Does it REALLY get better?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 23
Does it REALLY get better?
I think this is a way for people to encorrige people to stick with soberity. But for me has no truth at all.
When I first got out of rehab it felt awesome the first few weeks. Now nearly 3 months later things in my life are going good. But inside I want a drink so bad its hard to describe. Even the thought of drinking is euphoric and so real cause I can do it any time. Its like this heaven thats just right there an I can go to it any time I choose. The thought i can do it is comforting.
But so far I have not cause it would probably bring me to relapse, lose alot of what I have accomplished so far. I think about how the benifits out weight the coasts of not drinking by a long shot. But even then I think risking it all just for drinking.
I want to so bad, but also want to stay sober so bad.
Its like im battiling emotions, I really do feel like crying sometimes, But I only get the feeling when Im at work. Its like I just want to cry about my struggle, my past with drinking, my troubles i had before alcohol. But there is no one to cry to.
When I first got out of rehab it felt awesome the first few weeks. Now nearly 3 months later things in my life are going good. But inside I want a drink so bad its hard to describe. Even the thought of drinking is euphoric and so real cause I can do it any time. Its like this heaven thats just right there an I can go to it any time I choose. The thought i can do it is comforting.
But so far I have not cause it would probably bring me to relapse, lose alot of what I have accomplished so far. I think about how the benifits out weight the coasts of not drinking by a long shot. But even then I think risking it all just for drinking.
I want to so bad, but also want to stay sober so bad.
Its like im battiling emotions, I really do feel like crying sometimes, But I only get the feeling when Im at work. Its like I just want to cry about my struggle, my past with drinking, my troubles i had before alcohol. But there is no one to cry to.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
We are all here for you EternalWinter, its tough for sure. Try to remember all of the pain & torture that alcohol brought into your life. I have been learning about AVRT lately. its a pretty cool technique to use when that alcoholic voice is trying to tell you to have one drink. Search AVRT on these forums or in google.
All of the best to you & your recovery
All of the best to you & your recovery
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I wouldn't be here nearly 6 years later saying it got better if it didn't, EW.
It took a while tho - longer than 3 months for me...but then I drank for 20 years.
I had to learn to be happy, and learn to be happy sober - that took work, time and energy....and a little faith and patience.
What have you done for recovery besides not drinking?
D
It took a while tho - longer than 3 months for me...but then I drank for 20 years.
I had to learn to be happy, and learn to be happy sober - that took work, time and energy....and a little faith and patience.
What have you done for recovery besides not drinking?
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Water's Edge
Posts: 239
Please try to hang in there with your sobriety. With almost 3 months sobriety, you are getting close to a time when your body and brain will reflect healing from the damages of alcohol. Read up on nutritional supplements to take to help with the repairs, like all the B vitamins and niacin. Get exercise and eat healthy meals. If you need emotional support, try a group recovery meeting. If you can commit to more time sober, it will not be long before you will feel the benefits.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
yeah - just not drinking wasn't enough for me EW.
I needed to get at those things that drove me to drinking in the first place- otherwise they'd resurface again... and if the only tool I have for dealing with them is drinking...I'm in trouble.
I had a void in me...I tried to fill it with drugs and booze - nothing worked...working on healing the void worked...and I found I could finally start to be happy
Counselling really helped me but it all depends on why you're not happy, I guess EW?
D
I needed to get at those things that drove me to drinking in the first place- otherwise they'd resurface again... and if the only tool I have for dealing with them is drinking...I'm in trouble.
I had a void in me...I tried to fill it with drugs and booze - nothing worked...working on healing the void worked...and I found I could finally start to be happy
Counselling really helped me but it all depends on why you're not happy, I guess EW?
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 91
I have almost 6 years sober. At some point every year it has been difficult to not drink, but every year it gets better and easier. I relapsed twice at 3 months before I finally quit. It seems like a really difficult time for many people. What I can say though is my mind and lifestyle was still very effected by the years of drinking even though I felt sober. It was only around a year sober that I feel I began to get some perspective and clarity. If i had any advice other than just get through each day sober, it's to try to get to one year no matter what. You'll be surprised at how much things can change.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi EternalWinter. I sympathize, but for me the thought of drinking didn't remind me at all of heaven. By the time I quit my life was a living hell, so I knew better. I will say that it took me awhile - 6 mos. or more - to feel comfortable in my own skin. I had numbed myself for so long, I needed to learn how to live without being in a constant fog.
