Trying to understand what he's going through..
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Pierre, south dakota
Posts: 8
Trying to understand what he's going through..
it's my boyfriend. We don't live together and we have a baby together. Our relationship has been in the rough on account of his drinking and my depression, bad combo. I can tell he feels guilty that I take FULL responsibility for our son but he's been stuck in a routine. He spends half the week recovering and being good. When Thursday comes along, he is instantly ready for loud music, friends and just partying. I'm trying hard to be an understanding and supportive girlfriend. How can I help him? He says he just wants me to be happy around him and be supportive. But this is such an embedded routine that when he see's that it's the weekend he does before he thinks.
A part of me says it could be best to just em braise the time me and our son get with him and when he's partying or drunk, avoid him.
The other part of me is saying if he has no obligations for his son and no matter what he does his girlfriend will stay, what reason does he have to better himself?
Thank you so much for your responses
A part of me says it could be best to just em braise the time me and our son get with him and when he's partying or drunk, avoid him.
The other part of me is saying if he has no obligations for his son and no matter what he does his girlfriend will stay, what reason does he have to better himself?
Thank you so much for your responses
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Al-Anon will help you a lot.
AA would help him a lot.
AA and Al-Anon will help your child a lot.
Never mind looking at what he is going through .. look at what you and your child are going through.
All the best.
Bob R
AA would help him a lot.
AA and Al-Anon will help your child a lot.
Never mind looking at what he is going through .. look at what you and your child are going through.
All the best.
Bob R
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I don't know what to say really. I don't think it's good to let him just drop by when he feels like it and disappear when he likes. As your son grows that will be very damaging to him. It'll be hard for him to believe that he's important to his dad if his father treats him like someone he spends time with when he doesn't have something else going on.
I also don't think it's healthy for you, either. You're worth more than someone who only supports you when it's convenient for him. I don't know you obviously, but given how sweet and caring your post is about this guy who doesn't seem to deserve it, I imagine that's true.
I've been in a lot of very bad, harmful relationships and I know how hard it can be to think about your own needs when you love someone who's in trouble. But this situation doesn't sound like one in which you're being treated the way you should be.
I also don't think it's healthy for you, either. You're worth more than someone who only supports you when it's convenient for him. I don't know you obviously, but given how sweet and caring your post is about this guy who doesn't seem to deserve it, I imagine that's true.
I've been in a lot of very bad, harmful relationships and I know how hard it can be to think about your own needs when you love someone who's in trouble. But this situation doesn't sound like one in which you're being treated the way you should be.
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