What does a "plan" to stay sober look like for you?
TiG
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Chicago Area
Posts: 381
What does a "plan" to stay sober look like for you?
I see posts every now and then that mention a plan to stay sober. I'm curious what this means to you so I can figure out what it might mean for me. Right now, it's SR and exercise, and so far so good for the last 62 days. Any ideas to help me work through my own plan would be really helpful, thanks!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Clinton, MT
Posts: 255
I can only speak for myself but I had about 10 years at one point. At 30 days now, I look back and have identified what I did, and didn't do, to cause myself to go back to drinking/drugging.
I find that I simply quit doing the maintanance steps of the program....steps 10, 11, and 12.
I just didn't think they were important long-term. Apparently, I was incorrect
I find that I simply quit doing the maintanance steps of the program....steps 10, 11, and 12.
I just didn't think they were important long-term. Apparently, I was incorrect
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by TodayisGood 
I see posts every now and then that mention a plan to stay sober. I'm curious what this means to you so I can figure out what it might mean for me.
Abstinence involves passively putting off the next drink while recovery involves actively working a program that keeps thoughts of drinking out of my mind completely.
My program of action can be summed up as self-examination, meditation, and prayer. Along with being of service to others.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out
using this plan one day at a time has worked pretty good for me.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out
using this plan one day at a time has worked pretty good for me.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
When I first quit I didn't know what to do, so I got into a 12 step program, because I figured I didn't need to reinvent the wheel when I was such a clueless wreck. That got me moving in the direction of recovery, and was a great support as I collected more life tools to support my sobriety.
My ultimate plan was to create a life where I was less vulnerable and therefore less likely to turn to booze and pills every time life felt scary.
Feeling alone and misunderstood were two huge triggers for me. SR is my number one tool against that. Having this community to share with and learn from teaches me everyday that I am not alone, and my feelings and thoughts are perfectly normal, not something to be ashamed of or that need to be drowned away.
Over time I am making other changes in my life, and practicing new life skills that simply don't involve drinking or drugs. They are not an option. I equip myself to address life sober.
The foundation of my plan is that there is always an option to do something better than drink or drug, and I'm going to choose those better things.
Over time I think less and less about drinking and drugging, and when I do, it's like looking back at a misguided relationship I used to be in. A sort of "what did I ever see in him?" thing.
But I also realize that there is always a temptation to "hook up" with an ex again, in moments of loneliness. It's great to have SR to come to instead.
My ultimate plan was to create a life where I was less vulnerable and therefore less likely to turn to booze and pills every time life felt scary.
Feeling alone and misunderstood were two huge triggers for me. SR is my number one tool against that. Having this community to share with and learn from teaches me everyday that I am not alone, and my feelings and thoughts are perfectly normal, not something to be ashamed of or that need to be drowned away.
Over time I am making other changes in my life, and practicing new life skills that simply don't involve drinking or drugs. They are not an option. I equip myself to address life sober.
The foundation of my plan is that there is always an option to do something better than drink or drug, and I'm going to choose those better things.
Over time I think less and less about drinking and drugging, and when I do, it's like looking back at a misguided relationship I used to be in. A sort of "what did I ever see in him?" thing.
But I also realize that there is always a temptation to "hook up" with an ex again, in moments of loneliness. It's great to have SR to come to instead.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
My plan to stay sober is... just that. To stay sober.
Everyone is different on this, but I've been sober five months now by wanting to be sober and believing in my own ability to stay sober. All I've needed to do is 100% believe that I will NEVER drink again and I will NEVER change my mind, and it's taken all worry and concern away from me. Using that 'never' word has been totally liberating, really.
I find that the problem with elaborate plans is that I very rarely stick to them. I'm useless like that. I just need the absolute determination that I can do it and I will do it
Find what works for you. Have a look at AA, AVRT, Rational Recovery, SMART, and more. There's much information on all of these on this board. I use AVRT because it's simple and works for me, but others swear by AA. You just need to shop around and find the best fit.
Wishing you all the best.
