MattyBoy

Im currently 9.5 weeks without a drink and was certainly riding the pink cloud for that period. I got back into all my old hobbies and interests and have been more socially active than I ever was when drinking. I can honestly say I haven't craved a drink since I stopped...

That is, until today... It's been building up over the last few days but today has been really bad with family dynamics all over the place. My sister who suffered a psychotic breakdown two years ago has been going through some quite severe mood swings these last few days, going from being very proactive in losing weight, findign a job (she has just got her degree) and seeing friends to having aggressive outbursts at family members - mainly me.

I'm an easy target I think because of my alcoholism which she doesnt consider a genuine illness just the result of selfishness and transfers he dissatisfaction of her life on to me. She had to put her degree on hold due to her illness and Ive similaarly had to postpone the taking of my university exams due to my alcoholism but she doesnt show any support to me and just thinks I'm pathetic and need to get out of my comfort zone and get over the whole driniing thing. To be honest I havent even mentioned drinking to my family for well over 6 weeks and have been absolutely comfortable watching them all slugging down copious amounts of G and Ts and pimms.

This is the first time ive felt a genuine craving and its been with me all day. I'm fantasisng drinking tonight and getting out of my head for the evening which I could easily do but the most painful thing is I know deep down that I wont because Im too frightened of setting off the withdrawal syndrome and causing further trouble in the family. I'm extremely anxious and tense right now and not exactly sure why - possibly PAWS - but knowing that realistically Im not gonna go and chug a load of vodka tonight to get relief is quite difficult. I dont want booze and all the pain and misery that comes with it but just SOME form of relief...

peace x

Soberpotamus

Hi MattyBoy,

Are you familiar with Urge Surfing? You probably are, as you've been able to maintain sobriety for 9.5 weeks... you can Google if you want to see how it's done. I've been able to use it successfully. It's just one technique among many...

My husband was finally able to understand the irrationality and even insanity of the addict's craving by going with me to see a presentation called The Broken Brain, which is based on Kevin McCauley's presentation Pleasure Unwoven... it was a more succinct presentation of his longer one. And it even convinced me of the strong evidence for the "disorder" or "disease" concept... and just WHY it can be categorized as such by the AMA. It explained how there is a reinforcement in the brain for things like food, sex, and drugs... and how drugs are incredibly more reinforcing, over and above food and sex... it was enlightening

I suggest you get him to watch Pleasure Unwoven.

And here is something you can show him: AlcoholismFacts

*I posted the above on another thread earlier today, but it might help you and your sister.

MattyBoy

Thanks Jennie! I've been trying to practice mindfulness as best I can but de-conditioning thought processes that you've had for years can take some time. I've also been readin some of eckhart tolle's 'the Power of Now'. If you haven't read it, it's a similar idea based on living solely in the present moment and dis identifying yourself with a false sense of self that your mind has created. I've always had a negative self image and have thus been socially anxious at times but remembering that I am not who my thoughts make me out to be is very helpful.

Soberpotamus

I have read it, yes! I thought it seemed similar to ideas in Buddhism, if not a mashup of Buddhism speckled with bits and pieces of other philosophies and religions. I have both of his books. Ironically, I read them while I was still drinking

Boleo

IMNSHO the pink cloud effect can go on indefinitely. I know it has for me. That being said, I also know I can't afford to rest on my laurels. As long as I keep moving forward, managing my sobriety is above my paygrade.

artsoul

Congrats on your 9+ weeks sober, MattyBoy!

Sounds like you're doing really well and just hit a temporary road block(?).... I think stress can do that to us, as well as PAWS (I didn't really give PAWS much credence until it happened to me).

I hope you can find a way to detach a little bit (or get away) from the family situation. Here's the urge surfing link that SoberJenie mentioned:

The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com (urge surfing)