alangolding25

Hello people.

Im a newbie here.
But after reading a lot of posts here it seems like a place where I could gain experience and/or advice from others.

Im a 30 year old male. A little overweight. I do exercise 2-3 times a week. Im originally Irish now living in Canada.

For many years now I have been suffering from panic attacks. I have a fear of dying and I get horrible images in my head that im all of a sudden going to have a heart attack. For most of it I learned about it, gradually over time began to handle it by myself and it was manageable. It would be especially bad a day after drinking (nervous system in tatters after alcohol intake).


Over the past year I have had them come back on again. Lately I have been using alcohol as a means for me to manage it and relax me. Not what I should be doing. I havent received any help over the anxiety disorder.

In terms of my alcohol intake. I have grown up in a society where getting absolutely hammered 2-3 nights a week is a normal way of life.
Now that im 30 I dont do that anymore. THese days i get drunk about once a week. However I do have the occasional 1 or 2 drinks during the week too if im feeling stressed or overwhelmed with anxiety.

Problems that have developed over the past couple of years because of my alcohol intake amount in any given night is, peeing the bed. Not always happens but when i drink a lot in a short space of time I pee the bed. I never use to. I dont understand why its happening now. Its embarrassing.
I have a bad habit of drinking excessively and fast. Once I get buzzed I just start hammering them, and fast, I blackout and dont remember the rest of the night. Why I do this? I do not know either?

I am worried about my lifestyle (alcohol) and wondering do any of you have any advice for me or any reasons why I a) wet the bed or b) feel the need to absolutely hammered drunk when I do go out that one night a week.


Overall im generally worried about what its doing to my health because of it.
Thank you for taking the time to read this long winded message and I greatly appreciate any feedback.

zjw

I peed in the closet. I peed on the tv. I peed on the bathroom scale I peed on the bathroom floor. I barfed all over my wife. I barfed all over the wall. I slipped and fell in my own barf. I had panic attacks galore. and horrible anxiety. I tried a lot of things refuseing to think my drinking was an issue. In the end i decided to quit drinking as i was at my wits end with the panic attacks. I'd be afraid to leave the house that i'd have a heart attack while driving and kill someone else inadvertantly.

Once i quit the panic subsided. The anxiety took some time but I'm able to manage it now and my depression I'm also able to manage. Its been a long tough road.

Like you I drank the first few fast to get the buzz going then I cranked them back I prefered to be as hammered as possible as fast as possible and then maintain that level till i passed out.

My thinking is if you continue to drink your going to continue to have these issues. It will probably get worse. and generally as it gets worse we tend to up our intake of booze to help medicate it but it only makes it worse yet.

Eventually your having vodka on your cheerios with a vodka and orange juice for breakfast wonder wtf you even got out of bed that day.

alangolding25

thanks for your openness and honesty.

Its a horrible feeling alright. Ive thought about giving it up. But then I think im not that bad and that what im doing is normal etc.

My panic attacks were to the point i had called ambulances for myself over 6 times telling them I was having a heart attack. As soon as the incling of a panic attack comes on I instantly think, where is the closest beer store, sometimes id pack a bottle of wine in my bag just in case, that actually makes me relaxed knowing its there if I need it.
I played soccer two weeks ago. the day after a night out. i was already feeling anxious. I played the first half of the soccer game. I went back to the car. downed a bottle of red as I was very panicky thinking I was having a heart attack and drove home.

im tired of it.
giving up is that the only solution? Id like to be able to enjoy drinks with friends etc. But id like to be more repsonsible about it and not have to worry about passing out or peeing, or being a panic attack maniac the day after

Shelpy

I will just make a quick reply- alcohol enhances my anxiety and I get panic attacks from hangovers. I havnt drank in a few days now and have been a lot better. I used to always want to wear my sunglasses when talking to people bc of this weird anxiety and I am finding that is subsiding.
Try to quit, atleast for a while...see how you feel.

alangolding25

thanks for your feedback shelpy i might give that a go

Jeni26

Hello and welcome to SR. Good to have you with us.

I can understand that feeling of bewilderment when, after years of drinking, suddenly things start deteriorating fast. I too was a heavy drinker at weekends. To me it was normal to get drunk on a Friday night. Everyone I knew did the same. Gradually though I started noticing really bad consequences to my drinking. I would be hungover all weekend, not able to bounce back like I did when I was younger, I started drinking on the odd night during the week which progressed onto every night, and my behaviour became more and more shameful. I became a person I didn't like.

The thing is once we become addicted to alcohol, we step over a line and we can't go back. There will be many here who have had the same experiences you did.

I would read around and see if you can relate to others here. There is a lot of experience and support on these pages. Best wishes to you.

alangolding25

thanks Jenni ill keep reading around.

