rgiardino

I made it 16 days without alcohol....but I couldn't do it. I have to pass the liquor store on my way home from the train and bought my usual Bacardi gold..I even drabk this morning and still am...I need something besides AA. I want to quit but I can't. 16 days was the longest I have ever gone without drinking. Can someone please share with me you story of how you quit
By yourself.

DAB

After hitting bottom enough times, I was no longer welcome there.
I had to make AA enough for me because I couldn't afford treatment.
I wanted what they had, so I took what I learned seriously. I took the steps seriously.
Through prayer and meditation I was able to get through the rough patches.
I have been sober longer than I have been in 25 years.
I am happier now than I have been in a very long time.
I know you can do it too because you are here asking for help.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Rgiardino.

Sorry to hear that you relapsed, but it's not the end of the world. Just forget it and move on.

I'm doing my sobriety journey by myself (with SR, of course) - Day 41 here.

For me it was essential to recognize and eliminate or diminish all the triggers and situations that make me drink. I know that I tend to drink when I feel lonely, unhappy, self-pity, when haunted by memories or worried about future.

It's important to get busy with anything, because if rephrase a saying "idle mind is an AV's workshop". I go to fitness club almost every day -it improves mood immensely, boosts endorphines. Meditation helps - I just put on some meditation program and fall asleep to it at night to keep thoughts at bay.

Reading and posting here helps a lot.

Planning ahead is a great tool. If you know that passing by a liquor store is a trigger, then change your route or do something else to avoid it.

For me it's a war with one single battle every day - the better I'm prepared and more weapons I deploy, the more chances I win.

Take care and keep posting. Don't be stuck in your relapse. "No regrets, they don't work".

Have a good day.

Fandy

i think it may different motivation for everyone?

i wanted to sleep, not pass out. i wanted to feel less depressed, i wanted to not let my family down, my brother had been carrying the burden of caring for our ill, aged mother for too long...i just stopped drinking, but i also relapsed, it's not uncommon.

you felt well during your 16 days? you feel craptastic now? which is better. get rid of Mr. Bacardi, he's not your friend...but we are.
Do you have ftf people from your AA group who will help you? Call them? get something to eat, brush your teeth and take a shower....get out of the house and away from morbid thoughts and booze. don't be by yourself.

and check back later to tell us.

Thepatman

When the time comes you will feel it. When you do boose won't be an option in your life anymore. Some it takes more then others. Like heatlh, finances, depression etc.

What will be your rock bottom?

Don't beat yourself over relapse.

JasonMarchelak

I'm sorry you only made it 16 days you poor soul,

I started drinking when I was 18, first it would be a bottle of wine after work with dinner about 4 days a week, it slowly but surely progressed and found myself drinking a.s.a.p after work, bingeing to get a quick fix which I really enjoyed, the buzz.......However coming up 20 my mother died from epilepsy before xmas and found her body, that day i started drinking so much alcohol I couldnt put a limit of it as I would pass out, during the years of drowning my sorrows I did quit for 2 months and was on antabuse after, I stopped it and started drinking again as I found life to be so boring without it! So basically i used to get my money every 2 weeks and binge on alcohol all week and stop, withdraw and back to the same routine over and over again until I ended having DT's and seizures through the withdrawal, I eventually lost my flat through all the arguments with neighbours and assaulting PC's whilst totally intoxicated, back then I was arrested dozens of times through drunk and disorderly.....Then I was sleeping rough in the cold, nothing to eat, stealing alcohol, I am not gonna lie, and waiting till pay day on the streets to get absolutely hammered......Then I was finallly put away for 2 1/2 months in prison, had a detox and asked myself this question "do I really want to carry on like this and ending up in prison" and I got released, and live in shared accomodation with 3 other guys who used to use and we all help eachother and have our own rooms and I was off the streets, I eventually began to see the light after saving most of my money and realising that I can treat myself, but not on alcohol and yes I have lapsed 1 day out of my 5 3/4 months sobriety, I look back at alcohol in disgust from what it did to me!

I hope you can try and keep strong for yourself, as it really is a rollercoaster coming off as you well know!

sugarbear1

So, the steps of AA didn't work?

Gravel

Beings that I relapsed after 2 years sober i can tell you what went wrong there.

I made a clear goal when i quit drinking. It was to lift weights and become healthy. That goal is what kept me clean. But I lost track of these goals after I thought I could drink just a little bit which snowballed into more drinking and i quit the gym and ruined a relationship with my girl.

If quitting isn't a good enough goal come up with another reason to quit. Make a goal of maybe getting clean and finding a women and treating her great and move on with life and enjoy it sober. That's what I really want I think more than the gym.

First, I would stop drinking and drink some clean water like distilled water. Go on with some small activities even if they are useless. Then begin to plan something good for yourself as you come out of detoxing.

Then the next time you come to day 16 you might have developed and idea or goal you would like to meet.

I think the most important thing to remember is alcohol wants you 6 feet under sooner rather than later. It also wants to make you broke, make you lose all the people that love you, and make you do regrettable things. To be honest, being sober is great because you don't have to worry about being regretful when you wake up. That in itself could be your first goal. I tell you why cause it made my relationship with my women strange now. It's like the old one we had is gone and there is still something there but it's been tarnished and it's not the same.

But that's my rambling. This is my 3rd day sober. LOL . Come with me! We'll post as we remain sober.

Take care.

Xune

My life had become unmanageable.

I looked at what was causing the chaos and I realized it was alcohol.

