself and cleaning up the wreckage of my past. Being open to the idea that there is a power in the universe that is greater than I am, and that this force could help restore my sanity. Only by doing the work. Even with all that, there is still no guarantee that someone will stay sober. It's a leap of faith, based on the belief that there is something better for us in life than dying slowly from alcoholism. AA is not magic, and God doesn't grant favors.
When I was only going to meetings, my misery increased and my cravings were blowing up the wisps of sanity I clung to. Everything got worse. In AA, we often hear "Don't drink, and go to meetings." And, "Meeting-makers make it." Not even close. People who've managed to achieve sobriety in AA would amend that first sentiment to include, "Don't drink, go to meetings, and change your whole effing life." And what do "meeting-makers" make? They make meetings, and little else.
AA is not for everyone. I get that. Many people here have gotten sober without it, but very few people have remained sober by doing it on their own. Working for many years in the field, I know of a number of other ways to get sober at my fingertips. None of which worked for me.
Whatever way you choose to get sober, you're doing yourself a tremendous disfavor by attempting to do it on your own. If all you do is participate in the fellowship in AA, that's a start. Many people benefit from going to enough meetings to learn that they need to do more in order to achieve sobriety. And many more simply stop going because nothing gets better quickly enough.
Leave yourself open to getting the help you need to get sober. You don't have to do this alone.
When I was only going to meetings, my misery increased and my cravings were blowing up the wisps of sanity I clung to. Everything got worse. In AA, we often hear "Don't drink, and go to meetings." And, "Meeting-makers make it." Not even close. People who've managed to achieve sobriety in AA would amend that first sentiment to include, "Don't drink, go to meetings, and change your whole effing life." And what do "meeting-makers" make? They make meetings, and little else.
AA is not for everyone. I get that. Many people here have gotten sober without it, but very few people have remained sober by doing it on their own. Working for many years in the field, I know of a number of other ways to get sober at my fingertips. None of which worked for me.
Whatever way you choose to get sober, you're doing yourself a tremendous disfavor by attempting to do it on your own. If all you do is participate in the fellowship in AA, that's a start. Many people benefit from going to enough meetings to learn that they need to do more in order to achieve sobriety. And many more simply stop going because nothing gets better quickly enough.
Leave yourself open to getting the help you need to get sober. You don't have to do this alone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: England
Posts: 70
Perhaps it would help getting some advice from your doctor -that's who sent me off on my road to recovery. so glad I asked get her to help me xx and tomorrow is a bit of a milestone -- 800 days tomorrow - you need to accept help and chat here and get helpful advice from all of us who are going through the same thing . There is no denying that it is hard work xx but with help and support it is easier xxxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Lofty 
There are lots of alternatives to AA, many of which you can find information about here in the secular connections forum. Have a look into AVRT or SMART recovery. Unfortunately there are not as many SMART meetings as AA but I am sure they will increase with time. It might be worthwhile doing a google search on local alcohol addiction agencies in your area as many of them run support groups which are not listed.
I am sorry you are struggling now and even though at times it seems hopeless you can recover. I never thought I would be able to stop drinking but with the support of people here and picking bits up from a few different recovery methods has made it possible for me. It take time and effort sometimes, and unfortunately we often wait til crisis point before we even attempt it but I am sure you will find some hope here x
There are lots of alternatives to AA, many of which you can find information about here in the secular connections forum. Have a look into AVRT or SMART recovery. Unfortunately there are not as many SMART meetings as AA but I am sure they will increase with time. It might be worthwhile doing a google search on local alcohol addiction agencies in your area as many of them run support groups which are not listed.
I am sorry you are struggling now and even though at times it seems hopeless you can recover. I never thought I would be able to stop drinking but with the support of people here and picking bits up from a few different recovery methods has made it possible for me. It take time and effort sometimes, and unfortunately we often wait til crisis point before we even attempt it but I am sure you will find some hope here x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
Hi Lofty,
Welcome to SR. This is a great Forum and has been indispensable in my recovery of the last 10 months. You will find a world of information and support here.
