Paul123456

please read this first

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...emotional.html


so anyway i took a walk with him just now to the shop and asked him why him and mum wont help me and in doing so he would be helping himself and i just get shouted at

why would my family not want to help, other than being stuck at home because of my anxiety ive not been a bad son and i always try and keep the atmosphere in the house up but they are my parents and wont help me in my recovery, just feels like they dont really care and its depressing the hell out of me

thanks for reading

Sapling

For myself...I don`the think I got to the point that my family didn't want to help me...I did get to the point they got tired of my promises I would do something about it...I don't really blame them...I wasn't doing anything about it. I had to take the action...I had to make the changes....I had to back up my words...With actually doing something. Things are a lot better for me with my family now....I have some in my family that should be doing what I'm doing....I can't worry about them....I have to take care of myself.

Dee74

I no longer lived at home but my social circle, my drinking buddies, wouldn't help me either Paul.

They didn't want to change their lives and they certainly didn't want to change them for my benefit.

If home is that rough then I think you either have to look at ways of getting out of there, or of finding support that you can call on, people and numbers to call - things like AA or SMART?

D

Valll

Hi Paul,

the only light I can shed on your situation is through my brother (a recovering alcolholic who has lost almost everything...lived on the streets, in shelters, lost his physical self and mental health etc) and when the family get together, some of us are supportive and drink soft drinks, others just don't really get it and I am sure they don't mean to be mean but they openly drink alcohol, umming and aaaahing after every sip, caressing the glass like a dear friend or lover.....they just don't understand how hard it is for him.

I am sure you will get there and I hope you have some other support?

Val

zjw

You'll be stronger in the end for it. I quit and had probably 18 beers left int he fridge that i said no too for months and months till i let 2 friends drink em in front of me in my living room with out an issue at all watching. They enjoyed em i was glad to offer em. I wont lie 30 days in i grabbed one and just about had it open when my wife stopped me thank god too.

Gotta keep in mind your the one that needs to quit the world cant ban booze on account of you. You gotta ban it from yourself on accont of you. Its your problem to solve and tackle. That being said as hard as it may seem it'll just make you more successful in the end saying no when its blairing you in the face.

Its your fathers choice to keep drinken not yours. worry about your choice not his keep it seperate it'll be easier to handle that way.

I had many emotional days int he leadup to quiting and after my head was a friggen mess. It gets better.

Ghostly

I have a totally different situation...but the point will be applicable to you as well Paul.

I quit just over two and a half years ago I got no support form my wife. She thought she did, but was upset when I relied on anyone than her for support. She would get mad whenever I got on SR, or looked in similar places for support. She thought she was supportive, but wasn't.

My best friend...would shove beers in my face. Told me to drink. Later he would say to just take a drink and spit it out (for things he brewed himself, so I could tell him how it tastes). Yeah, great idea for someone in Recovery to just slosh around a mouth full of beer then spit it out. He also tried to get me to do shots with him at his anniversary party.

So...it sucks man. Ideally, your parents would support you. They would do what needed to be done to assist you, since you're making a sincere effort at this.

However, and this is where the point of my story comes in... we cannot rely on others for sobriety. If your parents don't support you, and my best friend of over 20 years as well as my wife, don't support me, it just goes to show we need to do this for ourselves and by ourselves. That's not to say we cannot look to support groups for help, just that we cannot count on them keeping us sober either. Its our own choice.

That said, I hope your parents come around.

LadyinBC

I've been pretty lucky I have found myself lots of support thru friends and family. And I basically will **** can anyone who won't support me.

My mom till does drink and asks me if I miss it, but at least she is proud of me.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.