I admitted to myself and Dr that I had a drinking problem.

My first sober day was on the 4th of July.

I read some books about addiction and sought out an addiction specialist, whom I still see.

Just this week I admitted to myself and Dr that I am an addict in recovery.

I cannot and will not drink alcohol again.

That's how I've done it outside traditional 12 step support.

( However, my counselor tells me, without my knowing it, I'm working the traditional 12 steps.)

I now have my life back and am currently repairing all of the harm I caused.

Alcohol is no longer welcome in my life and is no longer an option for me.

2granddaughters

What does your sponsor say about your condition?

All the best.

Bob R

flutter

I could quit by myself just fine, but needed help staying that way. Personally, I saw a counselor for support and guidance.

ETA: We are here to provide our experience and support. The OP has never mentioned using AA as a recovery program. I think it's cool for us to share what worked for us, but honestly I think it's a little pushy to throw out the questions about how his AA is going for him.. share how yours is going for you, that might be a bit more helpful.

Boleo

Are you talking about the fellowship or the program?

If all you tried was a few meetings, then you do need something besides the fellowship of AA. You obviously need the program of AA as well.

Elisabeth888

I can't stay quit on my own. You do not have to do AA though. There are other programs. Some people get recovery through counseling.

Elisabeth888

Honestly, I don't get why some people here push AA so hard on people. The traditions say "attraction not promotion".

The AA pushers reinforce the idea that AA is a "cult".

The fact is, there are other ways to get and stay sober. AA is just one way.

desserts

I had been drinking just to get drunk from age 16 onward till I was 19. Now looking back on the past I could see even in my early childhood an achoholic tendency aka asking my father for sips of his gin and tonics but thats another story all together. As I got older I began not having so much fun drinking aka getting into fights, hurting myself accidentally, waking up in a hospital bed because of acute intoxication and doing stupid things while under the influence. What finally got me sober was about 6 months after I was given an ultimatum at my prestigious college that I was on full scholarship at to either go to rehab or get kicked out from the school. My parents couldn't afford rehab so I transferred to a local commuter college. That summer and fall I stayed in denial, drinking and drugging just the same. Fall of that year I visited that college and got really drunk with my friends, and then as I went to sleep, in a girl's bed that I wasn't having sex with, I just felt like the biggest idiot in the world. I got really depressed for the few days afterwards and haven't drank since. I have been sober since September 23rd of 2011, hope this helps and good luck!!

Dee74

Let's not turn this into another one of those threads.
To be fair the OP did mention AA here before anyone else did.
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Hi Robbie

I'm not sure what you were doing to stay sober - there's not a lot of detail in your posts - but for me staying sober meant a lot more than just not drinking - I really had to make changes in my life, and I really needed to find support.

I gave you a lists of recovery group links in another thread - if you haven't checked them out I really encourage you to do so - some methods have meetings, some don't, almost all of them have an online component now.

You can make more use of SR too - why not join the current Class of November thread in Newcomers forum...many people post there daily or more than daily and find the support really helps.

In the end - it takes work I think. It would be great to just make the decision to quit and not have to do anything else, but for many of us that's just not the way it works.

If whatever you've been doing isn't working, it's time to admit you need to do more I think.

D

Fernaceman

Don't beat yourself up. For many (including myself), it took "many countless vain attempts to control my drinking."

You say AA didn't work. I find that hard to believe. Usually it's not the programs fault. Whenever I failed, it was purely a lack of commitment and effort on my part. The program will work, 100% of the time, if it is worked as laid out in the big book.

Did you work all 12 steps? Did you have a sponsor? Were you active I the fellowship and giving of yourself to others?

Give those things a try, with even 20% of the effort you put into drinking, and you will be amazed and astonished at how your view of the world will change for the better.

God Bless.

Elisabeth888

Sorry Dee! I will keep it to myself the next time I get irked about that.

freshstart57

There is not a single program that works for everyone. These pages have the heart rending diaries of people who have worked their recovery over and over again, yes, following 'the program', without finding what they needed. Adding the stigma of blame for failure is not a cool thing to do.
Let's instead offer encouragement, suggestions to try something different, sharing hope and strength. OP did indeed make mention, but not by way of invitation, imo.

RGiardino, you can find what you need to stay sober, but only if you keep looking. There are many paths to success, and there will be one that is uniquely yours. But you have to give yourself a shot at it - empty your place of any alcohol, and lose the empties, too. Can you find another route home that doesn't take you past that liquor store? At the end tho, you need to find that place inside you that knows that you have stopped drinking. Look after that part of you, be gentle and kind, reward it and feed it. That part of you will grow stronger and smarter, and you will know that you have quit drinking for good.

audra

Hi there - relapse is part of it. But it sounds like you want sobriety. This is what I did.

1) Poured out the rest of the stuff in the house. Made a commitment/took responsibility.
2)Took the bottles over to the depot.
3)Told my DH, DD and DSIL.
4)Told my doctor
5) Told my mother
6) Joined a sobriety website and went on the boards everyday.
7)When to my first AA meeting and kept on going no matter what.
8) Started to attend more AA meetings - got a sponsor.
9) Started to attend more AA meetings - got a home group.
10) Have friends at AA that I'm accountable to.
11) Started working the steps very seriously.
12) Told another doctor so he could adjust my hormones.
13)Told my DS and DDIL
14) Joined this website.
15) Read every book I can get my hands on about alcoholism and recovery

Hope that helps.
Audra