yayday

i lurk here quite often. i actually went 17 or so days sober a month or so ago. i like to maintain a state of comfortably numb & was angry all those sober days. i want a whole new life. i want out of the marriage i am in. i reached out to my sisters & told them all i've been thru it in it & not close enough to any of the 4 of them to really feel i have someone to hold my hand to get out...i've a feeling they all have a problem w/ alcohol too. lost my dad in july he was 90 & that was not a good relationship and i feel bad that i'm relieved it's over...he was so narrow minded & we didn't have a good relationship. i feel i was an oops in my family because of the age difference in me & my sisters we were never close. my mom suddenly died when i was 13 & it was just me & him & i ran wild, he didn't know what to do with me & let it go. i started drinking regularly about 3 1/2 years ago when he broke his ankle & the only sister i have who lives in town had me going there every other day...i saw him as mean & ornery & he was angry & didn't want to accept help. anyway, i know this a hodge podge of crap. i wish i could find a dr drew for help. i know many of you are into AA but i was raised catholic & all the disgusting things about that i'm not into god & stuff...guess i'm just feeling so lost

yayday

i just feel like it's me, myself & i ....& drinking is easier to get me thru the day

Dee74

welcome back yayday

if you want a secular approach to recovery there's a lot of options

here's some links to some of the main players (including but not limited to AA):

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach

Feel free to lurk less and post more - this place really helped me
D

Sapling

This was the thing that got me...So fricken alone...I use AA...You don't have to.....You don't have to believe in God to use it either.....So don't close the door on it....You might need it some day. It was the only place I could find where I wasn't so fricken alone. Glad you're here yayday.

NewBeginning010

Welcome to SR, you deserve a healthy, happy, sober life. You can do this

yayday

and this is my life...i can put my feelings out in front of god & everybody & who cares??

yayday

so whiskey is my friend

yayday

because i get no response...

Dee74

Looks to me like you got 3 responses yayday
I was one of them.

I'm not going to take any responsibility for your decision, I'm afraid.
If you need help don't be afraid to bump the thread or start a new one.

did you check out any of those links I posted?

D

Scolova

Dump out the junk!
The emotional rollercoaster only gets worse the more you hop aboard.
I used to get very 'down & alone' while drinking, it was not healthy for me both mentally and physically. Clouded my view of life and made me lash out irrationally at anything\anyone.
Try writing some more or maybe get some good sleep.
Wishing you the best.

yayday

some good sleep might be nice...never sleep enough

maybe just bad times...picked up a car trunk load of pictures from my dads today that nobody else wanted

yayday

ironic thing...they were packed in alcohol boxes ~ wine, whiskey...

Dee74

I'm sorry you had a bad day yayday - but drinking never really helps does it?

I can recommend the Class of September thread Yayday - you'll always find support there.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-6-a-4.html

D

Scolova

Yeah, I'm sure it's rough for you right now. Everyone I knew use to drink, heavy, had to separate from them to get clean, well worth it.