50mission

I was on day 4 yesterday and over the roughest part of the withdrawal when a colleague at work gave me a present for Christmas. It was wrapped but I knew it was booze. I accepted it graciously and brought it home. For the past 4 days I have been driving home via a different route whereby I don't pass a liquor store. This night I drove past the liquor store because I knew the thing that I wanted was in my back seat so I wouldn't be bothered with the liquor store anyway.

Turns out when I got home to my family I put the "gift" in the cupboard and that is where it remains and I got to see day 5. I think I will regift it.

T

escapist

I had an employee give me a bottle of vodka for Christmas. I thanked him and told him I didn't drink. He gave it to my assistant instead.

50mission

Good advice Escapist. Thanks! My problem I think is not wanting to disappoint people. Come to think of it that is a major part of my problem.

T

Thepatman

Giving it to someone else is a great idea! Just make sure it's not me! LOL!

paul99

That is very true. I found that people pleasing was actually quite a selfish thing, oddly enough. I used to turn myself into a martyr, which made me feel smugly superior, while putting an air of selflessness. And of course, that put me in prime real estate for the "poor me"'s. And in the end, it put me in resentments. It took me time to see this, but I know that fear also drove that need to be liked - what if they said something not nice about me? Horror! What if they thought something negative about me? So my solution was to become a door mat...and then, of course, resentments kicked in.

Once I saw all this, it was a matter of boundaries for me. And it really helps me in my day to day.

Kevah

I work in a place that would not give that as a gift, and my friends and family all know I don't drink. However, I can understand the fear of seeming rude in refusing the gift. To be honest, if I were faced with that, I would like to think I would say,
Thank you, but I can't accept this. I don't drink" OR say "Thank you" and then deposit it in a garbage bin on my way home from work. (So as not to be seen throwing away their gift...) I know me, and it wouldn't be a good idea to have it in the house (or car) in the plans for re gifting. It's just too much temptation for little ol me

50mission

Thanks for your replies. Gave it to my friend. Out of sight, out of mind, well... almost.

T

TheEnd

Every year we have a holiday party with a bartender and receive many bottles of wine. We both are non drinkers, but like for our guests to enjoy themselves and the normal drinker after a few drinks is actually more fun to be around. I have no problem accepting it and giving it to someone else, just like I do when I get cakes and desserts I won't eat, or clothes I will never wear. No need to be rude, impolite or get resentful at this guesture. Just people trying to be nice and thougthful, it is not their fault we cannot drink it. As non-drinkers we need to learn how to coexist with the rest of the world.