Everyone is different on this, but I've been sober five months now by wanting to be sober and believing in my own ability to stay sober. All I've needed to do is 100% believe that I will NEVER drink again and I will NEVER change my mind, and it's taken all worry and concern away from me. Using that 'never' word has been totally liberating, really.
I find that the problem with elaborate plans is that I very rarely stick to them. I'm useless like that. I just need the absolute determination that I can do it and I will do it
Find what works for you. Have a look at AA, AVRT, Rational Recovery, SMART, and more. There's much information on all of these on this board. I use AVRT because it's simple and works for me, but others swear by AA. You just need to shop around and find the best fit.
Wishing you all the best.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 557
For me, my plan, included the necessity to change my way of thinking.
I know that there's controversy as to whether alcoholism is a disease or not, but it doesn't matter. I prefer to think of my particular alcoholism as an incurable deadly disease. One that I must continually take medication (AA meetings, BB readings, and working the steps) or die.
If I give myself the out, that some believe comes after sincerely working one program or another, then I also give myself the permission to have another drink at some point. I had to accept that I could never have another drink at any point in my life ever again, and to keep it in prospective, because 'never' is such a daunting prospect, I choose to renew my vow to myself on a daily basis. That I won't drink, just for today. Makes it a lot easier, when all I have to deal with is today. Especially since tomorrow isn't here yet, and I can't really do anything about it anyway.
My plan, also includes a huge support network. When I fist got sobor, I had one fellow's phone number, until I called him and he wasn't around. So, I got 10, until I called them and they were all out at a roundup. Now I have, the phone numbers and website urls of every AA center in Alberta, and know how to get the same information for any place in the world. I also feel very confident that if I call any one of those places, I will find the help with staying sober that I need, whatever that help is.
That's my plan, and it's ongoing. The plan is a fluid plan, in that it changes when necessary to accomodate whatever is necessary for me to stay sober and survive
I know that there's controversy as to whether alcoholism is a disease or not, but it doesn't matter. I prefer to think of my particular alcoholism as an incurable deadly disease. One that I must continually take medication (AA meetings, BB readings, and working the steps) or die.
If I give myself the out, that some believe comes after sincerely working one program or another, then I also give myself the permission to have another drink at some point. I had to accept that I could never have another drink at any point in my life ever again, and to keep it in prospective, because 'never' is such a daunting prospect, I choose to renew my vow to myself on a daily basis. That I won't drink, just for today. Makes it a lot easier, when all I have to deal with is today. Especially since tomorrow isn't here yet, and I can't really do anything about it anyway.
My plan, also includes a huge support network. When I fist got sobor, I had one fellow's phone number, until I called him and he wasn't around. So, I got 10, until I called them and they were all out at a roundup. Now I have, the phone numbers and website urls of every AA center in Alberta, and know how to get the same information for any place in the world. I also feel very confident that if I call any one of those places, I will find the help with staying sober that I need, whatever that help is.
That's my plan, and it's ongoing. The plan is a fluid plan, in that it changes when necessary to accomodate whatever is necessary for me to stay sober and survive
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,348
At first my plan was to "replace" drinking, with hobbies, exercise, eating right, etc. Congrats on your 60+ days, I only made it 14 before I found I needed help!! Since then my plan became the 12 steps and also the fellowship of AA. I find this plan leaves me much better equipped to deal with life without drinking. All the best to you on your chosen path! 
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Boleo
There is a big difference between abstinence and recovery. Abstinence is needing to think about not-drinking. Recovery is not-needing to think about drinking.
Abstinence involves passively putting off the next drink while recovery involves actively working a program that keeps thoughts of drinking out of my mind completely.
Abstinence involves passively putting off the next drink while recovery involves actively working a program that keeps thoughts of drinking out of my mind completely.
I'd add one thing to that list:
- Abstinence means going back to living and feeling the way I lived/felt right before picking up a drink - still suffering from alcoholISM but not drinking (which wasn't an enjoyable way to live).
- Recovery means living/feeling the way I was meant to as a human being - not barraged by: irritability, restlessness, boredom, overly high/low self-esteem, the inability to "measure up," social phobias, and constant malcontent.
