hello again day 5
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 63
hello again day 5
And haven't had a drop to drink and I really want one. I know tampering off does not work for me so I'm going to have to just wait the craving out.
I'm putting day 5 here so tomorrow I can type day 6!
my siblings and I are spread out across the states and dont know I drink and hubby when I say day 5 and want a drink says so go get one as he rattles his whiskey and ice.
I wish we were not closet drunks so I could talk to a friend for support.
Typing on my kindle fire very hard for me to use this little keyboard. Please excuse periods and capital letters where they dont belong and other mistakes
I'm putting day 5 here so tomorrow I can type day 6!
my siblings and I are spread out across the states and dont know I drink and hubby when I say day 5 and want a drink says so go get one as he rattles his whiskey and ice.
I wish we were not closet drunks so I could talk to a friend for support.
Typing on my kindle fire very hard for me to use this little keyboard. Please excuse periods and capital letters where they dont belong and other mistakes
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 63
Day 6, when I get a craving I do deep breathing and tell myself the cravings will pass.
Hubby has been getting on my nerves, that could be from not drinking or maybe for years we started drinking when he got home from work and I never noticed how he talks down to me. I'm praying its the changes I'm going through and not him.
Had the grand kids over today and played candy land turns out my grand daughter is a candy land champ won every game. Older grandson played wii. Not once did I say shush not so loud be quite! Then we went out and played lets see how high the chickens will jump for rasins the kids squealed in joy and I laughed and laughed. So all in all a wonderful alcohol free day.
Except for the cravings seems like my chest gets tight and my skinfeels like its tingling and I think over and over I want a drink just one drink, but it passes and then I feel normal again. It's like a wave of want washing over me and hits me out of the blue. I'm determined to achive sobriety, alcohol will lose this time I'm going to win.
So glad this sight is here.
Hubby has been getting on my nerves, that could be from not drinking or maybe for years we started drinking when he got home from work and I never noticed how he talks down to me. I'm praying its the changes I'm going through and not him.
Had the grand kids over today and played candy land turns out my grand daughter is a candy land champ won every game. Older grandson played wii. Not once did I say shush not so loud be quite! Then we went out and played lets see how high the chickens will jump for rasins the kids squealed in joy and I laughed and laughed. So all in all a wonderful alcohol free day.
Except for the cravings seems like my chest gets tight and my skinfeels like its tingling and I think over and over I want a drink just one drink, but it passes and then I feel normal again. It's like a wave of want washing over me and hits me out of the blue. I'm determined to achive sobriety, alcohol will lose this time I'm going to win.
So glad this sight is here.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
I used to tell that voice that maybe I will entertain it tomorrow, but today, I choose NOT to.
Tomorrow will become today once again. Repeat. The Serenity Prayer helps, too! Or put on some music....
You can do this!!
Love & hugs,
Tomorrow will become today once again. Repeat. The Serenity Prayer helps, too! Or put on some music....
You can do this!!
Love & hugs,
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 63
Day 7 though the day isn't over yet. This has turned into my diary.
Woke up with lots of energy but a slight headache. Had a cuppa coffee and realized I didn't feel like throwing it up!
Worked for a 2 hours we own our own buisness. Then came home and built the chickens a bigger enclosed run hubby even came down later and helped. Made supper and of course it's tuesday 1$ beer night at the American legion he went and here I set on the couch. I have my bottle of water and the dogs and a good book. No cravings while I was busy but so tempted to go take a small sip of vodka. No one would know my mind says I can take one small sip and lie to hubby and say another day with out drinking. But NO I'm not going to, 1 small sip would turn it 2&3&4& so on. Reading here really helps, I have each and every one of you in my prayers if that's ok, I pray we all have the will power to beat down this monster called alcohol.
I was thinking while hammering on that fence today. I think one of the reasons I drink is self loathing self hate and a whole lot of immaturity. Surly someone who loves themself wouldn't be so immature as to fall into bed so drunk that they are sick the next morning.
Woke up with lots of energy but a slight headache. Had a cuppa coffee and realized I didn't feel like throwing it up!
