Slaytallideth

I know I Have a drinking problem but I'm still struggling with it. Had a major relapse last night an got completely hammered. Come home, and this girl starts messaging me on Facebook. She is only 16 (im almost 21) but I know her really well due to the fact that I used to be really good friends with her ex boyfriend. Well the last time I got drunk (about one month ago) me and her started drunk chatting and saying how much we loved each other. I saw her the next day and apologized and all that stuff. Turns out she really likes me and she was crushed. But I moved on and I think she did too. So then last night I relapsed and she hit me up (apparently she was drunk, but she remembers the whole convo) and I said some really, really inappropriate things to her. And I again told her how much I loved her and crap. And now she wants to hang out. I mean, she's only 16 and I don't want to crush her like I did last time (plus I need to handle this diplomatically because she has all those inappropriate messages). I guess, I'm just asking for advice from others who have done stupid stuff drunk like this. Also, any tips to keep me away font the alcohol? I'm a magnet to it and I fear by drinking last night I'll head back to my old ways of drinking all day, every day.

Pondlady

You don't have to behave like this and have no memory of it, make last night's drinks your last. Apologize to her and tell her the truth, you were drunk, inappropriate and are too old for her.

Slaytallideth

I'm gonna try, but sometimes it's hard to keep from drinking. But I have an iron will so I know I can overcome the drinking. The problem with this girl, though, is she is probably going to get really upset when I tell her for a second time I was drunk talking. And she won't buy the age thing because the age of consent is 16 here. Go figure.

Dee74

You know it Slay - you might be the nicest guy in the world, the age of consent might be 16 where you are...but this isn't good.

the last thing this impressionable young girl needs is an older guy who life is a mess, by his own admission, and who is battling a drinking problem.

Do the right thing and tell her the truth, cut her loose.

As for drinking - I found it hard to keep from drinking too - I needed to change my life.

What changes are you prepared to make?

D

Pondlady

The fact this has happened twice, is because you were drunk both times. It won't happen again, if you don't drink.

I didn't realize different states had different ages of consent.

Stop drinking....put your will of iron to work!

Slaytallideth

I know it's not good and I recognize that. But she can't see that. Honestly, I don't think she is mature enough to see that. I'm just afraid she might go off the deep end this second time :/

I'm not sure what changes I want to make when it comes to drinking, I just know it has to stop. I was doing so good for a while there too. But it aback to square one. I hate alcohol. I hate the control it has over my life.

suki44883

The fact that the age of consent is 16 is irrelevant. The years between 16 and 21 are crucial years and you are WAY too old for her. You have to be honest with her and if she gets upset, she'll just have to get upset. You cannot do anything about that. You need to stay away from her. Block her number on your phone. If you don't, chances are you will end up getting into some serious trouble over this.

Dee74

not telling her is not going to do either of you any favours either.
D

Slaytallideth

That's what I'm worried about. I mean, I know legally I can't get in trouble. But, obviously I know it's wrong. I just don't know what to do with those messages I sent her. I mean they were 100% out of line,completley inappropriate.

suki44883

There is nothing you can do about those messages. They have been sent and you cannot take them back. Hopefully, you will learn from this and not allow it to happen again. Hope you get yourself some help for your drinking issues.

Justfor1

This is like that show, "To Catch A Predator". Seriously, this can be a very dangerous situation. When I was drunk I always seemed to get myself into dangerous situations. When I sobered up I became terrified dealing with the situation & end up drinking again and again.

Slaytallideth

I would if I knew where to turn. I don't want to go to AA because 1) I imagine it's all people twice my age and 2) the local AA meetings here happen at like 8pm. I work the night shift so I can't ever make them.

Pondlady

Don't make a bad situation worse by keeping in touch with this girl. If you hate alcohol, focus on getting it out of your life.

Slaytallideth

And that's the problem, I want to drink more to avoid the problem that drinking got me in. It's taking a ton of restraint right now not to drink.

Pondlady

Slay, You will find support for your drinking issues here with us. There are AA on line meetings and several other methods of recovery, which I'm sure others more experience than me, will share with you.

suki44883

There are dozens of AA meetings in Baltimore. Click on this link to find one at a time you can attend.

Baltimore Intergroup Council

Dee74

Like Suki said, there are a large amount of meetings available in MD if you want to go the AA route...

I think you might get a lot out of them too, regardless of how old the other guys are there...

but you'll never know if you never try

D

Slaytallideth

Wow! Never knew there were so many. That helps a lot. I may just go to one this week. But I've still got to figure out how to tell this girl it's over and that I'm cutting off contact with her. That's gonna be a tough one.

tomsteve

the only way them people at AA got to be twice yer age is because they stopped drinking. there are many poeple in and around yer age in AA. one of the best open speakers i have heard in AA was a woamn who was 42 years old and had been sober throug AA for 28 years.

you can drink all ya want, but sooner or later yer gonna have to Face Everything And Recover. i am sure that you, like me, can look at yer past and see that drinking never worked.
please make the decision to not pick up that 1st drink.

Jitterbugg

I have done many, many stupid things like you described while drunk. I continued to do them well into my 30's. You're young and can save yourself a lot of future embarrassment if you address your drinking now. Smartphones and Facebook make it so much easier for drunks to make a fool of themselves. Fortunately, when I was your age, the internet had only about 10 websites and cellphones cost 3 grand. I think most of us on here can relate to drunken regrets.