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
My plan is on this site somewhere. I started "MY PLAN" on 6-8-09 and have not had a drink/drug since. Lemme go find it....
Cut and pasted:
It really DOES work if you work it. It's funny...now that I have clarity of mind and know what I want to do, I can't wait to get started.
My treatment plan so far (please comment if you wish):
1. At LEAST 1 AA/NA meeting a day (currently doing 1-2 per day).
2. Work with sponsor: steps AND service work. (already have sponsor and working step 3). Need to start service work ASAP.
3. IOP. My insurance will pay for this and 6 weeks of 5-9pm 4X per week wouldn't hurt, plus I can get contacts for other parts of my plan. Plus a little more time away from hubby/kids to focus on ME.
4. Individual therapy. (already have addictionologist for meds, but need cognitive/behavioral therapy). Not sure how often. Maybe once per week to start.
5. Marital/couples therapy. Again, not sure how often. Hubby is writing his own plan and we will come together on the frequency of sessions.
I may wait to finish IOP to start the individual/marital stuff so I don't get overwhelmed and set myself up for failure with too much stuff.
Other things that I am already doing:
Make my bed in the morning.
Pray on my knees in the morning before I do anything else (okay, I can pee first). And again at bedtime.
Regular exercise...nothing crazy, 3-4 times per week cardio/weights.
Vitamins/nutrition.
Reading big book/addiction literature/meditation daily.
Accountability:
Sponsor/spouse/whoever may randomly drug test me. If I refuse or am positive, I can't stay in the family home.
Call sponsor daily (or more if needed).
Call at least 2 numbers on my AA/NA phone list DAILY. (learn to reach out...I am horrible at this).
Show up for appointments (IOP/therapy).
The therapist said that the plan (or web as she called it) will always be changing and that I "fill the holes" that may develop by tweaking the plan.
Where is the print button? I am putting this on the fridge.
Mfanch
Cut and pasted:
It really DOES work if you work it. It's funny...now that I have clarity of mind and know what I want to do, I can't wait to get started.
My treatment plan so far (please comment if you wish):
1. At LEAST 1 AA/NA meeting a day (currently doing 1-2 per day).
2. Work with sponsor: steps AND service work. (already have sponsor and working step 3). Need to start service work ASAP.
3. IOP. My insurance will pay for this and 6 weeks of 5-9pm 4X per week wouldn't hurt, plus I can get contacts for other parts of my plan. Plus a little more time away from hubby/kids to focus on ME.
4. Individual therapy. (already have addictionologist for meds, but need cognitive/behavioral therapy). Not sure how often. Maybe once per week to start.
5. Marital/couples therapy. Again, not sure how often. Hubby is writing his own plan and we will come together on the frequency of sessions.
I may wait to finish IOP to start the individual/marital stuff so I don't get overwhelmed and set myself up for failure with too much stuff.
Other things that I am already doing:
Make my bed in the morning.
Pray on my knees in the morning before I do anything else (okay, I can pee first). And again at bedtime.
Regular exercise...nothing crazy, 3-4 times per week cardio/weights.
Vitamins/nutrition.
Reading big book/addiction literature/meditation daily.
Accountability:
Sponsor/spouse/whoever may randomly drug test me. If I refuse or am positive, I can't stay in the family home.
Call sponsor daily (or more if needed).
Call at least 2 numbers on my AA/NA phone list DAILY. (learn to reach out...I am horrible at this).
Show up for appointments (IOP/therapy).
The therapist said that the plan (or web as she called it) will always be changing and that I "fill the holes" that may develop by tweaking the plan.
Where is the print button? I am putting this on the fridge.
Mfanch
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Like Mrs. King, my plan about my continued use of alcohol is very simple. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind. Initially, at the moment I decided to quit, my plan had things in it like removing the alcohol from my home, returning all the empties, writing a list of bad things that will happen if I don't quit and another list of good things that I could have when I quit, stuff like that.
Now, my daily 'real work' consists of getting on with my life now that I have it back. No more alcohol means just that.
