deeker

When we judge or criticize another person, it merely says something about ourselves
.
If I judge it says I am intolerant and unaccepting and I am not looking at my own stuff. What are my motives? .

The Bible has a verse that says something like Why look at the speck in another's eye when you have a plank in your own. And do not judge less ye be judged .

To me that means why sit and judge you for something when I have a trunk load of defects of my own.

But it happens and a thick skin has been my gift from God when people criticize or judge me .

Lately if I am criticized I really try to pause for a moment and try to control my emotions and think more clearly .

I never did that when I was drinking and drugging. I was a loose cannon.

If I can’t say anything nice I try not to say anything at all! But sometimes it really takes self control. Sometimes my tongue just wants to wag and wag.

If I am feeling upset about some criticism, I need to consider why it was given to me in the first place. I need to spend some time thinking about what I have been told .


I really have to try to avoid jumping to conclusions, if at all possible! .


Oftentimes, taking just a few minutes out of my time to think about why this person felt compelled to talk to me can help me see the situation from a whole new angle .


Sometimes I get a second opinion. I ask another close friend, sponsor, family member, or coworker if they also have the same feelings .

If they do, then I have some thinking to do, and it eventually does motivate me to change. Don't get me wrong, it's no fun having a bad trait pointed out by others.

But If I am honest there is usually some truth in that statement of critcism, so I need weigh it out carefully before reacting .

I am learning not to react so impulsively. When I was drinking I reacted and got all defemsive and tried to explain myself or I looked for your faults . I don't have to do that anymore .


I don't give my peace up nearly as easily as I used to ..

Except with my darn Husband lol Hardest place to work the AA program is in my own home ..

As far as me criticizing others, yes I am guilty of it too. I always need to check my motives. Am I really trying to help this person or am I trying to make myself look and feel better .

I have not walked a mile in their shoes .

It's a process.

I am learning what brings me happiness and what upsets my joy , and what affects my relationships negatively . And because I love being happy I am more willing to eat crow..

If I give love out , I get it back. If I give out hatred, That is what I get back .

If I judge I can pretty much expect to be judged.

Still learning. See I never thought about character building as an active drunk. What was character? So I guess I'm progressing if only a little.

2granddaughters

Good list Deeker.

I try to break those old habits too. At least when I do jump to conclusions I can keep my mouth shut (most of the time).

All the best.

Bob R