JillyJill74

I have been a heavy drinker for about 10 years. I am 38 years old and feel twice my age. I drink every day, at least 10 beers or a jug of wine, not a bottle, but a whole jug. Disgusting to admit. I just passed a mirror in a pair of pjs I haven't wore in a while and I about burst into tears. I have gained so much weight! I can't believe I have done this to myself. This is it. When I wake up tomorrow, it is a new life plan for me. I am giving up this horrible habit and focusing on getting back into shape and into life. No more excuses of poor me, I can't find a job or I'm unsatisfied with my bf or any other nonsense I come up with to sit and drink myself into a living hell everyday. I am going to take back control of my life. I am so happy this forum exists to help me as I make a huge change for the better.

Arpeggioh

This forum is amazing...I'm not a big contributor, but definitely a major user! Inspiration and encouragement abound here, I love this place...

Dee74

Welcome to SR JillyJill - you'll find a lot of support here

D

bigsombrero

Hello Jilly,

I a male who just turned 38, I have been sober 9 months. In my worst days I was drinking very heavily on a daily basis, much like you. I experienced unhealthy looking weight gain. I also felt terrible, from my brain to my guts.

It sounds like quitting alcohol for good might be the best option for you. It worked for me, but it was very hard, and in my case I had severe withdrawl symptoms that could have killed me because I attempted to quit unsupervised.

Rest assured that the weight will come off as well once you quit. I have lost 20 lbs and am back to my lightest weight in years. I have had to even buy new pants, and can actually feel muscle under my belly again!

It begins with quitting and that means getting a plan in place. Have you figured out the best way to get started?

JillyJill74

It's really strange, cause I drink so much, but never wake up craving alcohol or shaking, I can go a few days and not have a drop, like when my fiancé is home. He has no idea the level that I drink, so especially on the weekends, I don't drink much at all. I don't think I will have withdrawals as far as being bedridden. I'm sure I will be irritable for a while, but aren't all girls? Lol Seriously though, my plan is to keep coming here everyday and let my fiancé know that I am quitting so I can have that support. He will be very happy, he is not a drinker per say..maybe three beers on a Sat night. He doesn't understand that three is like a tease to me, I need 12. But I need to get myself looking better and feeling better to make more positive changes in my life. I've just had it.

nandm

I was 35 when I finally reached that jumping off place of knowing I could no longer live my life drinking. Alcohol no longer worked for me and was destroying my life and all those that I cared about.

Your decision to quit drinking is the first step in a new chapter of your life. I encourage you to check out a recovery program as they can be very helpful in the recovery process. It really doesn't matter which one you pick just which ever one you believe will work for you. Personally AA is the one that has worked for me but there are many more out there. There is a good list in the stickies at the top of this section of the forum. SR is also a wonderful place to find support and encouragement. You can do this and life can get better. You are worth it.

nandm

At the end of my drinking I too could go for a few days without a drink and not go through DT's. I also did not believe that I craved alcohol but in retrospect I can see that when I was not drinking I was planning my next drink or looking forward to when I could drink again. I think for me the realization that I was an alcoholic came when I realized that I did not know how to do even the most simple thing without drinking. I did not know how to mow my lawn without a cooler full of beer, go to a party, go out to dinner, spend a holiday with family/friends, enjoy a day in the sunshine, etc... Also when faced with a problem or something that upset me the first thing that came to my mind was picking up a drink to "relax." When I got sober I had to learn how to live life without drinking. I have to admit that was not easy. For me it took a recovery program but some people do it without one. I needed something to teach me how to do those basic things without drinking. But that is just my experience. I wish you the best with your goal of making positive changes in your life.

JillyJill74

Yes, alcohol has absolutely taken over my life. I am fortunate enough to not have to work right now and could be doing so many positive things like volunteering or finding a job that I would enjoy just to feel purposeful, but what do I do? I do my daily chores around the house and then drink and watch tv. It's really disgusting and selfish how I am wasting my life. I have so much to offer and I base my whole day around trying to get my duties done by noon so I have a few hours to drink before my fiancé gets home. It's so shameful.

deeker

Welcome Jilli! I posted some resources on the board. Thread about tools for newcomers. Glad u found SR!