dbskid

Can someone tell me why I can't stop? And after years of knowing I must stop the furthest I've gotten is 59 days.....and that was two years ago.....

I've been keeping track of days this year and I've got about 10 more days drunk than sober for the year...

I've only made it 7 days sober in a row...and that was the first 7 days of the year.......after that ......I think 4 is the most i've made in a row....and not one weekend...and it's March......

Thank god I can't have a gun in germany....there were several days that I'd have given up and ended it...

2granddaughters

You are an alcoholic just like me, that's why.



All the best.

Bob R

deadlydame

I am afraid many of us have experienced what you are experiencing right now. I am in the same situation myself. Clean for 35 days now but today is very very tricky. Fair to say that I haven't gone so long sober in years. For the last five years, my record was 30 sober then, not only would get to relapse, but my alcohol intake would increase at each of these relapses. So, my message to you is: Do not beat yourself down. There are ways to get out of this hell. It is the beating down that never fails to get us... Keep writing, keep reading, and you might very well find what is going to work for you. Stay strong!

- sandrine

Dave H

Look, you need to check into a clinical rehad facility. When you get out, start attending meetings right away. Like the first day. Alcohol is not worth the price you are paying. And we all are Powerless against our addiction on our own SEEK HELP!

Threshold

I couldn't stop (or rather STAY stopped) because I didn't really know and believe that there was any other way for me to cope with life.

Until I believed that enough to not pick up again, and try something different, I was really just "between drinks" as opposed to done drinking.

I borrowed hope and faith from people here to seed my own.

Proactively working a recovery program is giving me options beyond substances and compulsive behaviors. It is giving me freedom.

Dee74

I don't know why you cant stop dbskid but I couldnt stop because I was scared of not being a drinker.

what do you think is holding you back?

D

PVgirl

You said it when you said you were afraid of being a non-drinker. It sounds like such a boring, sterile life!

Johno1967

I visited Germany many years ago and thought myself in paradise. I could have a beer with Breakfast in Munich and no one would think it strange!
I was one of the "ugly Aussies" that you see making complete pigs of themselves, falling over drunk, spewing up everywhere and basically getting legless during Beer Fest that year.
I left Munich broke and nursing a dislocated jaw from a fight with another tourist and an aching liver from the beer. I don't think I saw a single Bavarian misbehave the whole time I was there. Why is that?
I was an alcoholic then as now simple as that. I was not there to have fun, I was there to get drunk and pretend I was having fun. I got drunk OK. Can't say I had fun and it was one of many such drunken forays in strange places that but for the grace of God should have seen me dead.
You don't need a gun you just need a new outlook and a fresh start. Get up tomorrow and say "I'll not have a drink today", do it again the next day and the day after that. Don't set a target more than one day at a time. Soon you will get past day 59 and will keep going. If I can stop - trust me, you can too.

Music

You're just not ready yet!! Like most of the rest of us, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to not take that next drink.....even if your butt falls off.

TorontoGuy28

You can not stop because you are an alcoholic, like me.

My sick mind would always convince me to pick up alcohol after work, even though that same morning I honestly thought the day would end differently.... Same mind would also convince me to order pint of beer at a business lunch, because of course I would stop after 3.. Yeah right.

Eventually, I had enough and decided THIS INSANITY had to end.

Got into an outpatient program, got a great therapist/shrink, AA, this forum and really avoided people/places/situations for good 4-6 months that reminded me of drinking times.

Good luck ! It can be done.... Just read some of my old posts as to where alcohol was taking me....

paul99

Nothing boring about sobriety. Being a slobbering, loud, over-emotional, angry. lonely, dullard of a drunk is boring.