Tetra

I will be one year sober in two days time. With all of the Christmas decorations up etc. I have been thinking back a bit to this time last year and the mess I was in.

Last night I had a dream that really, really upset me. It was so clear and vivid. I was dreaming that I was drinking a bottle of bacardi. I woke up at 4am in a right state and couldn't get back to sleep. In the dream, I was drinking bacardi mixed with blueberry juice, (I actually bought this juice this week for real) and I could feel the heat as it went down my throat. I even had the bottle hidden inside a cereal box, just like I used to, and the feelings of guilt and shame were there. I woke up in a panic as I was pouring the bacardi down the sink.

I'm changing my sheets now as they are covered in sweat. I was very frightened by this dream. Is there any meaning to it? I am very stressed this week. It was around this time last year that I had a seizure. I am prone to seizures anyway, and my excellent neurologist has them well under control. I take half of a tablet at night and I haven't had a seizure since. Tomorrow I have a review appointment with him. I haven't been to see him for six months and I'm nervous. I feel nervous around doctors anyway.

I would welcome anybody's thoughts on this. Thank you.

Fandy

It's just subconscious thoughts, probably triggered by thinking of old past holiday behavior.
Congrats on your real life and sobriety.

bnstphnsn

Tetra: first, relax. Youll be fine. You're doing a heck of a job, congrats!

Second, if you must assign some meaning to the dream, maybe it was a gift from your HP? Maybe the dream was so real and vivid to scare you, get your guard up, get your had back into sobriety. I dont know if this is true, but I have experienced stranger interventions on my behalf that I believe came from my HP. Maybe he's just getting you ready for the holiday season...

Fernaceman

I wouldn't put too much stock into it. Analyzing dreams will drive ya nuts. They can be interpreted any way you really want to.

Be glad it was just that, a dream. The bright side is you were disgusted by the dream and the thought of going back to drinking.

Thepatman

I second Fandy, you know your one year is coming ;-)
Grats to you!!!

Nevertheless

I am no psychologist.But I think it's a good sign. I think it means deep inside you are afraid if drinking again,which is a good thing.
We should never take our sobriety for granted. I used to have a lot of dreams like that (or nightmares). But it's been a while since I had one. The fact that you woke up in a cold sweat kind of sounds like the thought of drinking again had you terrified. So I wouldn't exactly call it a dream. I would call it a very bad nightmare.
Might want to think about what you had to eat before bed. Things like pizza that cause dreams come to mind.
Fred

Windancer

I wouldnt put much stock into it. Just take it as a reminder why you do not drink anymore and go from there . Only you can make you drink or not to drink...bad dream or no bad dream.
I have heard that dreams like this are common, btw.
Congrats on the upcoming one year!!!

Tetra

Thanks for the replies, I do appreciate it

Gottalife

The dreams are normal. To me they signify a genuine desire to quit.

Dee74

Those kinds of dreams are very common Tetra.

They are scary, but they're just dreams.

I don't attach too much meaning - when you drank as much as I did I think it's natural to have memories and whatnot play out in your subconscious a little.

I never let them bother me too much - never changed anything I was doing - and my recovery has lasted

D

TSDD

I'll try to keep this from being too crass, but I've had some VERY vivid dreams of being with a beautiful woman and woke up in a sweat..... I'm sad to report those didn't seem to manifest in reality..... I wouldn't read too much into it.

fluffyflea

The meaning is it/s your sobriety date in 2 days and you had what is called adrinking dream. It ,the dream is just reminding you you are still an alcoholic.


Don/t worry about it.

Db1105

Dreams are just dreams.

paul99

I always laugh once the initial panic upon awakening and realizing it was a dream. I laugh because there is a point in the dream where I freak out asking "my sponsor is going to kill me!!"

These dreams come and go. The good thing is that there is no hangover.

clink

The dream likely doesn't mean anything in and of itself, but it triggered some pretty intense emotions for you. Your one year is coming up (well done) and you are likely already feeling some things. Anniversaries can stir things up, so the dream likely represents feelings that were already there. But I know how real dreams can seem and how they can mess you up for quite a while. Acknowledge the scary feelings, and see them for what they are- a reminder that you do NOT want to go back to where you were just over a year ago. You've come a long way!

Kristyj

I have drinking dreams quite frequently and they always rattle me. I'm always so disappointed in myself and feel so horrible in these dreams. I like to think of it as a little reminder that this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful and it is something that I must never take lightly

redneckrecovery

I have these every once in a while. They are horrible. Such a terrible nightmare. It usually takes me a day or so to shake them.

It happens, its part of recovery. There isnt much you can do. They come and go for me.

cfm

Be very grateful for those dream. Those are God's little gifts to you as a reminder of where you came from.

Fernaceman

Yeah come to think of it this has happened to me on numerous occasions as well...!

We tend to over-analyze the bad dreams to find their meaning, while ignoring the good dreams as just what they are, "dreams."