FenwayFaithful

I'm not trying to sound like a Masshole here, which is hard because I so am a Masshole, it's not my fault haha I was born and raised in Southie it's in my blood!

Anyway, I think it's hard to understand the culture of sports here. It's like a religion. Now I am a die hard Red Sox fan, absolute Die Hard fan. I suppose the Bruin's too but nothing compares to the Red Sox for me, just wanted to put that out there. Anyway tho point is sports here are a big deal, play off series, supporting our teams, supporting of city, especially after what the Marathon is extremely important here.

It means a lot to me, to us, to the whole city of Boston. When a run is made or a goal is scored the whole crowed is on their feet, you get a real sense of belonging. We are passionate as hell. We are passionate to a default.

And there is nothing NOTHING like going to a game at Fenway or The Garden, but unless you happen to be rich as hell that isn't something you get to do often--the next best thing is a Boston sports bar.

So I know, I know you are all looking at me and thinking this was about the bar but it wasn't. If my friends were just going clubbing or on a bar crawl or something there's not way in Hell I would go. Even after the game was over I told my friends I was leaving because then it just became about drinking. Anyone who wanted a ride came with me. So it REALLY was just about going down and watching the game.

I mean maybe I am justifying I don't feel like I am but alcoholism is a tricky ******* that makes you believe your own lies like the ever famous "Oh but this time will be different!" "This time I can use/drink without it getting out of control!" Never works like that tho. And I've ALWAYS been dangerously good at talking myself into and out of different things. But I mean I DID stay sober that day and I am staying sober today. It's One Day at a Time right? Just because I tackled that day doesn't mean it'll be so easy next time

I know it was a risk tho, even so. Being at a scene like that but I just wanted to make it clear that this was Boston Girl thinking more than it was an alcoholic talking.

I discussed it with my therapist and we did talk a lot about the feelings is brought up for me--the denial is ignited. The "I did it so easily and not a single person thought I could so maybe I'm not an alcoholic" kind of thoughts and really she just made me come to terms with what I already knew, that I am in fact an alcoholic that as soon as I pick up a drink that switch is flipped in my brain as MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE there is NO moderation. My brain isn't wired that way. It's all or nothing.


I'm really starting to come to terms with that. And I like that I can have fun sober. I like that I'm starting to realize more and more that alcohol added nothing to me life. I also wanna end with a quote I saw on Facebook earlier that describes so well why I have a new attitude, this is what I've finally come to terms with. This was on the page "Recovery and Hope" on FB if you haven't "liked" it yet I suggest you do they have some really great stuff!

"I drank for happiness and became unhappy. I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank for sociability and became argumentative. I drank for sophistication and became obnoxious. I drank for friendship and made enemies. I drank for sleep and woke up tired. I drank for strength and felt weak. I drank for relaxation and got the shakes. I drank for courage and became afraid. I drank for confidence and became doubtful. I drank to make conversation easier and slurred my speech. I drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell."- Author Unknown

Justfor1

I grew up on the North side near Wrigley Field so I kinda understand. I use to love watching the Cubs play & to me it's more about baseball than drinking. Of course, lots of drinking goes on there but I can go to a game for the right reason.

Sudz No More

The last time I went to a game I was still drinking and I only had one. Why? It was too damn expensive, a pain in the ass to wait in a long line, hard to hold it in those little chairs and then you have to get up to pee 45 minutes later.

So for me, going to a game now would be easy to avoid drinking because I always hated feeling dependent on it in a difficult setting. Going to a bar to watch though? That would be really tough I have to admit I would fear for my sobriety and it would ruin my enjoyment. I would likely not be able to stop thinking about having one and I wouldn't have fun as a result.

Red Sox Hats off to you Fenway for doing something you like to do and not letting drinking ruin it for you.

Justfor1

Sudz, if the Cubs are ever in the World Series though I could find myself with friends watching the game in a bar & drink diet coke. It is a huge deal as I have been a Cubs fan my entire life & there is kinda of a culture (of course a losing one lol) to being a fan. I suspect many Red Sox fans are just like the original poster.

Sudz No More

Kudos to you if you can, for me though I really do think it would ruin my fun by not being able to stop smelling the taps in front of me.

tomsteve

been a tigers fan all my life and havin a great time listening to the game tonight.
found out its not about the atmosphere externally. its an internal thing.

ReadyAndAble

No. Not even close.

And it's not worth making your parents worry, either. Ninety days is awesome, but I erred on the side of caution my first six months or so, and steering clear of bars was Rule No. 1. These days I won't hesitate to catch a band or meet friends in a bar—but at 90 days? No way. I took zero risks during the first several months, and I don't regret a single day of it.

I get that you're a huge fan.... but you and your family are far more important than any game. Again, it's not a close call. Honestly, I think you're hearing more addictive voice than you recognize. It's not just that voice that's telling you that you're not an alcoholic; it's the voice justifying going to the bar in the posts above. It's the voice that's telling you this is a tough decision, when it's really as simple as it gets.