Worked for a 2 hours we own our own buisness. Then came home and built the chickens a bigger enclosed run hubby even came down later and helped. Made supper and of course it's tuesday 1$ beer night at the American legion he went and here I set on the couch. I have my bottle of water and the dogs and a good book. No cravings while I was busy but so tempted to go take a small sip of vodka. No one would know my mind says I can take one small sip and lie to hubby and say another day with out drinking. But NO I'm not going to, 1 small sip would turn it 2&3&4& so on. Reading here really helps, I have each and every one of you in my prayers if that's ok, I pray we all have the will power to beat down this monster called alcohol.
I was thinking while hammering on that fence today. I think one of the reasons I drink is self loathing self hate and a whole lot of immaturity. Surly someone who loves themself wouldn't be so immature as to fall into bed so drunk that they are sick the next morning.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 63
Still clean 
but hubby is being very demeaning towards me 
last night I even poured a glass of vodka but I didn't drink it poured it out. I was cooking supper and he came in and started talking as I was measuring rice out and he started over emphasizing using he arms and hands pointing out I was a little off of the measurement (like it would have really mattered) when he started calling me stupid I announced supper is over and went and set outside leaving him in the house. I'm not going to get into a verbal spat with him. I'm confused as we never fight.
On the upside my daughter came over for supper Wed. and to pick up some eggs and she said mom you look good, I told her I'm on a new diet called not drinking. She didn't respond as her parents drinking has never been talked about the families hidden secret or the elephant in the room no one speaks of.
I'm sleeping better, my stomach does not hurt any more and I have noticed the shaking of my head and hands has stopped.
but hubby is being very demeaning towards me 
last night I even poured a glass of vodka but I didn't drink it poured it out. I was cooking supper and he came in and started talking as I was measuring rice out and he started over emphasizing using he arms and hands pointing out I was a little off of the measurement (like it would have really mattered) when he started calling me stupid I announced supper is over and went and set outside leaving him in the house. I'm not going to get into a verbal spat with him. I'm confused as we never fight. On the upside my daughter came over for supper Wed. and to pick up some eggs and she said mom you look good, I told her I'm on a new diet called not drinking. She didn't respond as her parents drinking has never been talked about the families hidden secret or the elephant in the room no one speaks of.
I'm sleeping better, my stomach does not hurt any more and I have noticed the shaking of my head and hands has stopped.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 579
Hello, klp! I don't have any great words of wisdom or advice, but I do want to say I have admiration for your courage and determination. Sounds like you are going through some very revealing family issues. These can be very liberating as well as very painful, sometimes both together.
I'm sorry your husband is not treating you with respect. I can only imagine how hard it must be for him to drink openly before you, to undermine your efforts, and to verbally abuse you. I don't blame you one bit for walking out on the supper--in fact, I applaud you for it! Maybe that got his attention?
Anyway, just wanting you to know I care, I'm thinking of you, and keep on refusing to drink! ((hug))
I'm sorry your husband is not treating you with respect. I can only imagine how hard it must be for him to drink openly before you, to undermine your efforts, and to verbally abuse you. I don't blame you one bit for walking out on the supper--in fact, I applaud you for it! Maybe that got his attention?
Anyway, just wanting you to know I care, I'm thinking of you, and keep on refusing to drink! ((hug))
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Well done on getting yourself out of the confortation.. and staying sober.. Pouring the drink out.. GREAT work... 
I hope maybe youll think about coming to a AA meeting. where you can get and be surrounded with woman that can relate and help you thru this...
The steps and the support of the fellowship is truly a miracle..
I be holding the door open daily
I hope maybe youll think about coming to a AA meeting. where you can get and be surrounded with woman that can relate and help you thru this...
The steps and the support of the fellowship is truly a miracle..
I be holding the door open daily
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 63
By my figures I'm on day 13 and still clean. Now my mind is telling me I probably was not addicted to alcohol. At least now I laugh at the voice and call it a fool. No way am I going to pick up a drink and start down that road of destruction again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
Well done klp! I'm so proud of you. I highly recommend giving AA a try. They will love you like you've never been loved before, until you can love yourself. Don't know what's going on with the husband. Maybe he is threatened by your change and by your new strength.
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