Petewill

Hello,
I am working the aa program with a sponsor, have made some new friends from the meetings. I have numbers, but don't reach out to them, other than when we are at the meetings.(sometimes, i will call) I have pretty much cut all contact out from my regular friends and musicians, the reason is I feel as though I have burned so many bridges that nobody really gives a s... whether I contact them or not. everything just seems weird and isolated, I have just got a great new job and I feel i am turning into a person obsessed with work and trying to go to meetings when I can.. but that's it.. my once great network of friends and musicians seems gone. I don't feel myself actually. but, then again, I was mostly drunk these last few years.. to top it off I have been becoming obsessed with candy and coffee. lol. one thing for another, i guess..

Coconut61

i just wrote a post about loneliness too. not a good feeling. i hope things get better for both of us.

Gottalife

Pete, it's always darkest before the dawn.

I found myself in the same space after a couple of months. I couldn't imagine life with or without alcohol, and, as the book says, I knew lonliness as few do. But I was doing what you are doing. Working the steps to the best of my very limited ability, praying to a God I had no idea of, just putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
Then things began to change. Certain troublesome character defects seemed to be removed, the world began to look different. Instead of being cold and uninviting, a place to fear, it began to look attractive and warm, and I could see there was a place for me.
This was happening at about three months as I was working through step 9.
I was also going to meetings regularly, and was always willing to try and help another, even if it was just providing transport to a meeting.
The desire to drink left and has never returned, life took on new meaning.

Yes it is always darkest before the dawn. Hang in there Pete, it will get better.

elhadley

Go to a meeting and share about how you feel. The fellowship will be more than willing to get you back on track. Call your sponsor. If you don't have one get one immediately. If you aren't working the step start right away. The AA program doesn't work if you aren't working the steps. The change happens during the steps. You cannot quit on your on. You must go through the steps in order to change. I wish you the best of luck and hope you make the right discussion.

whiskeyman

my two best friends.
i feel like this quite abit, even when the phone rings and its an AA friend.
but all in all its okay to FEEL.

neferkamichael

Petewill, 63 days and feeling displaced(alone)? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.

2granddaughters

What does your sponsor say about the way you feel ??

It does take a while for many of us to become comfortable in our own skins. It takes work.

Maybe you could identify with me wanting to play guitar like Clapton.
I bought a good guitar and picked away at it for 63 days and was very disappointed when I "didn't quite live up" to Clapton's quality....

All the best.

Bob R

sugarbear1

"I have numbers, but don't reach out to them, other than when we are at the meetings.(sometimes, i will call)"

Friendships take time to create. We have to be a friend to make a friend.

Reach out more. Call people and learn how to be a real friend.