I can't say much more than EndGameNYC. You have tried AA. What happened? Did you go to one meeting and decide "this is a mugs game" or did you give it a serious crack?
Making the change for me was the hardest thing in my life but here I am like so many others sober after more than 300 days and had little compulsion or desire to drink since admitting I was powerless over alcohol and that my life was unmanageable as a result. I came to realize that I had an illness that was physical, mental and spiritual in nature and only a power greater than myself or anyone I know could bring me out of it. I found Faith and it hit me hard. I was at the point like yourself of losing everything.
There are plenty of alternatives to AA as Hypochondriac points out. I don't believe there is one cut and dry method that works for everyone. I have my own strategies that support my recovery including the 12 Steps and many other sources. I take what I need that works for me and leave the rest. What works for you will become apparent and will evolve and change over time as you change. Its a journey of discovery and you will only regret that you had not found it earlier, but even the notion of regret will fade as the past and future will not seem so important. The rewards are well worth the effort. This morning I woke up clear headed and optimistic, I had a quiet moment of prayer and gratitude. I have my family, my career, my health and sanity and the next 24 hours. You can do it, at this point you are close to rock bottom and need to take the next step.
Welcome to SR. This is a great Forum and has been indispensable in my recovery of the last 10 months. You will find a world of information and support here.
I can't say much more than EndGameNYC. You have tried AA. What happened? Did you go to one meeting and decide "this is a mugs game" or did you give it a serious crack?
Making the change for me was the hardest thing in my life but here I am like so many others sober after more than 300 days and had little compulsion or desire to drink since admitting I was powerless over alcohol and that my life was unmanageable as a result. I came to realize that I had an illness that was physical, mental and spiritual in nature and only a power greater than myself or anyone I know could bring me out of it. I found Faith and it hit me hard. I was at the point like yourself of losing everything.
There are plenty of alternatives to AA as Hypochondriac points out. I don't believe there is one cut and dry method that works for everyone. I have my own strategies that support my recovery including the 12 Steps and many other sources. I take what I need that works for me and leave the rest. What works for you will become apparent and will evolve and change over time as you change. Its a journey of discovery and you will only regret that you had not found it earlier, but even the notion of regret will fade as the past and future will not seem so important. The rewards are well worth the effort. This morning I woke up clear headed and optimistic, I had a quiet moment of prayer and gratitude. I have my family, my career, my health and sanity and the next 24 hours. You can do it, at this point you are close to rock bottom and need to take the next step.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Lofty!
I'm so sorry this disease has taken so much from you but I'm glad you reached out today..... it's not easy to admit we have a problem and need help. I drank over stress, over bad feelings, over good feelings, and everything in between. It's a miserable way to live that just gets worse over time.
I found a lot of hope and support here and I know you will, too.
I'm so sorry this disease has taken so much from you but I'm glad you reached out today..... it's not easy to admit we have a problem and need help. I drank over stress, over bad feelings, over good feelings, and everything in between. It's a miserable way to live that just gets worse over time.
I found a lot of hope and support here and I know you will, too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I had issues coping its probably the main reason i drank. I'm 2 years sober but still have issues coping but lifes a lot easier. Like you it was the same thing. good day time for a drink bad day time for a drink holiday time for a drink sunday time for a drink monday time for a drink
it didnt matter it was always time for a drink. I dont even know why i had to honor it with an excuse anymore. I shoulda just been like Oh i'm an alcholic time for my daily addiction fix least i woulda been more honest with myself.
Its good you realize the pattern. Now you gotta change it. It gets easier people here can help.
I wish I would have found this place on day one instead of a year into it. Would have made my life so much easier. But on day one and probably day 350 I still felt I didnt have a drinking problem. Boy was I wrong.
it didnt matter it was always time for a drink. I dont even know why i had to honor it with an excuse anymore. I shoulda just been like Oh i'm an alcholic time for my daily addiction fix least i woulda been more honest with myself.
Its good you realize the pattern. Now you gotta change it. It gets easier people here can help.
I wish I would have found this place on day one instead of a year into it. Would have made my life so much easier. But on day one and probably day 350 I still felt I didnt have a drinking problem. Boy was I wrong.
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