theHomerSimpson

I have been a member here since 2003 I believe,sorry to come back with
less than positive news.I am still alcoholic,and smoke pot daily.I have had so many things happen since last here but somehow I am still waking every morning.I still drink 12-18 beers daily and smoke one marijuana cig plus pack and half of cigs,and,1mg klonopin at night,and,benadryl when needed.
I can be back for 10 mnutes or for 10 years,something always draws me back here.
Somewhere I do have a blog with my username included,but nothings changed.

Ranger05

Sorry to hear that man. Maybe try a rehab facility or something along those lines. Your really taking a chance by drinking that much and then taking a Klonopin at the end of the night. A deadly combination for sure. I hope you find some help soon. Hang in there!

theHomerSimpson

i am getting desperate for sobriety,im uncomfortable down to the spine

doggonecarl

Welcome. I understand desperate.

I think you should talk to a doctor before you consider quitting, as withdrawals can be serious.

You are considering quitting, aren't you?

GypsyHeart

doggone has a good suggestion. if you continually come back, then there is something there that wants to be sober. i'm of the opinion that it doesn't matter how many times you attempt to quit, it's the "keeping trying" part that matters the most. im new here and i'm a keep trying til i get there person. best wishes to you.

laurie6781

What are you going to do about it.

Over the years we here have offered all of our ES&H to you each time you post.

You have choices, have you made a choice yet?

Love and hugs,

theHomerSimpson

i truly have become wiser,i know i cant go on,not that its a disaster in life but everybody sick and tired as much as myself of invisible yet present me! i hate aa but will go in morning just to hear how others are worst off,misery loves company thing!
i am out of beer,and cigs are making me feel sick,as for klonopin? i am gonna take tonite,knowing its just a trade for alcohol,but to me seems like my better choice.
i have signed back up here,please leave harsh therapy out of this.I am trying again,
thats all I can promise at this time.

JayP

OK here goes: First, you sound addicted to a number of substances for a number of reasons. Substances=neutral Addictions=bad.
My opinion. Triage. 1st Alcohol causes the most damage to your life rhythm. 2nd Cigarettes the most damage to your personal health. Klonipin and 420 later. Focus on the Alcohol addiction. Go to regular AA AND Al-anon both. Daily if possible. You sound like you are presently one of those "I'm not THAT bad" addicts. Really? Not. That's why you only hear how much worse everyone ELSE is. The bad news is you are SCREWED UP INSIDE. The good news is YOU are screwed up inside. It's not a measure of how much, nor is it "their" fault or "it's " fault. It's simply YOU. That means YOU are the one that can best fix yourself.....But!....not right now!....Right now you need to create in yourself an ability to be truly humble and ALLOW others into your life that care about you and ALLOW them to help you THEIR way. Your way doesn't work. It never has. It never will. That's not a personal thing. It has no bearing on you as a valuable human. It's just data that needs to be updated.
Most importantly you need TIME, TIME, TIME.......the more time you have dealing with life in normal ways and letting normal life wash you clean of your old, destructive rhythms , the closer you will become to your true potential, and the farthest away you will be from that mess you created as an addict.
My .02 cents.
Let Life. Let Love.

Hevyn

Glad to see you back and reaching out for help. It shows you haven't given up on life.

Obviously you're not happy or comfortable with the way things are going. This could be the time you finally succeed in getting sober and staying that way. You can still turn everything around and have a good life. Please keep talking to us.

CarolD

Welcome back...

As you well know by now....AA is not the only way to quit and
stay quit. Not sure why you hate the program but if it's not for you
I seriously doubt you are going there to learn how it works.

My best suggestion is to have an honest talk with your doctor about
what de tox and treatment centers will give you the best chance to
break out of these destructive patterns you have.

theHomerSimpson

Thank you all for the words of encouragement.I am not gonna post here,if,I have been drinking again.I managed to get to this point of the day with no beer or weed,just went out and bought a medium cup of coffee,so basically today is a no alcohol day for me.Cant say I feel good but I do have a sense of relief that maybe/possibly I can get back on a sober track.Not gonna expect anything spectacular soon as I have fallen for that everytime in the past and relapsed directly where I had left off.
Quick update:still married after near divorce couple years ago,lost my job 1 year ago and still out because of no drive,made amends with sons as I no longer drank to 'very' intoxicated and usually spend my time with them sober.
I will keep in touch,and my pm box is open to all,although I dont use computer daily I will check very often.

tomsteve

sorry to hear how yer feeling but glad yer back. when and if ya go to the AA meeting, you may want to look for peace and serenity. we dont go for misery. we go to get away from it and help others do the same.

Tommyh

heck,I`ll be danged

homer,I been thinking of you lately for some reason
thinking if you was ok,or even still alive
man,it`s good to hear from you
how about coming back when you can and staying in touch with us?
there is a reason you keep coming back

Mark75

I would hate AA too, if all I heard was how bad off everyone is, misery, all that. I don't hear that message at AA meetings, I guess I'm lucky, or maybe I hear things differently, IDK.

ru12

Lots of people get sober without AA. Try Rational Recocery and AVRT. If that doesn't suit you, perhaps SMART or Life Ring might. Something has to change. You need to simply stop drinking and drugging. It gets easier each day and I've had a bunch of sober days now.