In a huge mess because of my drinking
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by onlythetruth 
No....no contact, no matter what she says or does. Trust me on this Slaytallideth. I am a female and was a young, immature female once. Total silence. She WILL live, I promise you. And if you drink, you're only hurting yourself and not helping the situation one little bit.
By the way, you've got more than one support program to choose from, and you can use elements of more than one program if you like. SMART, for example, has meetings in Baltimore, and at least two meetings every day through the website.
By the way, you've got more than one support program to choose from, and you can use elements of more than one program if you like. SMART, for example, has meetings in Baltimore, and at least two meetings every day through the website.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Obladi
Slay, I am the mom of a 14-year old girl who would tell you she's 16 if she thought she could get your interest. She might show those texts to her girlfriends, but I doubt it! She would keep those as her secret treasure to prove to herself she is alluring and interesting.
And I would tell her (have told her!) that there is something seriously not right about interest from a 21-year old man. She would think I don't understand, that I just don't see how grown she is, as clearly evidenced by the fact that a grown man "really sees" her.
I know you said you are cutting off contact with her, but I am here to reinforce this with you. If you haven't already said so straight out, the last bit of communication should be "I had no business doing what I did. It was inappropriate and wrong and I just want you to know that this is the last time I will communicate with you. I''m truly sorry." Then set her number to ring directly to voice mail and delete all texts and voice mails before you read/listen to them.
You sound like a nice guy, compassionate and decent (when you're not drunk). She may react very emotionally to what you have said/done. Believe me, this is totally normal. And if you're not used to dealing with adolescent girls, you may be convinced this is the end of the world for her. I have three girls and it's taken me years to understand that the most recent hurt IS the end of the world, right this moment. But tomorrow is some new trauma/drama.
Hopefully it will all blow over and you will follow through on making changes that will prevent you from repeating this mess.
And I would tell her (have told her!) that there is something seriously not right about interest from a 21-year old man. She would think I don't understand, that I just don't see how grown she is, as clearly evidenced by the fact that a grown man "really sees" her.
I know you said you are cutting off contact with her, but I am here to reinforce this with you. If you haven't already said so straight out, the last bit of communication should be "I had no business doing what I did. It was inappropriate and wrong and I just want you to know that this is the last time I will communicate with you. I''m truly sorry." Then set her number to ring directly to voice mail and delete all texts and voice mails before you read/listen to them.
You sound like a nice guy, compassionate and decent (when you're not drunk). She may react very emotionally to what you have said/done. Believe me, this is totally normal. And if you're not used to dealing with adolescent girls, you may be convinced this is the end of the world for her. I have three girls and it's taken me years to understand that the most recent hurt IS the end of the world, right this moment. But tomorrow is some new trauma/drama.
Hopefully it will all blow over and you will follow through on making changes that will prevent you from repeating this mess.
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Location: Midwest USA
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I just hope I don't see you on that show with Chris Hanson jumping out & asking you "what did you plan on doing?" I hope she doesn't have any older brothers. The thing you should focus on though is that you are in this position because of booze.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble
Now that the situation with the girl seems to be resolved, do you still want to talk about this? Because it sounds to me like maybe the problem isn't the situation with her, or even those embarrassing messages. Possible those are just symptoms of the real problem? I gotta tell you, there's more where that came from, and worse...
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Yikes. You are only 20 and already have a huge tolerance. A 30pack in a day and a half is a lot. I assume you do not get withdrawals yet? Trust me when I say at the level of drinking you eventually will. I "partied" in my 20's and destroyed my life in my 30's with booze. Try a few meetings before you turn 21.
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Originally Posted by Justfor1
Yikes. You are only 20 and already have a huge tolerance. A 30pack in a day and a half is a lot. I assume you do not get withdrawals yet? Trust me when I say at the level of drinking you eventually will. I "partied" in my 20's and destroyed my life in my 30's with booze. Try a few meetings before you turn 21.
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by Slaytallideth
Yeah kinda 
but I put it to good use this time at least.
but I put it to good use this time at least.Just sayin.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
Originally Posted by Slaytallideth
you get really drunk and then get a sober friend to push you through brutal amounts of exercise you can't feel the pain as much so you push harder.
However, my overall physical shape never improved while drinking. Nor did my swimming, and I was doing it daily to balance out all the beer calories. Alcohol upsets your metabolism so that you accumulate less muscle and burn less fat while processing it.
Look it up. Trust me, beer is neither a performance-enhancing drug nor a health drink...
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
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Originally Posted by Slaytallideth
I don't know, I get cravings haha. I did find a use for alcohol today, though. If you get really drunk and then get a sober friend to push you through brutal amounts of exercise you can't feel the pain as much so you push harder. I feel like this might be the first time I've constructively used alcohol in my life.
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As far as I'm concerned exercising & getting drunk is like drinking and driving. They don't mix. You can drown swimming or run some one over drunk as a skunk on a bike. You can even get a Bicycling Under the Influence. Alcohol also dehydrates you & the exercising could cause dangerous blood pressure.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Don't give up.
It won't kill you if you don't let it.
You can be sober. You can lead a fulfilling life free from alcohol. You're young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do.
All it takes is a decision and a commitment, Slaytallideath. You don't have to do it any longer.
It won't kill you if you don't let it.
You can be sober. You can lead a fulfilling life free from alcohol. You're young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do.
All it takes is a decision and a commitment, Slaytallideath. You don't have to do it any longer.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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"If you get really drunk and then get a sober friend to push you"
If you like "sober people to push you" then read the posts above. There is a whole group trying to "push you" to a sober, better, meaningful life. The type of life that many have worked for.
Don't give up on being sober. May sound strange but you need to fight for it by surrending. Get help. Attend AA, or SMART, or study AVRT or whatever real, face-to-face help that you need to save your life.
Dying from alcohol is not an easy road. Many of us have seen it up close. It is often slow and painful. Maybe even worse is the many lives that you affect and screw up along the way. That is a tough burden to carry regardless of whether you live or die. You don't want to go there.
If you need a push then I am pushing. GET HELP!
If you like "sober people to push you" then read the posts above. There is a whole group trying to "push you" to a sober, better, meaningful life. The type of life that many have worked for.
Don't give up on being sober. May sound strange but you need to fight for it by surrending. Get help. Attend AA, or SMART, or study AVRT or whatever real, face-to-face help that you need to save your life.
Dying from alcohol is not an easy road. Many of us have seen it up close. It is often slow and painful. Maybe even worse is the many lives that you affect and screw up along the way. That is a tough burden to carry regardless of whether you live or die. You don't want to go there.
If you need a push then I am pushing. GET HELP!
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