Geez, I'm drinking and in danger, again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 166
Originally Posted by Pamel 
Amazing what we are willing to risk for a drink. ...or more to the point, what that first drink can do to us.
I am now going to a therapist for this "sabotage" thing, but I think I pick up a drink when change is in the air, I am on edge, and "one" LOL drink seems like a good idea. Then I am living in alcohol-ville again and all bets are off.
Having just done that very thing (on day 4 after a 3-month relapse) I am working on staying sober before anything. When I don't have sobriety, I don't have me. In 3 months I have created amazing messes that I am now trying to clean up. What a waste...
Tell your sponsor at least, and you have a weekend to get a sober day under your belt (1 day makes such a difference).
I am now going to a therapist for this "sabotage" thing, but I think I pick up a drink when change is in the air, I am on edge, and "one" LOL drink seems like a good idea. Then I am living in alcohol-ville again and all bets are off.
Having just done that very thing (on day 4 after a 3-month relapse) I am working on staying sober before anything. When I don't have sobriety, I don't have me. In 3 months I have created amazing messes that I am now trying to clean up. What a waste...
Tell your sponsor at least, and you have a weekend to get a sober day under your belt (1 day makes such a difference).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 112
Thanks for your help everyone. I've still not taken the action. In the area that I live, there are stories of individuals on probation, relapsing, and coming to clean to their probation officer. That approach, in the cases I've heard, lands them in violation of there probation and detoxing in jail.
Until yesterday, I managed to keep it in check. I have no idea how I passed my PBT this morning, other than the possibility that I must have some genetic mutation that allows my liver to process alcohol extraordinarily fast.
I got back in my car, with a bad case of the jitters, and wept. I don't know if I've surrendered to step 1 as thoroughly as today.
Here's my plan: I'm going to try to get through a week. In my experience, the severest of cravings are gone by then. I'll get honest with my sponsor at that point.
If it fails, I've got to go to detox and treatment.
I feel comfortable being honest here and so I'll come back here every night, at the time I usually run out to the store, and post about how I'm doing.
Thank you everyone
Until yesterday, I managed to keep it in check. I have no idea how I passed my PBT this morning, other than the possibility that I must have some genetic mutation that allows my liver to process alcohol extraordinarily fast.
I got back in my car, with a bad case of the jitters, and wept. I don't know if I've surrendered to step 1 as thoroughly as today.
Here's my plan: I'm going to try to get through a week. In my experience, the severest of cravings are gone by then. I'll get honest with my sponsor at that point.
If it fails, I've got to go to detox and treatment.
I feel comfortable being honest here and so I'll come back here every night, at the time I usually run out to the store, and post about how I'm doing.
Thank you everyone
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 249
MWL,
Maybe you don't have to call your sponsor, but do you have any other contacts in AA you can call? I think it would help if you had someone to call even if it was for a quick 10-15 minute conversation. It will help you get out of your head so that you might have a slightly easier time in the first week of quitting again.
If I were in your position, I probably wouldn't fess up to the probation officer either, but I would definitely find a way to call someone and get some level of accountability/communication going again. It's part of why AA worked for you before, right?
Maybe you don't have to call your sponsor, but do you have any other contacts in AA you can call? I think it would help if you had someone to call even if it was for a quick 10-15 minute conversation. It will help you get out of your head so that you might have a slightly easier time in the first week of quitting again.
If I were in your position, I probably wouldn't fess up to the probation officer either, but I would definitely find a way to call someone and get some level of accountability/communication going again. It's part of why AA worked for you before, right?
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Lots of good advice here.
You are facing a lot of issues, the solution is simple, just don't drink.
Notice, I didn't say the solution was easy. If I were you I would confide in my sponsor. I wouldn't tell my girlfriend (that can come at a later date when you have some time under your belt and are stronger in your recovery). I see no upside in telling your probation officer. Sometimes I think there is a fine line between honesty and stupidity. Telling your probation officer would fall on the stupidity side.
Go to as many AA meetings as you can get to and don't drink between meetings. Bust your butt to complete your academic program. Sober, I think you can do it. But if you keep playing with fire it will likely all come crashing down, and life as you know it will change.
You are facing a lot of issues, the solution is simple, just don't drink.
Notice, I didn't say the solution was easy. If I were you I would confide in my sponsor. I wouldn't tell my girlfriend (that can come at a later date when you have some time under your belt and are stronger in your recovery). I see no upside in telling your probation officer. Sometimes I think there is a fine line between honesty and stupidity. Telling your probation officer would fall on the stupidity side.
Go to as many AA meetings as you can get to and don't drink between meetings. Bust your butt to complete your academic program. Sober, I think you can do it. But if you keep playing with fire it will likely all come crashing down, and life as you know it will change.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Originally Posted by MWL1983
Thanks for your help everyone. I've still not taken the action. In the area that I live, there are stories of individuals on probation, relapsing, and coming to clean to their probation officer. That approach, in the cases I've heard, lands them in violation of there probation and detoxing in jail.
Until yesterday, I managed to keep it in check. I have no idea how I passed my PBT this morning, other than the possibility that I must have some genetic mutation that allows my liver to process alcohol extraordinarily fast.
I got back in my car, with a bad case of the jitters, and wept. I don't know if I've surrendered to step 1 as thoroughly as today.
Here's my plan: I'm going to try to get through a week. In my experience, the severest of cravings are gone by then. I'll get honest with my sponsor at that point.
If it fails, I've got to go to detox and treatment.
I feel comfortable being honest here and so I'll come back here every night, at the time I usually run out to the store, and post about how I'm doing.
Thank you everyone
Until yesterday, I managed to keep it in check. I have no idea how I passed my PBT this morning, other than the possibility that I must have some genetic mutation that allows my liver to process alcohol extraordinarily fast.
I got back in my car, with a bad case of the jitters, and wept. I don't know if I've surrendered to step 1 as thoroughly as today.
Here's my plan: I'm going to try to get through a week. In my experience, the severest of cravings are gone by then. I'll get honest with my sponsor at that point.
If it fails, I've got to go to detox and treatment.
I feel comfortable being honest here and so I'll come back here every night, at the time I usually run out to the store, and post about how I'm doing.
Thank you everyone
My plan always ends up badly.
Please consider that you may not have the best plan.
I would encourage you to call your sponsor, otherwise known as, member of AA that shows another the way out....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Originally Posted by Veritas1
I would ask you to give up "your plan", and follow the AA plan that is outlined in the book.
My plan always ends up badly.
Please consider that you may not have the best plan.
I would encourage you to call your sponsor, otherwise known as, member of AA that shows another the way out....
My plan always ends up badly.
Please consider that you may not have the best plan.
I would encourage you to call your sponsor, otherwise known as, member of AA that shows another the way out....
The philosophy behind what it means to STOP is also something to work on. It doesn't mean "maybe", you really have to commit to it. Much respect to you for putting yourself out there, good luck.
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