LifeBlows

And ashamed. Over the last couple of years I haven't had a professional job. Earlier this summer, I went to the employment center in my town, and wrote a new resume. I also interviewed with a recruiter, who told me that I should use the experience working with my family's business on my resume.

This hid a dirty little secret, due to my isolating tendencies and poor work habits as an active alcoholic: I NO LONGER HAVE PROFESSIONAL REFERENCES!!! I finally got around to following the job seeker advice that I received at the employment center which was to cold call companies to find out who is hiring.

I found a place, five minutes from where I live. Its in the right field, working directly with the controller.

When I got out of treatment, I worked at a call center, and then got a job at a fast food place. I've made an effort to be a hard working, conscientious employee. I've only missed one day in 6 months that I've been there and left early once due to illness. My boss told me I work hard, and my co-workers seem to like me for once.

I'm scared to ask my boss for a reference. I'm scared to offer her up as a reference since I never mentioned that I was working fast food while working at my family business at my first interview.

I'm so tempted to just buy two cell phones and pretend to be my references or find someone on Craigslist to do so. I'm afraid that I'll get caught. I'm afraid that if I do it and I don't get caught I'll never feel comfortable in that job ever. I mean I've heard of people being busted for lying 5 years after they got the job. Plus I'll feel so depressed and ashamed if I do get caught.

This job has excellent benefits that I desperately need to cover my prescription medication. It would be a great opportunity for me and I'm so afraid that I will lose it.

bryangt

To thine own self, be true. Sounds like a sticky situation if you go the underhanded route. Things have a tendency to catch up with one at certain times. 'Do the right thing...be honest...and have no regrets or shame.

doggonecarl

Whenever the mighty fall, be it in politics or business, it's rarely what they've done that gets them in the most trouble. It's always the cover up. Lies always come back to bite you.

Can you go back to the employment center and ask them what you should do if you don't have current references?

Fandy

In this terrible economy, MANY people are taking jobs that they normally wouldn't. I see very over qualified people working in Home Depot or any retail outlet. I dated a licensed union electrician a couple of years ago who was working at Macys for Christmas...doing retail.

You are working to keep from starving and being homeless...that is admirable, nothing to be ashamed of. You sound like a MAGNIFICENT employee...by all means ask for a real reference from your current boss. it's honest and truthful.

LifeBlows

Thanks for the feedback. I've been thinking about it some more and you folks are right. This is a terrible idea. If I do get caught later its grounds for termination for cause in which case I would have no job, no rereferences from that job either, no eligibility for EI and yet another blow to what's left of my professional reputation.

paul99

For this alcoholic, working a program of rigorous honesty, and having had gone through sweeping my side of the street in terms of dishonest actions and behaviors, it certainly wouldn't serve me to lie in any part of my life, regardless of the personal consequences.

When I got out of treatment, I got a job (which I currently hold still) and they had to do a background criminal check. I had two charges that were not before the courts yet. I was nervous, and of course they found them. HR phoned me and told me about what they found, and asked if there was substance abuse issues. Without hesitation I said "yes". I just couldn't lie any more. My life had been a whole lie, complete with all the cover ups, fibs and fantastical storytelling that sank me deeper into despair. So they conferred with my now boss and they were all fine with it.

So there is something satisfying and freeing having my record known and nothing being hidden. You are correct in seeing the folly of creating a web of lies, as it certainly could hinder you later on. You'd be surprised how much people are accepting of certain situations, and most importantly, will be impressed with your candor and honesty up front. Starting anything off with a lie only breeds contempt...at least in my opinion.

Good luck with the job!

LifeBlows

I sent the fast food references with an explanation as to why. I've got my fingers crossed. It took me an hour to write the email but I did and offered to provide confirmation about where else I had worked and the job titles there. I'll see what happens. If it works out I could be in a brand new job by the first week of next month. With benefits. And at least 1.5 times what I'm earning now. I'm trying to turn this over to God but I'm not really good at that just yet. I did make a haphazard prayer before I sent it in. I have visions of them both turning up their noses at the explanation or laughing at me.

I know my references are solid though which helps.

paul99

It wasn't in doing the haphazard prayer that you turned it over to God. It was you writing that email, being fully honest and knowing the outcome is not in your hands...THAT is turning it over to God.

Good job

ZombieAttack

Putting spin on things and getting results from recruiters is kind of my field of expertise, so I may be able to help.

Let me clarify;

-You had a career which you used to have decent references from
-Something happened and that stopped, you got into drinking and ended up in treatment
-After you came out you did not go back to the previous employment and took different work.
-You have found a new job which you want, which is suitable to your skill set, but you do not have contact with the previous employers (pre-drink problem) to back up your credentials, and the only references you can get are the ones from the post-treatment employers?

If this is the case, there is definitely an angle there!

Let us know and we can work something out for you.

Cheers

Threshold

My understanding of a resume is to provide information on experience and training that supports your fitness for a specific job. It is not critical to put down each and every employer etc, just the one's that show why a person is qualified for the position they are applying for.

So I see no problem with you providing this person as a professional reference or them knowing that you've been working in a fast food job, and applying for things that better suit you.

Indeed, I think it will be to your benefit when they hear that you were willing to work and work well in whatever sort of job you've taken. You are a good employee, bottom line, no matter what sort of work you find yourself in. You have a good work ethic, and the references to back that up.

I have a few versions of my resume, tailored to the type of position I am seeking, and references are supplied when requested. I've changed fields several times and so far I don't see that it's been held against me.

UHK4toolong

Nine years ago I was in a similar situation, trying to stay clean and sober. I had loss a license that got me good paying jobs with benefits. I had three months to get a certain amount of clean UA's, but I was working an honest program. Couldn't find a doctor to call me in at random, so I loss the license. Didn't stay sober then, have 11 months now and looking back that was a blessing in disquise. I even went and made amends to the co-worker that told the company to UA me and thanked him.

AnotherPaul

Definitely ask the fast food manager for a reference. It sounds like she'll give you a good one and in this economy there is no shame in doing any type of honest work. There's something admirable about someone who wants to work and doesn't think they're "above" taking a job that they're overqualified for.

And if the family business is on the resume, why can't you list the family members you worked for/with as business references? It's not as if you're lying - you really did work for/with them. If the potential new employer questions it, tell the truth: these are the people who have the most recent knowledge of you as an employee/coworker, so you thought they'd be the most appropriate to list.

And maybe this will ease your mind: I had a supervisor at a job I left ten years ago - we became close friends as coworkers and have remained so. He is listed as a professional reference on my resume. He has never, ever been contacted by any of the dozen or so companies I've interviewed with at various points since then. I just don't think many, if any, hiring managers base their final decisions on something as flimsy as references. What they think of you in the interview doubtless counts much more.

Best of luck.

LifeBlows

zombie attack you are absolutely right