You have many here who understand. Glad you posted about your feelings. We all know what you're going through.
You have many here who understand. Glad you posted about your feelings. We all know what you're going through.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by EternalWinter 
Its like im battiling emotions, I really do feel like crying sometimes, But I only get the feeling when Im at work. Its like I just want to cry about my struggle, my past with drinking, my troubles i had before alcohol. But there is no one to cry to.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South Boston
Posts: 547
I hope and pray that it does and everyone I've heard from in AA says it does as do the sober people on here...so I assume it will.
One thing I know is that if you keep drinking nothing will changes and things will only continue to get worse.
I hope you feel better soon. Getting sober really is the only way. Alcohol might numb you temporarily but then you wake up hang over, even more depressed, overall you have no motivation to do anything, you hurt the people you love, you lie, you blackout...you don't want all that right?
I know how you feel. All I want to do is cry to. And the only person I want to cry to is locked up in jail and the rest of the people I know are 100 miles away. I find going to meetings help be feel less isolated and alone. It's been a relief for me even when I just sit and listen you find understanding and compassion there just like you do here.
I truly hope you feel better soon, know that you are NOT alone even tho it feels that way.
One thing I know is that if you keep drinking nothing will changes and things will only continue to get worse.
I hope you feel better soon. Getting sober really is the only way. Alcohol might numb you temporarily but then you wake up hang over, even more depressed, overall you have no motivation to do anything, you hurt the people you love, you lie, you blackout...you don't want all that right?
I know how you feel. All I want to do is cry to. And the only person I want to cry to is locked up in jail and the rest of the people I know are 100 miles away. I find going to meetings help be feel less isolated and alone. It's been a relief for me even when I just sit and listen you find understanding and compassion there just like you do here.
I truly hope you feel better soon, know that you are NOT alone even tho it feels that way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Ct.
Posts: 173
Sometimes grieving can be good, and empowering, healing. It's the poor me, self pity stuff that just seems to go in circles, that's destructive. I think over time you learn to know the difference between the two, best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Oh yes, it gets better, and better!
From your post I can identify, those first few months a roller coaster ride to be sure. My experience is that I had a powerful 2nd and 3rd step, and then cleaned house in the subsequent steps. I found relief.
You can have the same experience... it takes some work, though. Look into AA, they all know how you feel right now, and you can learn to do what they did. It works.
From your post I can identify, those first few months a roller coaster ride to be sure. My experience is that I had a powerful 2nd and 3rd step, and then cleaned house in the subsequent steps. I found relief.
You can have the same experience... it takes some work, though. Look into AA, they all know how you feel right now, and you can learn to do what they did. It works.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by EternalWinter
I think this is a way for people to encorrige people to stick with soberity. But for me has no truth at all.
After 3 months, surely some truth exists for you that things get better when any of us, including you, don't drink. Something important helped you quit, and that something is still helping you today to stay quit...
Quitting is a choice, and when we beat ourselves up for whatever reason around how we feel/think about quitting/drinking, we are forced to either change things up for the better, and stay quit, or eventually give up, get lousy, and return to drinking.
The buck stops with us, no matter we like it or not. There is no more running, or hiding, or pretending after we quit for awhile... the truth becomes obvious... successfully quit or suffer and return to drinking, and then likewise suffer from that too, because the alcohol won't be the answer your looking for, as you already know so well, which is why you have 3 months of sobriety, yeah?
3 months. Something to start a whole life with, you know?
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
eternalwinter,
I relate to what you are saying. For me, not drinking/using was not enough to keep me sober long term. When that was all I was doing, it was merely an exercise in self control. And inevitably, something would happen that made "controlling" it not worth the effort. Because I did not have any other way to address the feelings that had led to my drinking and using.
