eveleivibe

.....is an alcoholic?

I wrote a post about this but i thought it best to make a thread.

My Dad is a good, kind, hard working man
He's always been a drinker as far back as i know. His family are heavy drinkers n they spend every day in the pub. Over the years my Dad's drinking has increased. He can easily drink a whole bottle of wine within a few hours and in a night can drink lots of bottles of lager n wine. My mam bought alcohol he wanted once n i asked if that was for the week - she replied no it's for a night he'll get more tomorrow. They have a business together but my Dad has a second job n my mam does most of the work.

My mam has confronted him over this but he gets defensive n goes on about her smoking, saying it's just as bad. She tried putting a TV programme on once where there was an alcoholic on it, n my Dad said the chat show host was an arrogant b*******.

My Dad also hides alcohol n my mams found it in strange places. If he doesn't have sny he tends to sleep n seems impatient when he wants to get some.

If he is an alcoholic I can't ever see him admitting it. He has quit before n gone months without it but when he starts again it's the same as before.

My Dad will do anything for anyone, is a kind man n when he's sober he's so different to drunk, nicer, listens, sees other people's points of view etc.

So would he ever admit to being an 'alcoholic' n what would it take for him to do so? Or is this all over reacting????

Thanks for listening.

LexieCat

Well, he's certainly BEHAVING like an alcoholic (hiding the drinking, etc.).

Usually what it takes for someone to want to get sober is feeling like their lives are completely coming apart at the seams. Ironically, it's very hard for someone whose life ISN'T a complete mess to see what their drinking is doing to them. Alcohol affects our thinking, and we just don't see what other people see.

You can't make him stop drinking but you can do some good for yourself by finding an Al-Anon meeting. It can help a lot to meet other people who have the same kinds of problems as a result of a family member's drinking.

Gal220

I second the Al-Anon suggestion. The Friends and Family section of SR is also great for people who are friends and family of alcoholics. Honestly, you can't tell if he's an alcoholic. Only he can tell if he's an alcoholic. And it won't make any difference for him if you believe he's an alcoholic. He has to believe it for himself. I didn't believe I was an alcoholic until I talked to other alcoholics and heard my story in what they were saying.

What you do know for sure is that his drinking is damaging to himself and his family - more specifically, you. Al-anon is a great place to learn how to deal with that.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this and I hope you can find some support.

eveleivibe

Also his mum died of liver failure due to drinking too much alcohol. His sister is an alcoholic too.