Lea123

I normally drink about once a week, could be more, could be less. I often find myself wanting to get "wasted." But lately, I've been scared to do so. I'm scared because I don't know what I'm going to do or if I'll even remember what I've done. I will do anything. I find myself disgusting. I've hurt my friends and my family. I've hurt myself. Yet, I don't want to change. As scared as I am of the concequences, I just don't want to stop. Why can't I just admit to myself that this is a problem?

Vall

Dear Lea123,

It's always hard to admit we have a problem. The fact that you are thinking about it is a great start.

Read on here and you may find your answer :>

Take care

Sugarfix

You have admitted to yourself its a problem, none of us would be here if we weren't concerned about it.

And there seems to be lots of new members all the time!

Alcoholism is rubbish. It's a constant battle!

Dee74

Hi Lea
Welcome

I think everyone here knows how you feel...on some level, I wanted to change my life...without changing my life.

It's of course impossible.

It's natural to be scared of such a massive change...but you're not alone here.

you'll find a lot of support and encouragement - this is a great place to be
D

RobbyRobot

When I didn't want to stop, I of course also wouldn't admit I had a problem. I didn't want a problem with drinking because I could still feel better drinking than not drinking really, and so that made changing very difficult.

I had to dig deeper into myself, past what alcohol was doing to me, past all the day to day horrors of my drinking life, and get more into my core -- the place where honesty and truth still ruled, you know?

You can do alot better then whatever drinking is doing or not doing for you...

You can still quit even though you don't always want to quit. You can. I did.

Sorry for your troubles, Lea.

pipparina

why don't you just give it a try? Ask yourself to stop for 30 days, and see how it feels. If you think drinking is better for your life than not, it is your choice. But I bet you'll find sobriety is a lot better!

And read some of the stories on here. You don't need to lose a lot in life to decide it is time to stop. As I've heard, you can get off the elevator at any floor - doesn't have to be the bottom.

Needsassistance

Great message pipp. I tinkered around with trying to "control" and wrestle with " i dont i have a problem"' etc. unfortunately it took me till the bottom floor to get off. 60 sober days later I feel great, only wish I got off a few floors earlier...

Red79

just be proud of yourself now!!

pipparina

NeedsAssistance
We get off when we have to. I knew for a long time I had a drinking problem, but it never occurred to me to stop. I just tried controlling it. I was very responsible other than when I was so hung over i couldn't move. So how could I be an alcoholic? The day I realized it was terrifying. Yet with that terror came the willingness to stop. And I never looked back

I consider every one of those drunken episodes necessary to get me to that day of divine intervention. So don't look back. Be happy you got off the elevator at all

CarolD

Lee...Welcome to our recovery community....

When drinking made me detest the woman I had become...tho outwardely all seemed ok to me and my social circle of drinkers

.I became ready to find a sober positive future without alcohol....

I do hope you will explore sober options with an open mind and heart..