Taking my first steps, trying to stay balanced

Old 02-22-2013, 06:31 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vermont
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Taking my first steps, trying to stay balanced

Hi there. I'm new to joining the forums but have been an avid reader for the past month. I've read well over 20 threads so far and can say you guys have been so much help in reminding me why I want to be free from the clutches of alcohol.

I'm on day 5 of sobriety and had a rough drinking problem for 3 years. It was escapism to the max, as I thought I could erase my woes but last week I hit a point where I was vomiting all day and felt terrible. I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was puffy, my eyes were red, my teeth felt strange and I felt ashamed that I couldn't look at the sun without resembling the unibomber.

My dad spoke to me last week and it really shook me. He made me realize how selfish I've been. Right now he's in the living room with a bottle and I feel really betrayed. Sobriety has been smooth until now. Suddenly I'm angry and feel resentful and almost jealous. It seems unreasonable, right? I guess this isn't gonna be as easy as I thought. I don't have a problem with my friends drinking but someone who was instrumental in my sobriety is slapping me in the face. Has anyone felt something like this before? I'm pretty young and kinda lost
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Old 02-22-2013, 06:34 PM
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Location: Upstate New York
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Welcome Groov. It's wonderful that you posted! I'm sure someone will be along with a similar experience to share. I haven't had that particular problem, but everything else you mentioned is what I went through, too. I was looking for escape and a way to cope - and all I found was misery.

Please keep posting and stay with us. We want to help. I'm sorry you're feeling low about what happened - but you can rise above it and continue on your path to a new life. Congratulations on your 5 sober days. That's something to be proud of!
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Old 02-24-2013, 06:30 AM
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Congratulations on five days!

It helps me to "own it" and protect it like something that is uniquely mine. No one else can possess it like I do so they really can't be expected understand it.
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Old 02-24-2013, 07:58 AM
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Location: South Jersey
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I can understand how difficult it is to have alcohol and drinking in the house during early sobriety. But his drinking isn't directed AT you, so there is no reason to consider it a "slap in the face." Does your dad have a drinking problem, himself? Or does he simply not appreciate the fact that his drinking around you might make it harder for you not to drink, at least at this stage of the game?

You might try calmly telling him that you took his words to heart and have decided to quit drinking, but that it is difficult to be around it in the house.

If he is unwilling to accommodate you, ultimately it is up to YOU to understand and deal with your own alcoholism. You can leave the house while he is drinking. You can go to an AA meeting. You can look for another place to live (assuming you are old enough to be on your own).

Resenting his drinking (it is, after all, his home) is only going to hurt YOU.
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Old 02-24-2013, 07:59 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: mountains of BC, Canada
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Welcome Groov! I would say that your dad Haines a bottle in he living room is not helpful and your feelings warranted but push through and you will be so happy and proud that you did. Come ere often for support and when the time is right talk to your dad and set soe boundaries with him that everyone can agree to. All the best
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Old 02-24-2013, 02:26 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Welcome to SR Groovitational

I agree with Lexie - he's not slapping you in the face - he's just drinking.

Sure, it would be great if everyone supported us to the point of not drinking around us but I think thats a little unrealistic.

Just go do your own thing. take a walk, hang out in your room, fire up the ipod...whatever

and congrats on 5 days

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Old 03-02-2013, 12:02 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vermont
Posts: 41
thanks to everyone above. it's a little rough and to be honest, weird to get through the emotional changes after sobering up. i don't live at home and was just visiting my parents, about to head back tonight. i carry the spirit of everyone here who is going through the same thing and aspire to achieve a higher goal of sobriety every day. it makes me smile when i see how long i've lasted. hope you all have a great day :o)
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Old 03-02-2013, 12:08 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vermont
Posts: 41
also to mfsteve, that has been such a big help to think of this as something i own and is precious in a sense. the more i value sobriety the more i want to keep it around. what a wonderful perspective, thank you.
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