Now, my daily 'real work' consists of getting on with my life now that I have it back. No more alcohol means just that.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Reminds me of the "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail" quote.
I think when people ask the question about "what's your plan", it comes from thinking that what you've BEEN doing so far hasn't worked.. so what's different, what are you going to DO besides switch your beverage choice. For me that was the difference between abstinence and recovery. Abstinence was changing my beverage, recovery was changing my life.
I think when people ask the question about "what's your plan", it comes from thinking that what you've BEEN doing so far hasn't worked.. so what's different, what are you going to DO besides switch your beverage choice. For me that was the difference between abstinence and recovery. Abstinence was changing my beverage, recovery was changing my life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
Posts: 718
I tried my own plan years ago & failed. This time, I did what I was told. I went to meetings, got an (Old School) sponsor--he worked the Steps with me...and went to meetings. My sponsor gave me the plan...keep it simple...Go to meetings, get a sponsor, if possible get involved in service & work the steps & go to meetings...Meetings pop up twice, because that is the key...you must stay plugged in no matter how rough the seas get...keep yourself anchored.
Galatians 5:13
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tampa Bay
Posts: 329
I had this same question when I entered into my committment to stay sober. What I did in the past didn't work, so I knew I needed a plan. I started out educating myself about AVRT and AA techniques, but more importantly about relapse prevention management. After I stabilized (dried out), which took about 7 days, I started to keep a recovery journal. There are 5 core sections and a miscellaneous section I fill with random thoughts and feelings.
I try to do something in each of the sections every day.
Section 1: Continual Education
Section 2: Relapse Management
Section 3: Health & Fitness
Section 4: Involve Others
Assess Recovery Plan & Relapse Prevention Plan
I also use my journal to write down inspirational quotes in big letters. I haven't put photos in my journal yet, but I might.
I am early in recovery and haven't fully worked the plan, but I feel good that I have one and do plan to follow it. Especially the Staying Sober book and workbook combo I picked up years ago. I've learned so much.
Good luck!
Tammy
I try to do something in each of the sections every day.
Section 1: Continual Education
- Reading about Alcoholism
- Reading the The Big Book
- Reading books about recovery
- Browse SR.com
Section 2: Relapse Management
- Identify Triggers
- Write alternative responses to triggers
- Work through the Staying Sober workbook
Section 3: Health & Fitness
- Establish a nutrtionally sound diet and stick to it 85% of the time
- Daily exercise (minimum of 30 minutes of some type of cardio)
- Relaxation and/or Meditation
Section 4: Involve Others
- Communicate regularly with Jeff (my husband)
- Make a list of people to call when I am feeling angry, lonely, sad, jealous, happy, insecure
Assess Recovery Plan & Relapse Prevention Plan
- Once a month I ask "are my plans still working?"
- Course correct as need
- Note: As we grow and change in our recovery, our plans will need too as well
I also use my journal to write down inspirational quotes in big letters. I haven't put photos in my journal yet, but I might.
I am early in recovery and haven't fully worked the plan, but I feel good that I have one and do plan to follow it. Especially the Staying Sober book and workbook combo I picked up years ago. I've learned so much.
Good luck!
Tammy
TiG
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Chicago Area
Posts: 381
Great comments everybody! It's going to take a while for me to work through all these ideas. Not too stressed about it, because I'm doing pretty good so far. But, there is always some way to learn more about my own triggers and resource network for the challenging times. I can see where Complacency lowers the defenses and leads to drinking thoughts, and that some kind of daily commitment keeps sobriety strong and healthy. Physical actions are another self imposed restriction... Just not going to buy booze anymore no matter how compelling the idea might be at the time. The more time I spend alcohol free, the more I like it, and really, over thinking this part diffuses the enjoyment of being someone who abstains. Exercise has helped tremendously. Going for a jog completely relaxes any cravings. I do need to figure out how to handle times when my legs need a break and Irritability begins to climb. Anyway, thank you for your posts! More are welcome.
Have a great sober day!
Have a great sober day!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
