38 hours w/o a drink but no reason to celebrate
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: mountains of BC, Canada
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38 hours w/o a drink but no reason to celebrate
I had to stop drinking at midnight on the 18th because I was scheduled for surgery on the day of the 19th. I drank right til midnight - you betcha - even nursed the last glass of wine 20 minutes longer than I should have. I think I even licked the rim of the glass after my last sip.
Husband met me at the hospital and after I came out of surgery (was put under full anesthetic) and woke I of course felt too nauseous and groggy to think of much - was was given morphine through IV, a shot of gravol to ease the nausea and 2 extra strength T3 with codeine to ease the pain at the time I left the hospital about five hours post op. At the point the nausea relented I was thinking oh SHOOT - my husband will likely not be too good with me asking for one of the beers in the fridge or a glass of the wine sitting unopened on top.... And then the T3's kicked in and I felt like thanks to those I could likely be fine with no drink. As a matter of fact - I then felt no desire for one and even though I knew it was the drugs I wished I could always have that feeling of "Meh - who cares if I have a drink" and honestly not care. It was the drugs.
Until he came to check on me a few house later - in bed late evening last night reading all about recovery, treatment etc. and he walked in and kissed me with beer on his breath. I turned away so he would kiss my cheek and he said "what?!". I told him that I was sorry I just didn't want to smell the beer. He said "sorry, pfft" in a grouchy kind of way and left the room and cracked the next one (our bedroom is main floor so you hear everything). Another moment of sad realization. That I lay there thinking " the Tylenol has worn off and the pain is quite uncomfortable but I would skip the pain meds if he would have offered me that other beer. The surgery was on my girly bits BTW so the pain is very real and very legit.
Woke this morning and the pain was intense so I took my morning dose - I have NOT abused pills before and have been prescribed T3's four years ago when I was as alcoholic as I am today for another surgery. I still had some from that script in the cupboard and have never been tempted to use them. I don't honestly like the fogginess and instant fatigue of the pills. I feel like the pills are getting me through not drinking at the moment but I do have legitimate pain and I am considering NOT taking them just so I can downplay my pain and go out for a drink with a girlfriend - it is her birthday and she doesn't know I have a problem with alcohol. I ran it by my husband and he said "oh sure - what time do yo want to go and I can be back from dirt biking"
The alcohol elephant in the room is thankfully invisible. I guess he's not thinking about treatment for me.
Think I'll stay home and get by on pills tonight(it really does hurt anyways and they knock me out cold!!!!) and hope he doesn't kiss me when he comes home from dirt biking if he had beers(which he will). I likely won't need the pills in the next Amy or so and by then he is back to work and I will be back to the drink.
Makes me sad to know it but I am sick of fighting it in the way I have tried and not being supported in trying the way I want to.
Yup - it's a "poor me" moment lol
Husband met me at the hospital and after I came out of surgery (was put under full anesthetic) and woke I of course felt too nauseous and groggy to think of much - was was given morphine through IV, a shot of gravol to ease the nausea and 2 extra strength T3 with codeine to ease the pain at the time I left the hospital about five hours post op. At the point the nausea relented I was thinking oh SHOOT - my husband will likely not be too good with me asking for one of the beers in the fridge or a glass of the wine sitting unopened on top.... And then the T3's kicked in and I felt like thanks to those I could likely be fine with no drink. As a matter of fact - I then felt no desire for one and even though I knew it was the drugs I wished I could always have that feeling of "Meh - who cares if I have a drink" and honestly not care. It was the drugs.
Until he came to check on me a few house later - in bed late evening last night reading all about recovery, treatment etc. and he walked in and kissed me with beer on his breath. I turned away so he would kiss my cheek and he said "what?!". I told him that I was sorry I just didn't want to smell the beer. He said "sorry, pfft" in a grouchy kind of way and left the room and cracked the next one (our bedroom is main floor so you hear everything). Another moment of sad realization. That I lay there thinking " the Tylenol has worn off and the pain is quite uncomfortable but I would skip the pain meds if he would have offered me that other beer. The surgery was on my girly bits BTW so the pain is very real and very legit.
Woke this morning and the pain was intense so I took my morning dose - I have NOT abused pills before and have been prescribed T3's four years ago when I was as alcoholic as I am today for another surgery. I still had some from that script in the cupboard and have never been tempted to use them. I don't honestly like the fogginess and instant fatigue of the pills. I feel like the pills are getting me through not drinking at the moment but I do have legitimate pain and I am considering NOT taking them just so I can downplay my pain and go out for a drink with a girlfriend - it is her birthday and she doesn't know I have a problem with alcohol. I ran it by my husband and he said "oh sure - what time do yo want to go and I can be back from dirt biking"
The alcohol elephant in the room is thankfully invisible. I guess he's not thinking about treatment for me.
Think I'll stay home and get by on pills tonight(it really does hurt anyways and they knock me out cold!!!!) and hope he doesn't kiss me when he comes home from dirt biking if he had beers(which he will). I likely won't need the pills in the next Amy or so and by then he is back to work and I will be back to the drink.
Makes me sad to know it but I am sick of fighting it in the way I have tried and not being supported in trying the way I want to.
Yup - it's a "poor me" moment lol
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