Update...and can use some more advice. Please.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 8
Update...and can use some more advice. Please.
So, as I posted in my first thread, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. He said some horrible things and ignored me for a week.
I told myself, if I heard from him again, I would not be taking him back, being I am young and do not need to take on a boyfriend with an addiction.
He did end up contacting me, and although I responded, I was firm and told him I wanted nothing more then to be friends, being we were friends for 2 years before we started dating. After reading the horrible stories on here, getting back with someone with an addiction was not something I wanted to get involved with. It was then that he told me how much he loved me, and apologized sincerely for the things he said. (This was the first time he had ever said anything hurtful to me.) He told me how he sat down with his parents and told them of his addiction. While we were not talking, he admitted that he knew he had messed up big time, and wanted to do something about the problem before he asked for forgiveness, being if he hadn't, he knew I wouldn't take him back. Him and his parents went to a AA counselor. I told my parents (who are very fond of him as a person) about his problem, and they told me that if I really loved him,to support him through this. We got together and spoke for four very long emotional hours about it, and as I told him, as long as he was trying I would stay.
Now, please before you all tell me what an *idiot* I am, know that I love this man very much, and aside from his addiction, he is a very loving boyfriend, and he is my best friend. He is NOT abusive, he doesn't get drunk, but I would say he is a functioning alcoholic.The fact that he went to meet with the counselor and admitted his problem means A LOT to me, and shows me that hes putting forth effort. He told me that he would do whatever it takes not to lose me. Last night, he called me because he was having the urge to drink, and I sat on the phone with him until the liquor store closed.
What I'm looking for now his advice on how to help him. I went as far as sitting down with a friend of my mothers who is a recovering alcoholic so I could understand the illness more. I'm reading a book on it as well. I was wondering if there was any good, useful advice from you guys out there on how to see him through this. I know he will mess up, and make mistakes. I've learned from my mothers friend and books, to not keep nagging him about it. I would make him give me his drink and I'd sip it every time he drank something. I am aware that is not a good strategy now. I'm looking for any useful tips on how to act if I do see him drink, or ways to approach the subject when he talks to me about it. Thank you in advance!!!
I told myself, if I heard from him again, I would not be taking him back, being I am young and do not need to take on a boyfriend with an addiction.
He did end up contacting me, and although I responded, I was firm and told him I wanted nothing more then to be friends, being we were friends for 2 years before we started dating. After reading the horrible stories on here, getting back with someone with an addiction was not something I wanted to get involved with. It was then that he told me how much he loved me, and apologized sincerely for the things he said. (This was the first time he had ever said anything hurtful to me.) He told me how he sat down with his parents and told them of his addiction. While we were not talking, he admitted that he knew he had messed up big time, and wanted to do something about the problem before he asked for forgiveness, being if he hadn't, he knew I wouldn't take him back. Him and his parents went to a AA counselor. I told my parents (who are very fond of him as a person) about his problem, and they told me that if I really loved him,to support him through this. We got together and spoke for four very long emotional hours about it, and as I told him, as long as he was trying I would stay.
Now, please before you all tell me what an *idiot* I am, know that I love this man very much, and aside from his addiction, he is a very loving boyfriend, and he is my best friend. He is NOT abusive, he doesn't get drunk, but I would say he is a functioning alcoholic.The fact that he went to meet with the counselor and admitted his problem means A LOT to me, and shows me that hes putting forth effort. He told me that he would do whatever it takes not to lose me. Last night, he called me because he was having the urge to drink, and I sat on the phone with him until the liquor store closed.
What I'm looking for now his advice on how to help him. I went as far as sitting down with a friend of my mothers who is a recovering alcoholic so I could understand the illness more. I'm reading a book on it as well. I was wondering if there was any good, useful advice from you guys out there on how to see him through this. I know he will mess up, and make mistakes. I've learned from my mothers friend and books, to not keep nagging him about it. I would make him give me his drink and I'd sip it every time he drank something. I am aware that is not a good strategy now. I'm looking for any useful tips on how to act if I do see him drink, or ways to approach the subject when he talks to me about it. Thank you in advance!!!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: roller coaster, AL
Posts: 297
I'm new here but
I can tell you that just that you cared enough to sit on the phone with him until the liquor store closed tells me alot about you and that you care. I think that might be what he needs right now. I don't know and I'm no expert but as far as YOU go..you did good!!
I can tell you that just that you cared enough to sit on the phone with him until the liquor store closed tells me alot about you and that you care. I think that might be what he needs right now. I don't know and I'm no expert but as far as YOU go..you did good!!
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