My recovery program is NOT about me not drinking, it is about me consciously learning and practicing life skills that give me options other than drinking when uncomfortable feelings come up.
My not drinking doesn't make life, what goes on in my outside world, change. But it gives me the opportunity to learn to enjoy life rather than hide from it. I am using that opportunity to work a recovery program that focuses on repairing my relationship with myself and with my life. I don't have to turn to drinking, because now I have better options.
Before I got into recovery, I only had two options, drink or not drink. Now I have many options, because I've learned many new thought and behavior patterns.
I relate to what you are saying. For me, not drinking/using was not enough to keep me sober long term. When that was all I was doing, it was merely an exercise in self control. And inevitably, something would happen that made "controlling" it not worth the effort. Because I did not have any other way to address the feelings that had led to my drinking and using.
My recovery program is NOT about me not drinking, it is about me consciously learning and practicing life skills that give me options other than drinking when uncomfortable feelings come up.
My not drinking doesn't make life, what goes on in my outside world, change. But it gives me the opportunity to learn to enjoy life rather than hide from it. I am using that opportunity to work a recovery program that focuses on repairing my relationship with myself and with my life. I don't have to turn to drinking, because now I have better options.
Before I got into recovery, I only had two options, drink or not drink. Now I have many options, because I've learned many new thought and behavior patterns.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 72
I heard sovriety once described as "life gets a little harder, but it also gets **alot** better". It made alot of sense to me - since we typically drink to drown out the "hard" stuff. And when we don't deal with life on life's terms, it's a domino effect of life not working.
And in my own life, it seems to be true. Hang in there.
And in my own life, it seems to be true. Hang in there.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Hang in there! I was still a little shaky in my sobriety at 3 months. Give yourself more time. I've found that it got a WHOLE LOT better the further I got away from that alcoholic mindset. After 3+ years it still gets better and better for me.
yippeeeee it does..!!!!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
Do you have a sponsor????? Are you going to meetings???????????? Do you have numbers of people in the program?????????????
Are you working steps 1, 2 and 3???
Sponsors and other people are there to talk to, meetings are for sharing all this stuff.
Ngaire
Are you working steps 1, 2 and 3???
Sponsors and other people are there to talk to, meetings are for sharing all this stuff.
Ngaire
Originally Posted by EternalWinter
I think this is a way for people to encorrige people to stick with soberity. But for me has no truth at all.
When I first got out of rehab it felt awesome the first few weeks. Now nearly 3 months later things in my life are going good. But inside I want a drink so bad its hard to describe. Even the thought of drinking is euphoric and so real cause I can do it any time. Its like this heaven thats just right there an I can go to it any time I choose. The thought i can do it is comforting.
But so far I have not cause it would probably bring me to relapse, lose alot of what I have accomplished so far. I think about how the benifits out weight the coasts of not drinking by a long shot. But even then I think risking it all just for drinking.
I want to so bad, but also want to stay sober so bad.
Its like im battiling emotions, I really do feel like crying sometimes, But I only get the feeling when Im at work. Its like I just want to cry about my struggle, my past with drinking, my troubles i had before alcohol. But there is no one to cry to.
When I first got out of rehab it felt awesome the first few weeks. Now nearly 3 months later things in my life are going good. But inside I want a drink so bad its hard to describe. Even the thought of drinking is euphoric and so real cause I can do it any time. Its like this heaven thats just right there an I can go to it any time I choose. The thought i can do it is comforting.
But so far I have not cause it would probably bring me to relapse, lose alot of what I have accomplished so far. I think about how the benifits out weight the coasts of not drinking by a long shot. But even then I think risking it all just for drinking.
I want to so bad, but also want to stay sober so bad.
Its like im battiling emotions, I really do feel like crying sometimes, But I only get the feeling when Im at work. Its like I just want to cry about my struggle, my past with drinking, my troubles i had before alcohol. But there is no one to cry to.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by EternalWinter
To be honest I havent done anything, besides not drinking and just things to get my mind off it. like work
What did rehab tell you to do when they released you? Mine told me to go to AA.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
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