all talk no action
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 116
all talk no action
I had a row with my other half. He said hes sick of me saying all the right things, but not commiting to recovery, i am very aware that hes starting to question our relationship, that scares the helll out of me tbh.
Even as we were arguing i was sipping beer whilst making the usual promises.
So heres me committing to action. I know its all talk again BUT ill show my partner, you lot and god, this time i mean business.
Anyway just wondered if before you got sober did you feel like you were all talk and no action and what changed things for you
Even as we were arguing i was sipping beer whilst making the usual promises.
So heres me committing to action. I know its all talk again BUT ill show my partner, you lot and god, this time i mean business.
Anyway just wondered if before you got sober did you feel like you were all talk and no action and what changed things for you
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welp, i didnt think i was all talk and no action, i was all talk and no action, no action to change me and my thinking. even when i got into recovery, the people who didnt completely throw me out of their lives didnt believe i was serious. i dont blame em one bit. my whole life was a lie.
what changed things for me was desperation. the pain of getting dunk exceeded the pain of reality and it was get help or take another drink and kill myself.
it took T.I.M.E. and footwork, footwork that i put in for me and me alone before anyone started trusting me again.
if this ex hopleless, helpless, useless, worthless drunk can stop dinking and change, so can you!
what changed things for me was desperation. the pain of getting dunk exceeded the pain of reality and it was get help or take another drink and kill myself.
it took T.I.M.E. and footwork, footwork that i put in for me and me alone before anyone started trusting me again.
if this ex hopleless, helpless, useless, worthless drunk can stop dinking and change, so can you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I lied to myself and everyboby around me about my drinking for way too many years....The action for me was admitting to myself I was alcoholic...Walking into an AA meeting...Admitting it to them....And asking for help. That was action....I haven't had a drink since.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I'm sure there were years of me talking about quitting drinking, and failing. Looking back, I failed because I thought sobriety was just a matter of intent. I intended to get sober, therefore I will.
Problem was, addiction cares less about intent.
I can say this though...when I truly wanted to get sober, it was different. I could feel it inside. The last time I said "I quit" I could tell I really meant it. Again, saying it means squat. I had to prove it by my actions, doing what ever it took to stay sober.
Problem was, addiction cares less about intent.
I can say this though...when I truly wanted to get sober, it was different. I could feel it inside. The last time I said "I quit" I could tell I really meant it. Again, saying it means squat. I had to prove it by my actions, doing what ever it took to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by cheese1 
I had a row with my other half. He said hes sick of me saying all the right things, but not commiting to recovery, i am very aware that hes starting to question our relationship, that scares the helll out of me tbh.
Even as we were arguing i was sipping beer whilst making the usual promises.
So heres me committing to action. I know its all talk again BUT ill show my partner, you lot and god, this time i mean business.
Anyway just wondered if before you got sober did you feel like you were all talk and no action and what changed things for you
Even as we were arguing i was sipping beer whilst making the usual promises.
So heres me committing to action. I know its all talk again BUT ill show my partner, you lot and god, this time i mean business.
Anyway just wondered if before you got sober did you feel like you were all talk and no action and what changed things for you
The action of getting on my knees every morning and re-committing my day to my Higher Power and AA has kept me sober for over 23 years.
I wish you the best in "your" choice of action.
Bob R.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,006
Cheese, you can do it, but it needs to come from within. I am sceptical of a lot of addiction talk, but one thing has proven itself to me personally:
if you keep going, it will get worse
The things I thought would never happen, happened. The things I said I would never do, I did.
It is a downward trajectory.
Life comes unglued one thing at a time. Don't go any further with this; get out now.
The words you say are meaningless, unless they are backed up by solid action. Don't worry about your words, worry about your actions.
if you keep going, it will get worse
The things I thought would never happen, happened. The things I said I would never do, I did.
It is a downward trajectory.
Life comes unglued one thing at a time. Don't go any further with this; get out now.
The words you say are meaningless, unless they are backed up by solid action. Don't worry about your words, worry about your actions.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Salem, Oregon
Posts: 2
I feel ya...
I'm dealing with this in therapy right now. I know what I need to do to change it's just a matter of falling through. Hopefully I will be able to work through this soon with support from my family and councilors. Keep at it...You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 14
I was all talk and no action until I hit my bottom. Luckily my bottom was not as low as it was for others, but I wish I had decided I found my bottom sooner... would have saved a lot of pain.
The sooner you decide you've hit your bottom, so much the better. You don't need to go any further with drinking... it will only bring you lower than you are now. Or I should say it only would bring you lower, but not if you stay committed to your recovery!
The sooner you decide you've hit your bottom, so much the better. You don't need to go any further with drinking... it will only bring you lower than you are now. Or I should say it only would bring you lower, but not if you stay committed to your recovery!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I wrote you this really long response......erased it.
Sometimes it takes a few tries. Sometimes we have to fall a few more times. Don't ever give up.
You might need face to face sober people in your life. AA is a great place for that. Leave no stone unturned in this journey. Find what works for you and run like h*** with it.
Sometimes it takes a few tries. Sometimes we have to fall a few more times. Don't ever give up.
You might need face to face sober people in your life. AA is a great place for that. Leave no stone unturned in this journey. Find what works for you and run like h*** with it.
Euphoric Recaller
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: PHX Suburbs
Posts: 371
To some extent I was taking action so long as it was me deciding what action I needed to take.
It all changed for me when my drinking/using became far worse than I ever imagined it could be. I then knew that all my ideas had done nothing to get and keep me sober. I stop deciding what action I needed to take and started taking the action that sober people suggested I take. It was a novel idea and it worked like a charm. Imagine that...
It all changed for me when my drinking/using became far worse than I ever imagined it could be. I then knew that all my ideas had done nothing to get and keep me sober. I stop deciding what action I needed to take and started taking the action that sober people suggested I take. It was a novel idea and it worked like a charm. Imagine that...
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