Athena1

I don't think I meet the diagnostic criteria for alcoholism of even alcohol dependency, but I definitely abuse it. Some nights I don't drink at all, and on some nights I'll drink just a few (3) wine coolers over the course of 5 hours, but a few nights a week I indulge in drinking whisky and get just smashed.

I've been considering myself okish, but tonight I had to take my mom to the ER to detox. Again. Sigh. And my brother does NOTHING every day all day besides drink Jaagermeister (sp) and whisky. And he gone psycho. Ugh.

But me? Well I've had anxiety my whole life, but I've started having full-on severe panic attacks that last for hours, and I had one today while deciding my mom needs to go to the ER. (She had a week off work and drank nonstop and ate nothing, then took a second week off and did the same, and now she's shaking and having body jerking spells if she goes more than 6 hours without drinking and is too weak to take a shower.)

Anyway, today's panic attack was so extreme I kinda really HAD to drink, and that's never happened to me before. I downed a few wine coolers as fast as I could and it went away. But this is NOT ok. I think binge drinking on whisky a few times a week might have given me a substance-abuse induced anxiety disorder or something.

BTW, before I became allergic to beer last year I was always a "drink till I pass out" person, but wine coolers sit so heavy on my stomach, I feel zero impulse to do that with them, and never have done it. Whisky, OTOH, totally triggers that in me. (I never drank whisky before the beer allergy thing happened, either. Too scared of it. But I missed feeling intoxicated and changed my rules of harm minimization.)

I'm not on a good path and I know it, so I guess this is where I need to be.

Live2Run25

I feel like you think the wine coolers are ok. You really want to get away from ALL OF IT. Alcohol creates anxiety, and depression, so if you've always had a problem, alcohol is just going to exacerbate that. Sooner or later the 3 wine coolers won't be enough and you'll be chugging more and more. If you have to drink to get your moods under control, you're probably an alcoholic. Alcoholism is progressive. If you have a problem with Whiskey, you'll have a problem with everything sooner or later. I really hope you can get off this path and find a better sober one!!!

((((HUGS))))

katysue22

In my experience(and i only speak for myself), my alcoholism was never about what i drank or how much i drank. It was about what it did to me. I was in a relationship with someone who drank and used the same quantities i did for some time, but it just did not have the same consequences for him as it did for me, because he wasn't an alcoholic and i was.

My drinking career only spanned 7 years. For 4 of those, i just had a few drinks on a Friday night in the pub. Even when i was a student, which is the BEST environment for fully fledged alcoholism. Then i started having a couple of glasses of wine in the evenings "to help me sleep" because i was stressed from work. Or because i was anxious about things in my life (including, incidently, my alcoholic mother). Those couple of glasses graduated into a bottle. Within 2 years, i was drinking around the clock. Literally having to have a glass of wine before i could even get inthe shower.

I don't say this to scare you, just to explain how my alcoholism progressed. I know that it was really quick for me - i am in AA and i hear of many people who had drinking careers that progressed far more slowly. But, if you are an alcoholic of my type, it will always progress.

Just be mindful of yourself. If you are concerned, stop drinking. If you struggle with stopping, SoberRecovery is a great way to find some support with that. No one can call anyone else an alcoholic, apart from themselves.

I hope you're ok and that things with your famiyl improve.

xx

CarolD

I certainly hope you will soon quit drinking...you are wise
to see that alcohol is not working for you

I did read your post in Newcomers..
obviously you know how to quit...staying quit is going
to be where your work must begin...IMO

Many SR members are winning over alcohol useing a variety
of concepts ideas and some use a more structured program.
Please do keep trying until you find something that will
improve your life.

Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum...

lostinchaos

I agree that alcohol does not help solve issues or anxiety. I to have sever anxiety due to an addict husband however when things get very stressful I have found even though I don't drink much or that often that when I do it actually can make matters worse including how I feel worse in the long run. I have had to be very careful not to let the stress and anxiety push me to drink as I usually regret I did the next day, and I guess that is truthfully how all this can get started so easily. I am finding other ways to deal with the stress of being codependant and not allow it to push me in the same direction for the same reasons that others say how it all got started. Excerise, Reading, and sometime just talking to someone to vent can be much better then taking a drink as that just cover's it up temporarily and leads down the same path you are fighting against with others.....I wish you luck with finding your "nich" on how to handle the stress and anxiety in a different more productive way.

MrDavid

I’m from the same boat as you, Athena. Alcohol helped me ‘escape’ the cultural anomalies I was so accustomed to growing up, just like a lot of people. From my impoverished beginnings to my lack of social interaction, I never quite fit in. So, for me, alcohol became the social lubricant I was searching for, or so I thought. The truth was; I became more ‘habitual drawn’ with every drink -culminating into something much, much worse. But that was then. Fast forward 11 years later and you’ll find a completely different person today, sober of course. So my suggestion Athena is quite simple: Don’t fret over this, it can only get better from here.

Why did I drink? Two fold really: Alcohol became a stress reliever of sorts and my key to fitting in, I supposed. The truth, however, was much, much different. I was just a scared little boy in a grown man’s world, and with very few coping skills. So alcohol became my magic elixir. When my stress level increased so did the demand for more alcohol. It became the driving force behind my failure to grow up. But, again that was then.

Like others have already said: "There’s a way out for us" -which means…not having to drink. There are many recovery platforms at our disposal today, including: Rehabs, treatment centers, A.A. and even recovery forums like this one. So I suggest you stick around and enjoy the company. It’s a 'sober' decision you’ll never regret. Welcome to Sober Recovery.