estelle

Hi,

Coming up to two months sober this week and I am feeling increasingly isolated from friends and family. I know part of the problem is my unwillingness to confide in those close to me about how I am feeling. My sister has confronted me for ignoring her stating that "it is a promise you will start drinking again".

I was wondering what other people's experiences of similar situations are or if anyone has any advice on how I should try and approach her after this arguement?

Thanks for reading x

pipparina

Estelle-

I have found that the only people who really get me and what I am going through in staying sober are other alcoholics. That is why it is so important to have some support system, whether it be AA or some other method of recovery, where you can share what is going on with you with someone who knows exactly what you are going through.
Although my family is supportive of me, they just don't know what it is like. I got sober with AA, and I never felt alone or isolated in my addiction again.

2granddaughters

estelle, I share how I am doing on an ongoing basis at the AA tables.

I get hope and direction from the oldtimers and helping the newcomers "keeps me out of me".

I have been through numerous stages of isolating (I can also sit in a room full of happy folks and feel like a hermit) and the answer for me is the meetings.

I wish you the best.

Bob R

tammy711

I am approaching 2 months as well and I am not much of a "sharer" (if you will). I don't go to AA meetings. I have started opening up to my husband about my feelings as I go through my recovery experiences. He is supportive so that helps. He wishes I talked to him more, but understands my nature to isolate.

Becoming sober is opening me up to the fact, I do have to share. It feels good. Especially when I want to drink. It is good to vocalize my desires thoughts. This website and reading the forums have helped me a great deal. I may one day try AA, not sure.

I haven't really told anyone in my family I quit. It is kind of interesting the few interactions I've had with them since August 27, 2012 that my lack of drinking just didn't come up. They were all situations I would normally drink.

I feel for you if you don't have support. How would I handle my sister if she made a statement about my sobriety the way yours did... I guess I would tell her it was hurtful. I would ask if she wanted to be supportive and helpful in my sobriety or should we only see each other when absolutely necessary until I was more stable and comfortable with my sobriety.

Family relationships are so unique. I wish you the best and do think you need to find someone or someones to have in your life that you can share your feelings and experiences.

My best.

hypochondriac

What Pipparina said. I think our addiction wants us isolated so it is important not to let that happen, but it's important to stay connected to the right people. Personally I have been isolating myself from my drinking buddies I found it very hard for months to hang out with people who were drinking casually and AA was a really safe place to be. And although my family try to be supportive, they don't really understand.

How are you feeling Estelle? Sometimes it is hard to be honest with family. If you felt like drinking and told them that they might panic, but it happens to all of us.

Well done on your upcoming 2 months! x

Auvers

Perhaps you could confide in your sister that you are working through your thoughts, distancing yourself from old habits. You just are not ready to talk. I found that it took awhile, especially to get past all the withdrawal blahs that drag on, before I felt a bit like sharing. Congrats on your sobriety.

NYCDoglvr

After 21 years of recovery in AA isolation is still something I battle. I recommend AA because there is enormous relief in talking to other alcoholics. We understand and have compassion for each other. Congratulations on two months!