You're doing great. Things are going well for you. My advice: Don't mess with your own success!

bigsombrero

Nice try...but have you ever been to an English Premier League game in Manchester? A high school football game in Texas? A Habs game in Montreal? Friday Night Footy in Perth? Boston's a nice sports town, but it's not unique. Using "I live in BOSTON" as an excuse to hang out at the bars would make Ted Williams' severed head spin around in its frozen cylinder!

tomsteve

i could hear bobby orr sayin,'if ya aint been watchin a bruins game at home and put a fist through yer tv, ya aint a bruins fan."

digdug

So I am definitely a hypocrite. Gotta admit I went to an upscale bar/lounge with my co-workers this evening. I really wanted to hang out with them because I work for a really close knit department and it's great to have conversations that don't involve bitching about clients.

And I had an amazing time. I just said I'm not allowed to drink because of medical reasons, which is 100% true. They all know I was really sick and almost died. I mean, I was out for 7 weeks. My boss even visited me in the hospital. They just don't know it was because of alcohol. So I just drank my tonic and lime. I also knew I could get up and leave at any time if things start becoming uncomfortable.

It was so much fun to be laughing and cracking jokes. I'm sure many people here have felt like they needed alcohol to loosen up and smile around others. I didn't feel like I needed alcohol to have a good time. I didn't even think about it. I had just as much fun sober as everyone else. And I didn't get jealous or anything. I was happy that my co-workers were normal, could have a couple of drinks and not get out of control.

I don't want to sound like I'm rationalizing, but I know my triggers. You don't spend 30 days in rehab without going over them all day long every day. I only drank to excess when I was alone. I think I've been drunk around another human being maybe 2 times in the past 5 years. The big trigger for me is being alone in my apartment with nothing to do. If I was still drinking, I would have declined the invitation to come out tonight in order to drink alone.

All in all, a great night. Best night I've had in months. I don't regret my decision at all but I also know not to push my luck. Just because I was okay tonight doesn't mean I'll be okay in another situation.

Patsfan

Fenway Faithful - I hope you have room in your sports heart for the Pat's!

Caldus

Interesting topic. It got me thinking a lot about how I haven't even stepped into a bar or other such place since I quit 9 months ago. I guess technically I have but it was either with my AA group or with family. But to actually go in to one by myself or with a friend is a much different thing in my mind. I think that today I could safely do it but I would still have to question my own motives before ever doing things like that ... like for one, I'm not a sports fan myself so I don't have that going for me. Next, there are so many other things to do sober that it is not even funny ... does it really have to be in a bar? So, while I could be comfortable with the idea now, 99.9% of the time I shouldn't ever have a reason to go into such a place anyway. So in summary, I would say just examine your motives closely before doing it each time. Fenway, it sounds like you clearly have a passion for sports and in particular the sports environment at that bar. Just be careful though and the very minute you start feeling weird or uncomfortable there, get out! But it doesn't sound like you got to that point anyway.

Hopeworks

It's nice that your friends are so supportive and willing to go with you. Maybe they will give you a place to live and a car too?

Was your addiction difficult for your parents? Did they worry a lot about your well being and have they been supportive of your recovery efforts?

Your focus right now is on your own desire to do what YOU want to do despite the warning bells of common sense and the clear distress it is bringing your loved ones. I am sorry but I call it what it is... selfish. You should honor your parents request... it is a very, very reasonable and wise request.... or move out and live your life as you wish and they will not be aware of exactly what choices you are making on a daily basis.

Sorry to be blunt... but this disease kills and early recovery is a time for extreme caution (not fear.. caution) as your brain is still recovering and there is nothing good that could come out of this experience except a very brief potential evening of enjoying a sporting event... and I am a HUGE fan of a college sports team that has six season tickets and for decades never missed a single game in person all over the Southeast!

It's a game. Your recovery is worth EVERY sacrifice. Your families peace of mind is worth more than a brief good time.

Friends are nice...but they aren't family and when you really, really need help it will be your parents... your family that will be at your side. Show them you appreciate them and their support by kicking back with them and watching the game or a movie or whatever...

Just my opinion... from another perspective.

Johno1967

The other day I got on a plane that was taking myself and 10 others to work on a remote mine site. Along the way we hit bad weather and it got a bit rough. The plane kept below 1000 feet under cloud so the pilot could see the ground and we lost visibility a few times. There was no radar or navigational gear on board and after some hair raising maneuvers he finally turned around and headed back. The pilot looked a bit frazzled on arrival and everyone went straight to a Bar in a hotel the company put us in for the night. Except me that was, I went straight for dinner and bed. In the past I would of used this experience as an excuse to get loaded, now its just like "well that was fun". Made me live in the moment and appreciate life a little bit more.

coraltint

like, like, like! Good stuff, Fenway....keep it up!