joinedintime

I've noticed a gradual change in my recovery as follows;

Once I was far enough into my sober time I was able to realize some of the mid to longer term benefits of being sober such as clearer thought, a more even emotional temperament, better short term memory and the ability to look at my life choices with less bias. During this time period I found myself imagining where I might be in my life had I never been touched by alcoholism.

This brought on guilt over how I could have been a better husband, father, brother, son and person. I didn't dwell on it all the time and I did temper the guilt with the joy of recovery and thoughts like look forward, water under the bridge, be happy that you are sober etc. which is all valid true and helpful.

Recently the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I should also realize that the experiences of alcoholism and recovery have in some ways made me a better husband, father, brother, son and person nowthan I would have been without these experiences.

I am not suggesting that if I had my life to do over that I'd choose the alcohol path but I am saying that there is [I]some[I] good that has come from the challenge of it.

I subscribe to the theory that getting past challenges/troubles/failures makes us stronger and better...or in other words, builds our character in a positive way. I cannot think of any greater challenge/trouble/failure in my life than alcoholism.

Does this make sense to others based on your experience?

Thanks, and as frame of reference I'm over 4 years sober.

sugarbear1

How did you stay stopped for 4 years?

Pondlady

Yes, it makes sense to me. I subscribe to the theory that our experiences, both good and bad, shape us into the individuals we are today. I also think recovering from alcoholism, makes me more empathetic towards those struggling with addiction.....but not necessarily more patient, as I tire of people unwilling to do the work. I totally agree about the benefits to short term memory

least

Makes sense to me too. Not that I"d choose to be an alcoholic in my next life, but by learning from it I've become a better person all round. Congrats on your sober time. I'm coming up on three years myself.

CarolD

Thanks for bringing this up...Congratulations on your sober years


When I first started my AA program and heard members say
"I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic" I thought they were nuts....

I stayed around and my life slowly began to shift into sober
actions and thinking.
Grateful... to me.... meeans positive daily action..

Boleo

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.*

*Usually it just kills us!

Blondie0419

This is great, thank you so much for this post!!! I am 35 days alcohol free today, tried quitting once before, but am doing better this time. I have been dwelling some on the past, unhappy about not being a good wife, daughter, aunt, sister, friend, or person with some of the choices I was making. I think you post, and this part of in particular are really going to help me out.

Congrats on being sober over 4 years!

joinedintime

Thanks for the great reaction. I wasn't sure that people would accept the thought that some good could come from having the alcoholic experience. I feel even better now.

Sugarbear, part of how I've stayed sober is that I was scared into a short period of not drinking and during that time I thought very hard about if I wanted to quit for good or not and if so, who was I really doing it for. I knew I couldn't quit unless I was doing it for me. Didn't have to be exclusively me, but I had to be main reason. Once I came to that conclusion I had a foundation to build on. I did some posts while I was in that stage if you care to look them up.

Pondlady, I can understand your comment about being more empathetic towards those struggling with addiction.....but not necessarily more patient. I think part of it is because I know there is little that can be done for someone that doesn't want it enough to be willing to suffer through the work.

Least, very happy for you getting up on 3 years. I always admired you during my first year here because, although you were struggling you were never afraid to stick around and talk about it. Plus, of course, you're a fellow dog lover!

Carol, thanks for thanking me for bringing this up. It means a lot.
"grateful recovering alcoholic""...gotta love that

Boleo *and sometimes it does it real slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwly

Blondie, it makes me very happy to see you say that you believe my post will help you. I found that reading posts from people from all stages of recovery was very helpful. Not all the posts help of course, you have to pick and choose what helps and not let any posts that don't help get in your way.

endlesspatience

I hear what you're saying. I have just been reading today's Daily Reflection and it speaks about the transformative power of prayer, meditation and self-examination. I don't think I would have considered those things seriously if I had not been pressed into thinking about them as a result of alcoholism and recovery. Not to say they are a magic trick for making me a better person but they could be part of a process of doing so, if I use them wisely and honestly.

Pondlady

joinedintime and least,

I am inspired by your records of sobriety.....I too will make it

jennikate

Totally relate to what you are saying. In the long run, I am not only striving to be a better person, I'm definitely a happier person. I do attribute that to doing the steps of AA. I am so much more tolerant, grateful, and optimistic than I was before. Maybe I had to walk through hell to get to the other side.

joinedintime

endlesspatience and jennilkate,
both of your comment reflect what I was driving at with my original post
thanks for expanding on it

wanderlust89

Thank you for posting about the benefits of quitting. It's very easy to get overwhelmed and distracted by glorifying the "good ol' days" I'm glad someone posted a reminder of how much better the good NEW days can be. I'm 15 days so far and have already noticed big changes in my mood. I like waking up and not being sick and I like not wasting my days hungover or sad. Onward!

Zencat

It was hell for me to go through the trials and tribulations of active addiction. Having come out the other side of that past mess allowed me to have greater confidence that I will be very committed to making good choices daily. I all ready have vast experience of making poor decisions. Now recognizing good moves to make in my life become more apparent.

CloudStrife

Makes complete sense. I tell this to myself everyday. I don't think I would have the level of compassion, humility, respect, and more if it were not for my alcoholism.

joinedintime

Yep, not having a hangover in years is right up near the top of the benefits list. I can't count how many times I'd have a deadly hangover and tell myself its time to quit. Then the next hangover would be worse from knowing that had not listened to myself....again!

Glad you're doing well wanderlust, I'm sure you know there will be tough days too but is is so so worth making it through those days.