Elisabeth888

Have you thought about seeing a doctor about your panic attacks instead of trying to treat them yourself with alcohol? I know I did the same thing for years and it worked to a degree, and then it got to the point to where the alcohol was actually CAUSING the panic attacks.

Now I see an addiction therapist and go to AA and I have been sober over nine months. My life is far from perfect, but it is one HELL of a lot better sober.

zjw

I've heard your story before people calling 911 over panic attacks. they give up the booze it goes away. I didnt believe it myself. I scoured the internet trying to figure out what was causign this panic. I thought my lungs where filing with blood and i'd choke on my blood and die and i'd be panicing! The room would spin i'd lay in bed thinking that was it this is the end i'm going to die!. I finally came accross an article that explained what alcohol does in your brain fro a scientific level and went on to say that it could cause anxiety and panic etc..

It was a last resort to give up booze. I didnt even admit i had a drinking problem till i was sober a year. I felt i had panic issues but not drinking issues. In hind site i just had a drinking problem.

I also wanted to drink normaly. Its just not possible. its been tried 23912938123812 times by people like us it just doesnt work the only solution is to not drink. For example some people can eat whatever they want never gain a single pound. Other people have to watch what they eat. Some people can drink and not have issues. Other people gotta not drink at all. Some people can smoke 3 packs a day and live till there 90 die of old age. Other people end up with cancer at aged 25.

I spent an aweful lot of time thinking this isnt fair how come I cant drink but someone else can! How come I cant eat KFC non stop and not get fat! I thought I had been dealt an unfair deck of cards and maybe i was. But its just the way that it is and i have to work within those boundaries if I want to be happy. I also have a lot going for me that a LOT of other people envy and do not have so I try and focus on that stuff. Instead of wishing I could drink like "normal" people. I learned I"m not normal when it comes to alcohol. I learned that yes I'm an alcoholic and you cant give someone like me booze. For a zillion reaons too.

hcatoni723

I too suffered from crippling panic attacks for 17 years. Had that long of a Xanax habit too. I was put on Paxil for clinical depression and it cured my agoraphobia!! But you cannot drink on Paxil as it will make you violently ill the next day. I'm not saying Paxil is for everyone but I haven't had a panic attack for 20 years. I'm not on Paxil anymore but it definitely was my answer at the time.

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

pinkdog

I use "urge surfing" to manage both my alcohol cravings and panic attacks. It really works for me. Best wishes.

EndGameNYC

You need to see a doctor and then possibly get a referral for a psychiatrist about your panic attacks.

Both drinking and withdrawing from alcohol have long been implicated in panic attacks.

karate

See your doctor ,The meds are a thousand times better than alochol for anxeity .

ALOCHOL IS BAD FOR ANXEITY ,in fact the dang anxeity attcks are what stopped me -i just could not take them anymore ,and my friends say im pretty damn tough ,BUT those broke me down .

I took zoloft for a while and it had some minor side effects ,but it stopped anxeity ,cold .

bigsombrero

I nodded when I read this because I understand this post so well. I would **** out the bedroom window in my 3rd floor apartment. And had such terrible anxiety - being in a crowd or face to face meeting, in any situation, and I was on pins and needles, even drove myself to the hospital once because I thought I was going to have a stroke...

The irregularities in peeing, the terrible anxiety, they go hand in hand with alcohol. In my case I drank heavily in my 20's but had slowed down in my 30's, only to start binging again. And that's when those symptoms really got bad.

Your body can't physically handle this abuse and it's affecting your brain. It sounds like sobriety is the best option, and you must abandon these drinking habits. What sort of plan do you have to get started on your new quest? Sounds like you are pretty uncomfortable right now and would like a change.

tomsteve

i learned that pissin myself while passed out was a sign that my heart was close to stopped.

"But then I think im not that bad and that what im doing is normal etc."
theres nothing normal about it.


"
I am worried about my lifestyle (alcohol) and wondering do any of you have any advice for me or any reasons why I .... b) feel the need to absolutely hammered drunk when I do go out that one night a week. "

could be low self esteem. thinkin too much about what others think of ya and yer opinion of what others think of ya aint that great.

now onto the real question for ya:

yer worried, but do you want to do something about it? do you want to stop drinking?

artsoul

Welcome Alan!

As you can see, you're definitely not alone. I remember the anxiety well, and it was just awful. It becomes a vicious cycle, too, because seems to help relieve the anxiety at first and then turns around and makes it worse.

I didn't want to quit drinking either, but things just kept getting worse. Once I got sober, I was amazed that so many things (including the anxiety) improved right away.

Keep reading and posting. We understand what you're going through!