aeo1313

I am a little over 4 months sober. I still have trouble labeling myself alcoholic (I stopped pain pills at same time and those were what prompted recovery) but I do agree life is pretty nice with no hangovers! Anyway, for a while I was thinking how one glass would be ok...but after thinking that thought for weeks I have decided I don't even want that. One glass to me is a pointless waste of calories. One glass has no effect- and I drink for effect. I have no desire to get drunk and since I don't want to be drunk the idea of that one drink is lost. Does this even make sense?

I am doing a mud run today and every mile has a beer stop. The more I thought about that the stupider I thought it was. Why drink one beer??? What's the point? Drink 12 or drink none. Also, I am going to my first football party tonight, sober. And I'm OK with it. The thoughts of drinking are getting weaker and weaker. I like that!

Next week I am doing another mud run (yes, I'm crazy) and my team is planning on drinking at my house before the race. I will be driving. I don't feel anymore that I am missing out. In fact- I feel that I will be getting MORE out of my day. Clear memories, no hangover...

mecanix

Yes it does, i agree.
I could never just have one, well i could but it used to make me miserable , 4, 7, 10 or 20 hit the mark much better . It was killing me though .
I was doing something for "fun" or to "cope" and it was killing me .
I am an alcoholic and if i drink i will die from it sooner or later , i find it easier to deal with to be very clear on this , that way i don''t have doubt or a way to bargain myself into drinking again .

Bestwishes, M

FBL

I agree. I drank to get drunk. Never could understand the concept of "just one or two" beers. Hell, it took me at least 6 just to get "warmed-up"!

silly

I don't understand "just one" either. What's the point? Better to have none than one. That's something non problem drinkers don't understand.

Best of luck and fun with the mud runs and the party!

aasharon90

One of any kind of alcohol is just not
enough to quench my craving for it. All
it would take is one and Im off to an
unlimited amount of poison in my system
that would result in possible death.

SoberSteve

One is too many; a million are not enough.
Enjoy your mud runs.

wallup

I hear you completely. Never understood why anyone would want to drink one. One or two just made me sleepy. I wanted to either be sober or drunk, in between was boring.

I never had a problem controlling myself with 1 or 2 or even 3 in social situations where control was required (e.g. work events, weddings). That part has always baffled me. I thought us alcoholics couldn't stop at one? I could always stop. I would just rather be drunk if the situation allowed it.

freshstart57

Glad to hear that things are going so well for you, Aeo1313. 4 months is great! I agree with your idea that there really is no point in having a single drink.

You say that you 'still have trouble labeling yourself an alcoholic'. I can understand that point of view perfectly, given your relationship with alcohol now. How do you feel about labeling yourself an oxy addict? Are you an oxy addict? Is your relationship with pain pills now different than with alcohol?

Elphaba

I can completely relate. No, I don't want just one drink either, never have. Paradoxically, I don't want to get black out drunk either. Want I want doesn't exist, and I think knowing that keeps me sober.

CarolD

When I was rather new to AA I did hear members say
"It's the first drink that makes you drunk"

My brain was still saturated so I thought....
"Who are these weirdo panty waiste people?
I never got drunk on 1 drink...Geez!"


It's been a long time since I've worried about such pronouncements
or needed to prove to myself that I can really drink one.

Hope everyone is finding their way into lasting recovery

aeo1313

I am not a pill addict. I had a year of pill abuse but no longer take any drugs. So, I guess I used to be addicted and am not now. Some may not agree with this statement. Years ago I had an eating disorder and recovered. I am no longer anorexic. Been there done that moved on.

The run was KILLER by the way. The entire thing was trail runs on a mountainous area. During it I wanted to die- after I was on top of the world!

freshstart57

Congratulations, you must be so proud of you. Well done, Aeo.

ivehadenoughnow

Interesting post and it resonates with me. I can stop at 1, 2, 3, or any number, but I didn't want to. If I'm the driver I keep it to 1-2, if I have a race or something the next day I don't drink at all. If I'm at a work-type function I maintain my composure. I guess that if I knew it was ok to "turn the corner" with friends or family that I always would! My wife can go to a party and sip on wine for 4 hours though. Me, I wanted to leave as early as possible if I was the DD as being social with a couple of drinks isn't my idea of fun.

Sally1009

For me it has been a bit different. Until my late 30s I WAS able to have one or two glasses of wine with friends, then feel I'd had enough, and want coffee instead. But almost overnight I went from occasional social drinker to full-blown alcoholic. And for that reason, it took me years to accept I WAS an alcoholic. It was so baffling...
So I have experienced both: normal, then abnormal drinker. Very weird, and a bit isolating for me, because I dont find many people who share my story.

ivehadenoughnow

I was once a normal drinker. I mean we'd go to a party and whoop it up, but then the next night it wouldn't even cross our minds. When I bought my first kegerator and had beer on tap with my two roommates we quite literally all went to problem status. Two of us were worse than the third, but even he has settled into a daily drinker. It makes me wonder if they have ever done studies on drinkers that either grew up or always had alcohol available vs those that didn't have full-time access to it. I guarantee you if you did a clinical study with people with a fully stocked bar vs those without for a 1 year period that the first group would generate infinitely more problem drinkers than the other.

DoubleBarrel

I never could understand anybody having one or two and stopping.
I would have one or two on my way home from the liquor store.

Thats the difference between normal people and alcoholics.

I wouldn't have one or two, would never want to, even if that were possible.

MrsKing

Aeo, I am beyond pleased for you! Congratulations!

Mark75

Yea, I find myself not wanting to drink at all. That is a miracle. I was waiting near the bar for my wife to come out of the ladies room after our anniversary dinner out (28 years!!)... It is a fancy bar, with the high shelf booze on lighted stands so it glowed... The amber colors and fancy bottles. The wine racks behind glass with tasteful flood lights on the fancy labels... And I felt completely neutral... Actually I was admiring the visual effect the restaurant was able to achieve... And I wasn't even thinking about drinking, or, more miraculously, not drinking... My mind wandered over to the fancy hi-def TV and the college football game... And she came out and then we left.

I'm free.

Impurrfect

((aeo)) - Congratulations on your mud run. Though my DOC is crack, I know there is no way I could do it just once. My brain goes to "more, more, MORE". Fortunately, I have vivid memories of my life as a crackhead and how miserable I was when I relasped.

Back in the day, my XABF#1 was a functioning alcoholic. I drank to keep up or put up with him. I didn't even think in terms of a drink or two, I bought half gallons and when through them way too fast. Today? Over 5 years into recovery, I still know that one or two drinks would just want me more

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Wifi

I've always been one that can control it (for the most part)...

Unfortunately when I am controlling it I am not enjoying it and when I am enjoying it I am never controlling it!!!

I suppose that's why sobriety is the only way for me...